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Caption Competition picture of the month

May Competition
There were so many really good entries this month, everyone could have been a winner - which is why it was so hard to pick just one caption.

This one is very good because it focuses on one of Avon's great features!

i'm sure i dropped that sarcasm pill around here somewhere!

by denn

Well done everyone! Thanks for entering!

avon- im a tiger RRRRAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!

by super saiya-jin imp

Vila: <b>"But Avon, I only cut the lawns last thursday. Do i have to do it again..?"</B><br>
Avon: <b> " Yes, and this time, don't fall aslep half-way through!"</b>

by kevs

avon_ where the hell are my glasses
vila_ you dont wear any you fool
avon_i feel like such a tw*t

by super saiya-jin imp

Avon singing: My girl has three leggs what can I do.
She doesn't know what to do with the 4th shoe.
Villa: Stop singing that stupid song and kiss me you sexy spaceman.

by Jerry The Gay Shoe Salesman

Avon:Are you *sure* Tynus said he'd trade the T-P crystal for an albino grasshopper?

by Marian Mendez

Avon: Vila! where's orac?

by Sarah

Is it me or is the gravity thicker round here?

by Jill Tardivel

Vila: That's it, mere mortal, grovel. Grovel before the might of... Tortoise-Man!

by Martin

We're not worthy!

by Seducing Avon



Avon and Villa picking worms to go fishing....
Villa: C'mon Avon hurry up and pick some worms instead of eating them.
Avon: Shut up you intergalatic space turd. You're as useless as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Villa: At least I know enough not to eat worms you poor excuse for a human being.

by The Pimpled Pervert

Avon, unaeare that Villa was staring at his butt like a sex starved crazy man was looking through the grass for the keys to the Liberator.

by Who Phlung Pooh

Avon: I'm telling you this is the spot where I lost all my change, now shut up and help me find it you idiot.

by Iva Biggin

Vila: Well can you feel a pulse?

by Alex Henderson

Vila: What are you doing?
Avon: Burying Cally's pet moon disk...I accidentally steped on it...

by Holly Martha Focker

"Quick Villa they think we have foot and mouth"

by Wilf

VILLA : "Bollocks to this back to nature ramble I'm away to the pub, it's been open 10 minutes!"

by wilf

"Your car keys are there! Are you sure your all right to drive?

by wilf

Blake: Now where the hell is that contact lense?

by Alex Henderson

Blake: There be gold in them there mountains!

by Alex Henderson

Hold on!! They might flick the grav switch any second, I don't want to fall off!!!

by Meistermann

Vila creeps up and listens...

Avon(quietly, to himself): "I did not show it, but I liked Vila. May he rest in peace. That terrible accident has shocked us all."
Yes! And those fools will never realise!

by fan

Blake (off camera) "Jenna's right, from the back you two DO look like The Likely Lads!"

by Bobster

Vila: Oh come on, Avon! I'd rather be challenging the Klute again at speed chess than waiting about like this!

Avon: Yes, Vila, pity you hadn't lost the first time.

by Zyd

vila is the boy wonder!

by super saiyan evil imp

I don't think this is what the Captain meant when he asked us to look for a Wormhole!

by Richard Moss

Rather than listen to Avon's logical rambings Villa and Blake chose to count the grass on a nearby planet.

by Steve Frazer

Paul Darrrow <Thinks>: 4 years at RADA and they've got me in a field pretending to be a bloody sheep? No wonder Gareth Thomas got out after series one...

by Zaxx

well until we find the starship ignition
keys to the liberator we aint goin

by mick gayfer

that invisible ink works a treat, look you can't see my finger tips against the grass

by Mitena

These monsters are getting more pathetic. How are we supposed to fight flippin' worms?

by Richard Moss

Help me look, there must be a prize in Cheggers paddock somewhere!

by Cheggersbedroom Groupie

i know my contact is here somewhere

by janette

avon... its ok vila, my grandad taught me how to find mines using this very tecnique.
vila...oh really, how is your grandad?
avon.. oh he died when a mine blew his arm off, it was a freak accident.
vila... you know, i dont trust for some reason.

by super saiyan evil imp

avon...ill kill you for suggesting we come to this fancy dress party. was i supposed to know it was a wind up?
avon... in a chocolate finger for christs sakes!!!!
vila... at least your not a banana split.
(1 banana 2 banana 3 banana 4......)

by super saiyan evil imp

Avon: Vila, I shrunk the kids!

by Chris F

Villa so these are the mushrooms that Blakes been stashing in his cabin.
Avon It would explain why he and Jenna have taken it upon themselves to repaint the Liberator all the colours of the rainbow.

by Gareth Lucas

vila....its ok mate, shows youve had a good night
avon.... 'ere, i dont remember eating all this green stuff...BLUURRRRRGHHHHHH!!!

by super saiyan evil imp

Vila: This isn't a good time to do your famous David Bellamy impression, Avon!

by Andrew

Vila: What's that smell?

Avon: I think I've just put my hand in something nasty....

by Darkside

Vila: Avon! This is hardly the time to look for your contact lens!

by Darkside

I could have sworn the door was here when we came in!

by Danny Boy

villa: hurry avon the dinghy on my back is about to inflate

by ivan sinha

Avon: It's not my field...

by Slartibartfast to use the pooper scooper....

by Don

Avon: {Sniff, sniff} Oh man, I got this crazy spaced-out feeling in my head...
Vila: No Avon, grass. GRASS...! Oh never mind.

by Martin

AVON:I cant belive you lost it Vila. Blake is not going to be very happy that we lost his glasses. Now, where would thay be around here.


