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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Federation Weapons Development Base on maximum security alert.




File: Weapon

This is a delicate one, information has been listed as Highly Classified. But donít worry, old trooper P (what my mates call me) might not have a high security clearance but he does have a bunch of Ďboots on the groundí (some trooper jargon) as friends. Hereís the scoop; Supreme Commander Servalan and former Space Commander Travis met with Clonemaster Fen where they ■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■. While at the base it turns out that technician Coser had ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and then Blake and his rat pack ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ but Servalan had ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ So in the end Blake and ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ While Travis and Servalan ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ And we can add three more troopers to Blakeís bodycount. My condolences to their next of kin.

(Unfortunately certain parts of my report may be edited so only those with double A security clearance or better can view it)



This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Blake reported on planet Horizon.




File: Horizon

Early transmissions indicated that Blake and several members of his crew of criminals were captured on Horizon but within twenty four hours all communications with the planet ceased. Knowing Blakeís history the logical conclusion is that he somehow convinced the natives to rebel and kill all the Federation personnel. Before I state the ramifications allow me to give a brief history of our relationship with Horizon.

Horizon, formerly Silmareno, is one of only two planets in the galaxy that has monopasium-239, an necessary element for our hyper-space drive engines. Hyper-space engines will allow us to explore other galaxies (to boldly go where no man has gone before) or to simply reach faraway destinations faster bringing food, medicine, and supplies. When it was discovered that Horizon had monopasium-239 we offered a deal to the indigenous people of the planet; In exchange for the element they had no idea was even there we would give them education, teach them science, technology, medical achievements, agricultural knowledge, basically we would welcome them to the Federation family. A win - win situation. Then Blake shows up. In one day he managed to turn our trusted (weíre not allowed to use the term ďcolonyĒ so letís say) partner against us. Now we have no choice but to retaliate.

Donít believe Blakeís propaganda machine about 10% fatalities, inhumane working conditions, slavery, blah, blah, blah, weíre not the ones who put the ďprimitivesĒ in the mines. We offered to bring in high tech equipment but they went on and on about tradition and heritage and customs. Weíre not the bad guys here. Blake convinces a race that dresses in leaves and uses blow-darts for weapons to declare war on the most powerful force in the galaxy. And then he leaves.Congratulations Blake, you just doomed an entire race.





On a happier note, Iíve been getting tons of fan mail mainly asking two things;
1) can you have guests?
2) how about an opposing viewpoint?

Well, next time youíll get both!





This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Terrorists stage unsuccessful attack on Control




File: Pressure Point

Blake and his miscreants formed an alliance with disgraced former Federation officer Kasabi and launched a full scale attack on Control. Fortunately the Federation nerve center is the most protected facility in the galaxy and the attack was repelled with scores of rebels killed including one of Blakeís followers, ďMad dogĒ Gan. Blake managed to escape but the infamous Kasabi was captured. It has been reported that Space Commander Travis and Supreme Commander Servalan were both involved in the battle.



Now as promised I have a very special guest. Daughter of former Federation senior political officer Kasabi, Veron.




TROOPER POUTHMIECE So Veron, whatís it like being a former terrorist?

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Yes, I heard your mother died trying to escape custody after you turned her in but if itís any consolation she was a traitor.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE After Blakeís failed attempt on Control he left you behind, didnít he?

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE I hear you have been recommended for a civilian citation.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Must be rough living outside the dome. Polluted air, unsanitary conditions, impure water, diseases, to say the least. I could see how that could have an effect on someoneís mind.

VERON They killed her. They killed my mother.


TROOPER POUTHMIECE Well, Iím afraid thatís all the time we have. Thank you for appearing and congratulations on seeing the light. These nice troopers will escort you back to the hospital, Veron.



Note: If you kids notice anyone saying or doing something against the Federation, even if itís your parents, immediately notify a trooper or call the special hotline FED - 4EVER. Itís toll free. Remember, itís not just the right thing to do, itís the law.



Note: Each time you turn someone in you receive points. Build up enough points and you can win one of these lifelike Trooper Pouthmiece miniatures.




