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May
Competition
There were so many really good entries this month, everyone could
have been a winner - which is why it was so hard to pick just one
caption.
This one is very good because it focuses on one of Avon's great features!
i'm sure
i dropped that sarcasm pill around here somewhere!
 by denn
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Well
done everyone! Thanks for entering!
avon- im
a tiger RRRRAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!
by super saiya-jin imp
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Vila: <b>"But
Avon, I only cut the lawns last thursday. Do i have to do it
again..?"</B><br>
Avon: <b> " Yes, and this time, don't fall aslep
half-way through!"</b>
by kevs
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avon_ where
the hell are my glasses
vila_ you dont wear any you fool
avon_i feel like such a tw*t
by super saiya-jin imp
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Avon singing:
My girl has three leggs what can I do.
She doesn't know what to do with the 4th shoe.
Villa: Stop singing that stupid song and kiss me you sexy spaceman.
by Jerry The Gay Shoe Salesman
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Avon:Are
you *sure* Tynus said he'd trade the T-P crystal for an albino
grasshopper?
by Marian Mendez
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Avon: Vila!
where's orac?
by Sarah
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Is it me
or is the gravity thicker round here?
by Jill Tardivel
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Vila: That's
it, mere mortal, grovel. Grovel before the might of... Tortoise-Man!
by Martin
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We're not
worthy!
by Seducing Avon
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GARDENER'S
QUESTION TIME:
"HOW GREEN IS YOUR VALLEY?"
by DAHMS
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Avon and
Villa picking worms to go fishing....
Villa: C'mon Avon hurry up and pick some worms instead of eating
them.
Avon: Shut up you intergalatic space turd. You're as useless
as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Villa: At least I know enough not to eat worms you poor excuse
for a human being.
by The Pimpled Pervert
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Avon, unaeare
that Villa was staring at his butt like a sex starved crazy
man was looking through the grass for the keys to the Liberator.
by Who Phlung Pooh
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Avon: I'm
telling you this is the spot where I lost all my change, now
shut up and help me find it you idiot.
by Iva Biggin
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Vila: Well
can you feel a pulse?
by Alex Henderson
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Vila: What
are you doing?
Avon: Burying Cally's pet moon disk...I accidentally steped
on it...
by Holly Martha Focker
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"Quick
Villa they think we have foot and mouth"
by Wilf
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VILLA :
"Bollocks to this back to nature ramble I'm away to the
pub, it's been open 10 minutes!"
by wilf
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"Your
car keys are there! Are you sure your all right to drive?
by wilf
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Blake: Now
where the hell is that contact lense?
by Alex Henderson
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Blake: There
be gold in them there mountains!
by Alex Henderson
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Hold on!!
They might flick the grav switch any second, I don't want to
fall off!!!
by Meistermann
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Vila creeps
up and listens...
Avon(quietly, to himself): "I did not show it, but I liked
Vila. May he rest in peace. That terrible accident has shocked
us all."
Yes! And those fools will never realise!
by fan
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Blake (off
camera) "Jenna's right, from the back you two DO look like
The Likely Lads!"
by Bobster
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Vila: Oh
come on, Avon! I'd rather be challenging the Klute again at
speed chess than waiting about like this!
Avon: Yes, Vila, pity you hadn't lost the first time.
by Zyd
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vila is
the boy wonder!
by super saiyan evil imp
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I don't
think this is what the Captain meant when he asked us to look
for a Wormhole!
by Richard Moss
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Rather than
listen to Avon's logical rambings Villa and Blake chose to count
the grass on a nearby planet.
by Steve Frazer
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Paul Darrrow
<Thinks>: 4 years at RADA and they've got me in a field
pretending to be a bloody sheep? No wonder Gareth Thomas got
out after series one...
by Zaxx
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well until
we find the starship ignition
keys to the liberator we aint goin
knowhere
by mick gayfer
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that invisible
ink works a treat, look you can't see my finger tips against
the grass
by Mitena
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These monsters
are getting more pathetic. How are we supposed to fight flippin'
worms?
by Richard Moss
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Help me
look, there must be a prize in Cheggers paddock somewhere!
by Cheggersbedroom Groupie
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i know my
contact is here somewhere
by janette
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avon...
its ok vila, my grandad taught me how to find mines using this
very tecnique.
vila...oh really, how is your grandad?
avon.. oh he died when a mine blew his arm off, it was a freak
accident.
vila... you know, i dont trust for some reason.
by super saiyan evil imp
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avon...ill
kill you for suggesting we come to this fancy dress party.
vila...how was i supposed to know it was a wind up?
avon... in a chocolate finger for christs sakes!!!!
vila... at least your not a banana split.
(1 banana 2 banana 3 banana 4......)
by super saiyan evil imp
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Avon: Vila,
I shrunk the kids!
by Chris F
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Villa so
these are the mushrooms that Blakes been stashing in his cabin.
Avon It would explain why he and Jenna have taken it upon themselves
to repaint the Liberator all the colours of the rainbow.
by Gareth Lucas
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avon....BLURRRRGGGGHHHH!!!
vila....its ok mate, shows youve had a good night
avon.... 'ere, i dont remember eating all this green stuff...BLUURRRRRGHHHHHH!!!
by super saiyan evil imp
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Vila: This
isn't a good time to do your famous David Bellamy impression,
Avon!
by Andrew
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Vila: What's
that smell?
Avon: I think I've just put my hand in something nasty....
by Darkside
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Vila: Avon!
