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SEPTEMBER
2000
Hee Hee!
This one made us giggle the most!
Avon: "That
wig does nothing for you, Gan."
 by K. M. Wilcox
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Here are
the rest of the entries:
Avon: "Blake
I want you to stop staring at my ass all the time!"
by Bayban the Baker
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i told you i'm
not sharing my duty free toblerone
by johnny woof
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All right guys!
My ACME gas analyzer will tell me without a doubt which one of you
clowns keeps cutting the cheese!
by --GM--
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Blake(in a wisper)
hey Vila, does that make his butt look big?
by Lechar
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Vila--Do you
know your standing on my foot?
Avon--you hum it and I`ll play it
by Shaza
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AVON: I wonder
if we can get jazz FM on this bad boy!
by Al Henderson
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Avon- Now where
do we plug this charger in?
Jenna-If thats the charger, how big is the phone?
by shaza
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AVON: YES,WITH
THIS SOMNAMBULATOR I HAVE A REMEDY FOR BLAKES SLEEPLESSNESS... HE
WILL SLEEP WHENEVER I PRESS THIS BUTTON!
VILLA: YOU'RE RIGHT,HE'S COMPLETELY GONE... WOO-HOO!! BLAKE!!HA,QUICK,SHAVE
HIS EYEBROWS!!
by DEAN SHAKESPEARE
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Avon: Yes Jenna,
this is MY electric toy organ....and stop sniggering behind me Blake,
I can hear you !
by Jo
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(vila,blake,Avon)I
stole this here box from Ms. Callahan's class, I can't resemble
whats in it but i beleive theres enough to feed a small army for
a light year.
by madison friends
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A pound of lead
is heavier than a pound of feathers.
by Don
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This is all
I have sense the wife kicked me out.
Hey can I have me box of stuff back.
by Peter
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AVON: It has
come to thought that i have invented a new computer that will simplify
the toilet. It flushes, deodoreizes, and unclogs the toilet, which
I know that one of you has a problem with
BLAKE: looking down and feeling embarassed blames vila.
VILLA:(blushing) I swear, it was orac's fault, he uses to much toilet
paper!
ORAC:I do not not use toilet paper.
by Don
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Well sorry Jenna,
but now we've got a drum machine we're starting a boy band.
by John Harrison
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Can some one
program this VCR for me.
I want to watch Bambi
by Peter
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Hey I finally
fond the stereo who whats to listin to some toons!!!!!!
by Peter
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Avon-"I
have ordered these three new neutron blasters and none of them seem
to work.
I will have to go down and ask for replacements
Teleport now!
by Don
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Gena: What are
you...hey, Isn't that the box Cally keeps her pet moon disc in?
Avon: What pet moon disk?
Gena: The pet moon disc that cally asked you to watch for her while
she was gone.
Vila: We were...ummmm-
Avon(interrupting vila) It was all vilas fault! He forgot to feed
it and take- take care of it and-and-and I don't think your buying
this at all...
by Lechar
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Jenna: "No
you don't you three perverts! I know what you have hidden in that
box... hand it over!"
Avon is shocked to find that their "secret" stash of porn
videos were not as secret as they thought.
Villa: "There goes the Friday-night entertainment"
Blake: "Ohhhhhh Noooooooo!" (closes eyes in shame)
by Mat
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Okay, I've entered
all one million and three captions in this computer and all I have
to do to determine the winner is press this button...No, wait----It
was this button..um..
by goatman
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Avon: We now
pay tribute to Gan who we had cremated. His cremated ashes testify
the fact that he was a big man since we had to find a big box.
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: I plan
to hit Gan over the head with this thing to stop him from snoring.
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: Transport
Zens voice box of this ship immediately. He keeps waking us up.
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: "who's
for an After Eight?"
by Gina
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Avon: "With
this, I'll be able to infiltrate the Federation net, and is Blake
writing stuff on my back - again?"
by K. M. Wilcox
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Avon: "This
'toy', Jenna, is a Rebel Alliance Troop Transport, circa 1982. Mint
in the box, it was worth 25,000 credits. Now, it's junk."
by K. M. Wilcox
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(and would you
please stop calling me a faggot!)
by ---GM----
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Cigars...cigarettes....
by goatman
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No it isn't!
The VIC 20 is never obsolete!
by goatman
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It's Travis's
birthday and we've clubbed together to buy him a new eye. At least
it should see him through the week!
by John Harrison
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....And all
because the lady loves Milk Tray.
by John Harrison
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Jenna: What's
that?
Avon: Well I believe that who ever made liberator also created a
interesting version of an inflatable doll. It has five different
speeds. Blake and Villa tried it on speed three and look at them,
they are completely knackered! If you want a shot you'll have to
get in line.
by Luke Sutton
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Jenna: What's
that?
Avon: You ever wondered how Liberator gets rid of its waste. Well
now you know!
by Luke Sutton
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Jenna: What
happened?
Avon: While we were in combat with one of the new federations spaceships
called the Vibrator. Liberator suddenly got too excited and this
popped out of one it's Jefferies tube. It was quite disgusting really!
by Luke Sutton
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Orac is taliking
the day off so we have to use sorek 9 to get info, he is quite interesting
as a box.
by Don
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We couldn't
find anything cool for the set, so we used this here box and spray
painted it.
by Don
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"And as
you can see it is an ordinary box..."