This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Space Commander Travis on trial




File: Trial

I donít like to air dirty laundry in public but the Federation is all about transparency (can Blake and his rebels say the same?). Commander Travis faced a court martial for an incident that occurred several years ago on the planet Serkasta (or was it Auros?). Travis ordered the execution of one thousand four hundred and seventeen unarmed civilians. As a trooper Iím actually on the fence with this one. No one in the Federation Armed Forces wants to disregard the Ďrules of engagementí but when you see your buddies lying dead on the ground next to you and the ones who did it in front of you... well, letís say when youíre ordered to fire it becomes easier to pull the trigger. Besides, ďOurs is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die.Ē Makes me glad Iím not an officer. Travis, was found guilty and sentenced to death (canít really get away with..I mean justify killing that many civilians). We look after ourselves.


News update ; Federation space station caught in meteor storm

At the end of Travisí trial the space station was struck by a meteor storm resulting in the deaths of several key Federation personnel such as Fleet Warden General (Star Killer) Samor, Senator Bercol, Secretary Rontane, and Major Thania (Travis defense lawyer). Damage was substantial and many are listed as missing including ex-Space Commander Travis.

On the Blake watch, after the failed attack on Control, the Liberator was tracked to an uncharted planet. Preliminary readings indicated the world is alive (surprised Blake didnít kill it).

Since fan reaction to my surprise guest last week was overwhelmingly positive (keep those letters and emails coming) Iím going to try to do it again real soon.


This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Plague warning issued for planet Fosforon




File: Killer

We received a message from our Q-base on Fosforon that Blake and his cohorts were there but by the time we arrived everyone at the base was dead from some type of virus. And naturally Blake and his crew were gone. You donít have to be an Alpha grade to add two plus two, but letís say I give Blake the benefit of the doubt that he had nothing to do with that virus. The fact is that Blake is causing the Federation to waste time, manpower, millions of credits chasing him and diverting resources that could be better used elsewhere. If we could have gotten to Fosforon sooner our doctors would have had a chance to create a vaccine and save those poor souls. But since weíre spread out so thin trying to protect innocents from Blake we were unable to anything other than sanitize the planet (in other words we nuked it).

All you rebel sympathizers out there (you know who you are) must know the truth; he canít win. You know he canít win.





This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Liberator nearly destroyed by Federation pursuit ships


Well, it was just a matter of time until Blakeís luck ran out and Federation technology proved superior. Reports say the Liberator was damaged irrevocably but managed to survive. Most likely they want the crew taken alive so they can receive a fair trial (preceding their execution).


Update: Liberator spotted near planet Exbar.



File: Hostage

When Blake goes near a planet you always check for bodies and sure enough several were found on the planetís surface and the remains (if you can call it that) in the planetís surface.

Special Update: Ex-CommanderTravis reported alive and on Exbar

Okay, Iím speculating here but I believe Blake somehow saved Travis and is holding him hostage in an attempt to brainwash him into turning to the dark side. Blakeís cousin also somehow got involved in what appears to be a love triangle with Jenna ďcutthroatĒ Stannis. Thatís some freaky crew.










This has been a disgusted trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Albian government overthrown by rebels








Today I have a special show today with a very special guest from the other side. Soldier of fortune, mercenary, rebel sympathizer, and constant pain in the Federationís arse, Del Grant.

Mr. Grant has been guaranteed safe passage and weíve both agreed to leave our firearms outside the building.



File: Countdown





TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Welcome Del, itís been a long time.

DEL GRANT: Too long, T.P.. Havenít seen you since Arcos. I still have the scars to remind me.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: So do I. If I had aimed a little higher you wouldnít be on this show today.

DEL GRANT: And if I had more ammo you wouldnít have a show.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: (Bloody pompous son of a ..)Yes, well, on to business. It appears youíve been quite busy these past months.

DEL GRANT: Doing my best to put you guys out of business.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: I see. Reports state planet Albian has a change of leadership. I hear you had a hand in that.

DEL GRANT: Yes, and quite proud of it. I organized and co-led a full scale revolution and after a pitched battle we triumphed allowing the planet to declare independence.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Less than a hundred.

DEL GRANT: Pardon?



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: There were less than One hundred Federation personnel stationed on that planet, and that included clerks, secretaries, maintenance, technicians. I wouldnít call that a pitched battle. Not even a fair fight.

DEL GRANT: I didnít stop to count heads.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: (Smug b*****d) Youíre originally from Earth, arenít you?

DEL GRANT: Yes, I am.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Yet you make a habit of taking worlds colonized by earthlings and turning them over to aliens.