AVON:Are you sure this were you last saw it?
VILA:Yes, this is where I had it last, I am sure

by WM

"A planet where apes evolved from my toupee??"

by Zbu

VILA: what is wrong Avon?
AVON: I lost my pot!!!

by Mickeydoodles

Avon: Wow man, this grass is soo soft and perdy!
Vila: How much of that weed did you eat!!??
Avon: I don't know,but I think I'm getting the munchies.

by L. S.

AVON "Its alive I tell you, look its trying to eat my fingers!! HELP!!!",
At this point Vila begins to wonder if slipping some ecstasy into Avons drink was such a good idea.

by Paul Maddox

Vila: Yeah, great cow impersonation Avon.
Can we go home now?

by Matt

Avon: Alright Vila, I'll do the water feature and you can do the decking. Things just haven't been the same since Alan Titchmarsh joined the crew.

by John H

Villa: Why should I dig mine up?, Why Don't you get a bone of your own

by Wayne

Vila: "Nice shot Avon!"
Avon: "I was aiming for his head!"

by Arnold

Avon: Show me the way to go home...

by Ewan

After loosing a football game to Blake, Vila has to kcik Avon up the arse!
Avon: I don't see a likness of me in the grass.
Vila: (Taking careful aim) Trust me, it's there...

by Ewan

Vila. "I dont care how drunk you are just find our way back to the Liberator."

by Biro

the decimas get smaller every year....

by cik

Not another Drink, Vila, not till I find my wallet

by cik

Vila: 'Avon, do we really need to pitch the tent this early? The festival's not till August.'

by Gaz.

Vila: Is there anything in the grass?
Avon: This is not grass, Vila, it's just soil.
Vila: It looks like grass to me...
Avon: Don't be fooled, it's soil. It's just Daniella Westbrook came here on a day trip two weeks ago and sneezed.

by Martin

Avon: Good Lord, I never imagined the Jolly Green Giant would have nits.

by Martin

Vila: Avon, stop looking for hyper-intelligent rocks (see Harvest Of Kiros) and get us across this mine field!!!

by Ewan

Avon does his best David Bellamy impression - "Wook at awl these luvly plwants"

by Simon

Avon offers to help a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle find the entrance to the sewers... and fails miserably.

by Fish

On his return to Earth, Avon visits the grave of his childhood pet "Fluffy the cat"

by Matt

Avon: With this brown costume and walking on all fours - they'll think I'm a bear and leave me alone.

by Simon

Avon: I'm going to dig a hole, and bury you Vila
Vila: Would you like me to get you a shovel?

by Matt

Villa: Avon... what are you doing?
Avon: I'm feeling the grass for termites...HA HA!!! I GOT ONE THOSE LITTLE @$$ HOLES!!!!!

by Larry

Audience: He's behind you!!
Vila: Oh no he isn't...
Travis: [Off-screen] Oh yes I am!

by Martin

Avon: Vila, please stop staring at my bum while I'm trying to do press-ups.

by Martin

Vila: ...You join us here in this great moment of history as Kerr Avon, world-renowned mountaineer, nears the completion of his greatest challenge to date, as he attempts to become the first ever man in the world to single-handedly scale the face of the Hackney Marshes...

by Martin

Avon: "Dancing in the moo-oonli-ight...!"
Vila: Thumping your hands on the floor is all very well, but wouldn't a piano sound better?

by Martin

Avon: Four-twenty-two. Four-twenty-two... HIKE HI-... What the...!!! Hey, who stole the ball?

by Martin

Vila: Hey! It's a guy puking on our nice clean football pitch! Kill 'im!!

by Martin

Vila: Avon, the vulcans mind-meld with people, not grass.

by Martin

Avon: Hey! Where's my sick bowl gone?

by Martin

Avon: Four-twenty-two. Four-twenty-two... HIKE HIKE!!!

by Martin

Vila: Have you found something?
Avon: No, I've just glued my hand to the floor.

by Martin

Well of course it isn't a cow pat, Vila.
If it was, my finger would go right inEEARRRGH!!!

by Paul Kinnear (Again!!)

Blake? BLAKE? The teleport has gone wrong again. Is that your head or your feet?

by Paul Kinnear

You were right, Vila. It IS an invisible man; but I don't think I've got him by the throat....

by Paul Kinnear

Avon: "Now all you do is add a little 'Blood and Bone', water it for about a week and you'll get rid of that nasty brown turf."

by Dahms

Avon teaches Vila the art of tracking

Avon: From these marks I can tell that 14 federation troopers passed by here....... and one of them had a limp.

by Matt

Avon: (in pain) Vila, I've done my back in again. I don't think I can get up.

by Matt

Avon: Damn, I've lost my contact lens!!

by Matt

"And here we see the remains of an ancient Roman latrine..."

Blake and Vila in their screen-test for 'Time Team'

by Phaedrus
Untitled Document

View the Results from the following months

June 2000

July 2000

August 2000

September 2000

October 2000

November 2000

December 2000

January 2001

February 2001

March 2001

April 2001

May 2001

June 2001

July 2001

August 2001

September 2001

November 2001

December 2001

January 2002


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