The Nexus Wobblevision... Rumours of Death

the episode in which avon finally admitted to a love life but to no one's surprise it turned out to be quite sick and twisted....

Props and costumes:

shrinkers laser probe - a loo brush

the wall and manacels, and zen: very creative card and sellotape

anna's outfit: the hotel towels

the vidscreen: walkers cheese and onion crisp box

avon's outfit: judith just happened to have one with her

tarrant's hair: rita just happened to have a huge tufty style afro with her...

 

nb: yes, servalan has a beard. just go with it.

 

tarrant (dig that groovy hair) and dayna are off to rescue avon from the notorious federation torturer...

avon: call these manacles? you guys don't know the first thing about bon.. umm.. torture... right, come on, we'd better take him off to show him how it's really done! tarrant: you know these teleport bracelets look like they're made out of a pringles tube. hmm...

meanwhile on liberator vila consults with zen....

thanks for getting me that paint by numbers anna for avon's new torture den... i'm terrible at art

zen: +confirmed+

 

they take shrinker back to the liberator... cally (blue hair) is upset: avon, you're just sick. why can't you - you know - like everyone else? anyway, he's only little....

vila tarrant and dayna taunt shrinker : our dads bigger than your dad, our dads bigger than your dad....

 

avon recalls the last time he.. you know'... normally. well as normal as it gets :

ah anna..... (reclining with booze and a silver bedsheet).... light of my life.... if only this was channel five and we could see some *real* action...

he takes shrinker to his underground dungeon of desir.. ah hem, cavern, and taunts him with the image of anna, whom he once tortured... what it wasn't you? servalan knows who tortured anna? code name bartholomew.. right....best not kill you then.. you've only been naughty, not lethal... but you're not getting any supper....

 

meanwhile on earth anna has a crack set of troopers running through the woods after her towards servalan's castle. communal troopers thoughts: phwooar! look at that bum! we'll follow her anywhere...

anna makes it into head office to challenge servalan.... well i could kill you where you sit but i think i'll put you in an easily escapable situation before i take over the world, ha ha ha!!

servalan: have you been watching austin powers again?

 

check out the top quality vidscreen! avon and tarrant find the security guards killed by anna's men... ok, that one's dead, tarrant, see if you can get anything out of the one with the spangley jacket.. we need to find servalan....i don't know how, why don't you try licking his ear that way that you do? umm.. no.. dayna told me... oh, we haven't been to ultraworld yet, have we.. well look, never mind how i know, just do it!!!

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servalan chained to a wall....? hmm.. no, not in front of tarrant. what, anna is bartholomew? and she was going to turn me in? oh well, best shoot her then.... well of course i'll let you go servalan, after all if i don't, and given travis is dead, what am i going to do in season 4?? darned if i'm running round shooting more aliens made out of jello.....

servalan: well i could shoot you, or i could let you go.... nope, given the size of my overdraft i need a 4th season as well.... ok, take him away guys...

here avon, it's been a long day but i think we've managed to extend everyone's... contracts. i know you don't usually drink but it's been a day of frustration and all that...

avon: all right then.. but do have one yourself (thinks.. if i get him tipsy will he let me call him jenna?)

the end