DEL GRANT: I donít see it that way. I look at it as restoring a world to its people.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Oh, so youíve actually spoken to the people on every planet that youíve been paid to destabilize and thereby jeopardizing the security of Earth.

DEL GRANT: I wouldnít pass judgement, Pouthmiece, considering your Federation put a device on Albian capable of killing every single person on the planet.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: About that. According to the chatter on the rebel propaganda intranet you and one of Blakeís thugs, Kerr Avon saved the planet from some sort of doomsday device.

DEL GRANT: Yes. Thatís correct. Avon and I managed to ---



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Weíll get back to that. Word on the street was that there was bad blood between you and Kerr Avon.

DEL GRANT: Thatís personal.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Witnesses say you promised to kill Kerr Avon if you ever laid eyes upon him again.

DEL GRANT: I said itís personal.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Fair enough. Now, back to how you saved the planet.

DEL GRANT: After realizing defeat was inevitable your precious Federation activated the timer on a solium radiation device. A bomb capable of producing enough high level radiation fall out to annihilate the entire population. Avon and I managed to disarm the detonator by inserting rods into the slots. We saved the Albians.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: A bomb capable of destroying an entire planet and you and your worst enemy disarm it with a few rods. Do you honestly expect anyone to believe that bloody rubbish?

DEL GRANT: I donít give a damn what you---



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Your sister was Ana Grant, wasnít she?

DEL GRANT: She died in one of your damn Federation torture cells.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: You never saw the body, though, did you?

DEL GRANT: No, I... what are you getting at, Pouthmiece?



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: Iím afraid thatís all we have time for today. And, Grant, just let me add I think youíre a traitorous, money-grubbing, lowlife, terrorist

DEL GRANT: And I think youíre an authoritarian, brutish, jackboot, lapdog.



TROOPER POUTHMIECE: A pleasure having you, Del. Hope to see you again soon ( preferably at the business end of plasma rifle).

DEL GRANT: The pleasure was mine, T.P.










This has been trooper Pouthmiece with a special FBC show. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Governor Le Grand assassinated.





File: Voice from the Past


Donít know what to make of this steaming pile of.. (watch it, P, kids are reading this). Okay, weíve got Governor Le Grand, Arbiter General Ven Glynd, Blake, Servalan, oh, yes, and Travis also, on the planet Atlay and then a bunch of dead bodies. Based on my sources it appears rebels launched a terrorist attack on the annual meeting of the Federation Governors. They were thwarted by Federation special forces who eliminated all the terrorists but unfortunately there were casualties including Governor Le Grand and Arbiter General Ven Glynd (deepest sympathies). No Federation troopers were killed or injured (thank goodness for that). Itís believed Blake engineered the attack. Witnesses claim ex-Space Commander Travis was spotted on the scene but there has not been confirmation.









This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.





Breaking News: Travis sighted at Freedom City

Although stripped of his rank and wanted by the military police, itís believed Travis is pursuing Blake in an attempt to complete his final mission.



Official Directive: All information regarding and including the phrase ďStar OneĒ are considered classified and is to be deleted.


Donít fall for rebel fake news. Control is safely located on Earth.





File: Gambit

My sources told me Blake and his brigands touched down at Freedom City and immediately embarked on a rampage of lewdness, fighting, drunken debauchery, disorderly conduct, inflicting substantial damage on public and private property, and fleecing the local establishments out of millions of credits. All in one hour. Body count was relatively low considering this is Blake weíre talking about.

Freedom City is still legally neutral and out of our sphere of protection, however they are near the top of the Federationís Ďto do listí (just waiting for a good reason to annex it, any reason, actually).








This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Greetings to all current and soon to be Federation citizens. Trooper Pouthmiece here again with the latest Federation news.
.





Official Directive: All information regarding and including the phrase ďStar OneĒ is considered classified and is to be deleted.


Alert: Donít fall for fake news generated by anti-Federation rebels. Control is safely located on Earth.




Breaking News: Former Space Commander Travis sighted on planet Goth.


Itís believed that Travis is hunting Roj Blake in an effort to complete his only unsuccessful mission (bringing Blake to justice may not absolve him of the one thousand four hundred and seventeen civilian lives he took but itís a good start to balancing the scales).