Blake groans as Avon begins to demonstrate his latest magic trick.
by Spidey
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Hey, cool arcade
game!! Where do you put the quarter??
by Sarajane
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Jenna: Ok Avon,
let's see you explain this one away....what are you doing with my
sex aid??
Avon: Errr.....
by Darkside
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Avon: Vila -
look gormless. Blake - shut your eyes. I'll hold this grey box and
look like I'm saying something patronising to Jenna. This way, we
are SURE so make the September caption competition photo.
by emzi restalez
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It's my new
drum machine Jenna. Only - don't let Vila play with it. It's bad
enough that he looks like Phil Collins, we don't want him sounding
like him as well..
by emzi restalez
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Don't be so
smug! I really CAN play the harmonica!
by goatman
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Once again,
Avon is called upon to show the crew how to program the Liberator's
VCR.
by Elusive Lisa
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no I am not
teaching you how to use the latest Vodafone, phone jenna and besides
I haven't got any credit on it.
by tarrant2000
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Avon: This the
Black box from that federation concord space ship. Trying to see
why it set up into flames
by Tarranat2000
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Avon: Well,
thats the last time I ask for an N-64 for my birthday!
by Ray Arrell
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Gena: What on
Earth are you doing in my room!? Avon: We were...um... just... we
wern't going to steal your pokemen stash and sell it to Servalan,
honest!
by Lechar
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Avon: "Ah
Jenna, we er... we just came in your room to borrow your tape recorder!"
Jenna: "Then why are you wearing my knickers Avon?" Avon:
"Er..."
by Tainted Travis
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"No, you
can't play with us Jenna. You're a girl!" Joining Avon's "Kool
Kagoul" gang was not easy on the Liberator.
by Tainted Travis
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Avon: Yes with
this editing machine not only do I plan to get rid of Servalan,
but I also plan to give myself some bigger credits. Jenna would
you also like to co-star in my movie?
by Luke Sutton
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I found this
in one of the rooms at the back of the ship. I believe that it is
the proof that I've been looking for. I believe that not everything
on this ship is cardboard!
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: How many
times Jenna must I tell you never to put Orac in the transporter?
It really screws him up!
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: the energies
contained in this box are incredibly
dangerous - they made Vila and Blake go all mellow and sleepy
for a start, as you can see!
by Roderick
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Vila - "Careful
Cally, Avons got his gadget and hes not afraid to use it"
Avon - "trust me, its loaded and it works."
by Minnie
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Vila, blake
and I would like to play connect four so if you don't mind please
move YOUR Game so we can play.
by Don
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Anyone for Quality
Street?
by Steve
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BLAKE:He still
hasn't realised iv'e just gave him a wedgie
by ILikeSpaceGoats
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Avon: Now this
is a neutron generator for the main blasters.
Blake:But we didn't need one.
Avon: when you live on the dark side of the planet, it doesn't matter
what we have.
Cally:what doess that have to do with it?
Avon: nothing
by Don
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The pizza delivery
man looked strangely familiar as he demanded 5 million credits for
their 'Crispy Deep-Pan Pepperoni Deluxe'...
by Phaedrus
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I know you're
looking at my bum Blake. Now stop it.
Avon's new panoramavision gadget was going to spoil all the crew's
fun.
by emmapeel
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Well of course
it's a big shoebox. Just wait 'till you see the new boots! You'll
never want to hold hands with Blake again.
by emmapeel
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Avon "Hey
comeo on guys its a Tb303 synth classic! its sounds really retro,
listen" <avon hits start button and tried to dance> "come
on dance!"
by Paul Maddox
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Avon: It looks
like Servalan is up to her old tricks again. Super glue on a cardboard
box!
by Luke Sutton
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Avon: Yes, I
bought it for 100,000 credits from an old friend at Federation Computer
HQ. It's a top-loading catridge model, with dual control, more powerful
than Orac, with a billion megabytes of power.I don't yet know it's
full workings and capabilities all I know is that it's name is....Atari.
by emzi restalez
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Avon: What is
the world coming to when a classicaly trained actor is forced to
apear in a cheap, run down programme such as this. I mean look at
theis prop! It's a cardboard box with lights! I went to Oxford you
know! I want more from life!
Blake: Be quiet Avon, and and hand me the decoder.
by Ewan
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Avon: The props
just get cheaper and cheaper don't they.
by Ewan
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Avon: Don't
move! I have a long carbord box that is meant to be a weapon of
some sort and I'm not afraid to use it!
by Ewan
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Avon: Are you
sure this what i ordered Jenna, this sandwich looks a bit srange
to me!
by Gina
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Avon: Jenna,
help! Vila and Blake are after my cookies!
by Roderick
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I've got your
new wig in here, Jenna. Made out of the finest
dead badger hair. I've got a lid on the box coz it stinks a
bit.
by Roderick
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Avon: Albatross!
Albatross!
Jenna: What, no ice-creams? No wafers, popcorn? Drinks?
Avon: No, only got the albatross (very small ones,
actually).
Jenna: Some cinema this is!
Avon: Look, do you want one or not?
by Roderick
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That's a big
organ Avon.. can I play with it?
No, Jenna. I'm not in the Moog.
by emmapeel
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Jenna catches
Avon stealing her electric hair curlers and sends for the lads to
sort him out.
by Mistress Tufty
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