This is hardly the time to look for your contact lens!
by Darkside
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I could
have sworn the door was here when we came in!
by Danny Boy
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villa: hurry
avon the dinghy on my back is about to inflate
by ivan sinha
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Avon: It's
not my field...
by Slartibartfast
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...now to
use the pooper scooper....
by Don
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Avon: {Sniff,
sniff} Oh man, I got this crazy spaced-out feeling in my head...
Vila: No Avon, grass. GRASS...! Oh never mind.
by Martin
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AVON:I cant
belive you lost it Vila. Blake is not going to be very happy
that we lost his glasses. Now, where would thay be around here.
by WEEZ
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AVON:Are
you sure this were you last saw it?
VILA:Yes, this is where I had it last, I am sure
by WM
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"A
planet where apes evolved from my toupee??"
by Zbu
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AVON: OH
MAN!!!!!
VILA: what is wrong Avon?
AVON: I lost my pot!!!
by Mickeydoodles
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Avon: Wow
man, this grass is soo soft and perdy!
Vila: How much of that weed did you eat!!??
Avon: I don't know,but I think I'm getting the munchies.
by L. S.
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AVON "Its
alive I tell you, look its trying to eat my fingers!! HELP!!!",
At this point Vila begins to wonder if slipping some ecstasy
into Avons drink was such a good idea.
by Paul Maddox
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Avon: MOOOOOOOOOO
Vila: Yeah, great cow impersonation Avon.
Can we go home now?
by Matt
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Avon: Alright
Vila, I'll do the water feature and you can do the decking.
Things just haven't been the same since Alan Titchmarsh joined
the crew.
by John H
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Villa: Why
should I dig mine up?, Why Don't you get a bone of your own
by Wayne
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Vila: "Nice
shot Avon!"
Avon: "I was aiming for his head!"
by Arnold
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Avon: Show
me the way to go home...
by Ewan
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After loosing
a football game to Blake, Vila has to kcik Avon up the arse!
Avon: I don't see a likness of me in the grass.
Vila: (Taking careful aim) Trust me, it's there...
by Ewan
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Vila. "I
dont care how drunk you are just find our way back to the Liberator."
by Biro
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the decimas
get smaller every year....
by cik
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Not another
Drink, Vila, not till I find my wallet
by cik
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Vila: 'Avon,
do we really need to pitch the tent this early? The festival's
not till August.'
by Gaz.
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Vila: Is
there anything in the grass?
Avon: This is not grass, Vila, it's just soil.
Vila: It looks like grass to me...
Avon: Don't be fooled, it's soil. It's just Daniella Westbrook
came here on a day trip two weeks ago and sneezed.
by Martin
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Avon: Good
Lord, I never imagined the Jolly Green Giant would have nits.
by Martin
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Vila: Avon,
stop looking for hyper-intelligent rocks (see Harvest Of Kiros)
and get us across this mine field!!!
by Ewan
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Avon does
his best David Bellamy impression - "Wook at awl these
luvly plwants"
by Simon
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Avon offers
to help a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle find the entrance to the
sewers... and fails miserably.
by Fish
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On his return
to Earth, Avon visits the grave of his childhood pet "Fluffy
the cat"
by Matt
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Avon: With
this brown costume and walking on all fours - they'll think
I'm a bear and leave me alone.
by Simon
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Avon: I'm
going to dig a hole, and bury you Vila
Vila: Would you like me to get you a shovel?
by Matt
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Villa: Avon...
what are you doing?
Avon: I'm feeling the grass for termites...HA HA!!! I GOT ONE
THOSE LITTLE @$$ HOLES!!!!!
by Larry
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Audience:
He's behind you!!
Vila: Oh no he isn't...
Travis: [Off-screen] Oh yes I am!
by Martin
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Avon: Vila,
please stop staring at my bum while I'm trying to do press-ups.
by Martin
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Vila: ...You
join us here in this great moment of history as Kerr Avon, world-renowned
mountaineer, nears the completion of his greatest challenge
to date, as he attempts to become the first ever man in the
world to single-handedly scale the face of the Hackney Marshes...
by Martin
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Avon: "Dancing
in the moo-oonli-ight...!"
Vila: Thumping your hands on the floor is all very well, but
wouldn't a piano sound better?
by Martin
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Avon: Four-twenty-two.
Four-twenty-two... HIKE HI-... What the...!!! Hey, who stole
the ball?
by Martin
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Vila: Hey!
It's a guy puking on our nice clean football pitch! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
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Vila: Avon,
the vulcans mind-meld with people, not grass.
by Martin
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Avon: Hey!
Where's my sick bowl gone?
by Martin
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Avon: Four-twenty-two.
Four-twenty-two... HIKE HIKE!!!
by Martin
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Vila: Have
you found something?
Avon: No, I've just glued my hand to the floor.
by Martin
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Well of
course it isn't a cow pat, Vila.
If it was, my finger would go right inEEARRRGH!!!
by Paul Kinnear (Again!!)
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Blake? BLAKE?
The teleport has gone wrong again. Is that your head or your
feet?
by Paul Kinnear
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You were
right, Vila. It IS an invisible man; but I don't think I've
got him by the throat....
by Paul Kinnear
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Avon: "Now
all you do is add a little 'Blood and Bone', water it for about
a week and you'll get rid of that nasty brown turf."
by Dahms
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Avon teaches
Vila the art of tracking
Avon: From these marks I can tell that 14 federation troopers
passed by here....... and one of them had a limp.
by Matt
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Avon: (in
pain) Vila, I've done my back in again. I don't think I can
get up.
by Matt
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Avon: Damn,
I've lost my contact lens!!
by Matt
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"And
here we see the remains of an ancient Roman latrine..."
Blake and Vila in their screen-test for 'Time Team'
by Phaedrus
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