File: The Keeper

Although considered friendly, Goth is not part of the Federation (meaning they have absolutely nothing useful to offer) so information is sketchy but reports indicate that Blake and his hoodlums landed on the peaceful planet and immediately stuck their noses in its business. Though they were welcomed by the population, Jenna seduced, then later poisoned the reigning king while Blake and Vila led a revolt against the rightful government in an attempt to take control of the planet. Being an archaic civilization their warriors were no match for alien weaponry and were slaughtered mercilessly. Fortunately, Travis managed to call in pursuit ships (once Federation, always Federation) and after a fierce battle they successfully drove Blakeís ship the Liberator away from the planet and out of the system. Unfortunately Goth was left destabilized and in total chaos.





This has been trooper Pouthmiece. Fed Trooper
From strength to unity.
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 12:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote







We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You This Very Important Public Service Announcement;




Attention: Due to irregular sunspots affecting navigational satellites and electrical systems all off Earth trips are experiencing delays. We thank you for your patience.



This has been a notice from the Federation Emergency Broadcast System.

From strength to unity. Fed Symbol
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote







We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You This Very Important Public Service Announcement;


Update: Due to irregular sunspots affecting navigational satellites and electrical systems all off Earth trips have been cancelled. We thank you for your patience.

Attention All Federation planets: Due to cosmic phenomenon affecting computer control certain planets may be experiencing drastic changes in climate conditions. All inter-planetary travel is cancelled. Citizens are urged to seek shelter and follow instructions of Federation personnel.

Military craft are on Yellow - 3 alert.

This has been a notice from the Federation Emergency Broadcast System.

From strength to unity. Fed Symbol
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
Posts: 1360
Location: Kaldor City

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote






ALERT: WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. AS OF 0700 HOURS, EARTH STANDARD TIME, ALL FEDERATION PLANETS AND TERRITORIES ARE UNDER MARTIAL LAW.

REPEAT: AS OF 0700 HOURS, EARTH STANDARD TIME, ALL FEDERATION PLANETS AND TERRITORIES ARE UNDER MARTIAL LAW. PLEASE FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS OF LOCAL FEDERATION AUTHORITIES. THIS MESSAGE WILL BE REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE DAY. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

THIS HAS BEEN A NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.




From strength to unity. Fed Symbol









File: Star One
Status; Open




Your attention. All Federation territories are under Martial law including this forum. For those expecting trooper Pouthmiece Iíve been ordered to inform you that Trooper Pouthmiece and others have been taken for questioning to determine where their loyalties lie. Iím section leader Klegg and as ordered I will be assuming command of this thread for the duration. The President and members of the Council have been detained and placed under military protection during this emergency. All Federation citizens are to follow instructions of Federation personnel. You will stand by for further orders.





By Servalanís command
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote






ALERT: WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THIS VERY IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. ALIEN SPACECRAFT HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN FEDERATION SPACE. RED ONE MOBILIZATION IS INITIATED.

REPEAT: ALIEN SPACECRAFT HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN FEDERATION SPACE. RED ONE MOBILIZATION IS INITIATED. THIS MESSAGE WILL BE REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE DAY. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

THIS HAS BEEN A NOTICE FROM THE FEDERATION EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.




From strength to unity. Fed Symbol









File: Star One
Status; Open



Your attention. We are at Red One mobilization. All Federation reserves report to your designated assignments. All Federation citizens between the ages of twenty one and thirty one report to the nearest Federation recruitment center. Everyone reading this thread is to standby for further orders. Aliens from the Andromeda galaxy have trespassed into Federation space which means as of now...we are at war.


Section Leader Klegg, out.




.

By Servalanís command
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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thunda



Joined: 27 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



File: Star One
Status; Open



Your attention. Red One mobilization is still in effect. All Federation reserves and recent retirees are to report to their designated assignments. All Federation citizens between the ages of eighteen and thirty five are to report to the nearest Federation recruitment center. Just so weíre clear, this thread is still under Martial law, meaning technically everyone reading it is under Federation jurisdiction and obligated to follow the above orders. The sooner you comply the sooner I can rejoin my unit and get in on the action. On the war front, the battle is going well. Federation forces have engaged the enemy fleet and inflicted heavy loses with only minimal casualties. Reports establish that Blake and the Liberator sabotaged our galactic defense grid and are leading the alien armada. More reports to follow.




Section Leader Klegg, out.




.

By Servalanís command
_________________
"Women, food, and inflicting pain -- in no particular order."
- The Fifth Legion
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