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by Emma Peel

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everything wobbles....
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in which avon has a bad day but a very good hair day and blake gets to be very bossy

this weeks sets are a bit dark so it's bad picture quality... however they are courtesy of the southpark stickiforms adventure book, and sainsbury's flexistraws....


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ok fellow character we've never met before.. we're about 5 minutes short on the script this week, follow me and we'll run up and down corridors for a while.. argh! look! the federation have planted a bomb and it's going to destroy our whole planet! we can't afford that kind of special effect.. we'd better get some help...


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a distress call? oh yes, we'll go down, i can look all masterful!

come on vila and avon.

can we do something blake?

no jenna. this is a bloke's episode. just do your best to look pretty...

come on, *try*, just for me?

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welcome to our doomed planer blake. i've set up a big electric wiring thingy for avon to prod at and look sulky, and there's a safe thing so vila can be clever... do you want to start bossing them about now, or would you like a cup of tea first? oh, and i've hired a mercenary called del grant to confuse things.

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the viewers look on in wonder at avon's angst and wonder...

who is del? and why does he want him dead?

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jenna, cally, this is del. we're both off to diffuse a bomb, i'll need some alcan overalls and some pointy laser type proddy things.

ooh, can we come too?

weren't you listening? this is a bloke's episode!

now go and put some more make up on jenna, for pity's sake...

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cut to stock footage of outdoor scene somewhere cold

(thanks for the postcard of finland mum!)

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right, this is the bomb... you hold the wirey things,

while i look sarcastic and work on my double entendres....

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ok, i'm trapped under a load of pipes, avon, but you've stopped the bomb and saved both our lives.. you're not as bad as they say you are!

i forgive you for letting the federation murder my sister.

avon (thinks) hmm.. i *do* look sexy with wet hair, don't i.. wonder if i can get some swimming scenes like colin firth.. i'm a much better actor than him....

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thanks for helping with the bomb del.. do you want to join our crew?

no, avon will be far more moody without my chirpy manner around the place...

avon (stomps off in a huff to the flight deck)


the end

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