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OCTOBER 2000

Caption Competition picture of the month

Hee Hee - liked this one!

Sorry, I didn't mean to pee on you, I thought you were a statue

by Steve R

Here are the rest of the entries:


if only vivian westwood could see you guys now

by johnny woof

Vila: Thanks to the caption competition. I've been standing here for well over a month and have been saying all sorts of cheeky things. That I shouldn't really be saying to two federation guards that have blank expressionless faces while they both carry scary guns. And yet I still smile away. Why? Half because i'm Vila and half because i keep getting myself into the strangest predicuments.

by Luke Sutton

Vila: What do you mean i've put too much aftershave on? I'm telling you the women like it this way.

by Luke Sutton

Vila: So you are the two that are defecting from Servalans methane factory.

by Luke Sutton

Villa "It`s just not worth buying cheap razors is it !!!"
Guard "Watch it shorty"

by Magic pebble

VILA: I'M TOO SEXY FOR A GAS MASK. TOO SEXY FOR A GAS MASK. SO SEXY IT HURTS. I'M A MODEL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I DO MY LITTLE TURN ON THE CATWALK. YEAH ON THE CATWALK. YEAH I DO MY LITTLE TURN ON THE CATWALK.
( THE GUARDS ARE BOTH SHOCKED AND RELIEVED THAT THEY ARE WEARING A GAS MASK )

by LUKE SUTTON

VILA: I'M TOO SEXY FOR A GAS MASK. TOO SEXY FOR A GAS MASK. SO SEXY IT HURTS.

by LUKE SUTTON

VILA: I'M TELLING YOU. SPACE MART HAS THESE BRIGHT RED LARGE COLLARED TOPS GOING FOR HALF PRICE

by LUKE SUTTON

VILA: SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU TRACKED ME DOWN BECAUSE YOU HEARD THAT I WAS A LOCK PICKER AND YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU OUT OF THOSE SUITS.

by LUKE SUTTON

VILA: NOW I WANT YOU TWO TO JUMP OUT OF AVONS BIRTHDAY CAKE WHEN HE GOES TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES. WE'LL GIVE HIM A SURPRISE HE WILL NEVER FORGET.

by LUKE SUTTON

Life`s cruel for ex federation troopers....
Villa "I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon !"
Guard 1 "We`re auditioning for `Blind Date`.
Guard 2 "Yeah , we hear she`s a real femme fatale , so we thought we`d better dress to kill !"
Villa.....Think I`ll stick to Punch and Judy.

by Magic pebble

Vila : "Hey now, I know its raining and we're flooded, but arent you guys takeing the waterproofs a bit too far?"

by Paul Maddox

I know I have bad hygene but really.

by peter

Vila:"I KNOW THE TOILET'S FLOODED, HAVEN'T YOU FOUND A BETTER SOLUTION THAN USING A PLUNGER!!! Take my advice, when gan has used the bathroom, it takes a jack hammer!!!

by Don

Vila: What happens when you sit on a federation guard's chest?
Guard(rolling eyes): I have no idea,what is the answer?
Vila: You give him a guard attack! Ha ha ha. Get it, Heart attack, guard attack....WHAT?

by Lechar

Vila: Hey you guys, want to watch me light me bum farts! Guard: Is there somthing wrong with you!? Vila: I have a stressful job.

by Lechar

Villa: Hey guys, wanna see pictures of Servalan lighting her bum gas?

by izystilldead

Villa: I say old chaps, do either one of you havea tube of Preperation H, Me bum itches!!!

by izzystilldead

Vila: Hey, you stupid guaurds, holloween is over!

by Lechar

VILA: so let me get this right, I can get to the main reactor by turning left at the traffic lights and then taking the first right, cheers

by Al Henderson

Hey, I'm sure your helmets end up in an episode of "Doctor Who" (Frontios) in about 5 years time.

by Dave Jones

Vila: Have you found that skunk yet?
Fed Guard: Nope!

by Luke Sutton

Vila: Have you found that skunk yet?

by Luke Sutton

Those are the worst Darth Vader costumes I have EVER
seen!

by Roderick

Vila: Whaaaaaaaaaaat's uuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!

by An Avon Angel

What do you mean I need to have a mask for servalans halloween bash, can't you see, i am dressed up as vila restal!!!

by Don (all for Avon!!!)

Vila: "You may have spotted me eating that garlic before, but I think you're going over the top with the gas masks!"

by Bayban the Baker

Vila: Don't you hate it when someone else decides to wear exactly the same thing that you are wearing. I don't seem to have that problem though.

by Luke Sutton

VILA: Whaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzz up?

by Al Henderson

VILA: sorry someones sitting there mate

by Al Henderson

Vila:Excuse me, is this Butlins?, only I`m the new red coat and i`ve seem to have lost my way

by shaza

is that the new fasion or are you from wales

by anthony case

Vila: "S'cuse me, I hate to bother you, but - I'm REALLY sorry - but you're standing on my foot you see, and........ Oh, I see, er - look, don't worry about it! I'm quite comfy like this really...."

by Claire

Vila: Knock knock
Fed Guards: (sigh) who's there?
vila: Fed Guards
Fed Guards: Fed Guards who?
Vila: Fed guard sake, smile you misterable mingers!!
(bang)

by Royal ER

Vila: Knock knock !!

by Royal ER

Vila: And then the daddy bear said whos been sleeping in my bed....

by Ted

Villa: So let me get this straight, you both come from the same mother?

by Luke Sutton

Villa: What do you mean that your ashamed of your six dollar hair cut? I'm not!

by Luke Sutton

Villa: Look at this funny face.
( The guards try desperately not to laugh knowing that the queen Elizabeth would fire them.)

by Luke Sutton

VILA: Ahhhh, so that what GIMPS look like! I guess the lump is the ball-gag?
GUARD: hmmppphhh
VILA: thought so..

by Paul Maddox

Villa: So let me get this straight. The green head band means you are a siamese twin?

by Luke Sutton

Villa: I'm a little teapot short and stout.
( The federation guards are shocked as they get a close up view of their enemy! )

by Luke Sutton

Villa: Have you heard this one, why did the federation guard cross the road?

by Luke Sutton

Guard: How come your so happy?
Vila: I just farted.

by Lechar

Vila stares at the guards for a moment and smiles knowing that he just performed the silent but deadly one cheak sneek.

by Izzy

Vila stares at the federation guards for a moment....

Vila: Wow, i thought i was bad looking!

by Lechar

Vila: Ok fellows, you can take your maskes off now, i farted over half an hour ago!

by Izzy

Vila: Those are the worst holloween costumes I've ever seen.

by Izzy

welcome to the federations largest methane recycling plant

by by ms american pie

Villa: That's brilliant Blake steal one of the uniforms and dress up as a federation guard and then we can just walk straight in this power plant. Blake? Blake that is you isn't it?

by Luke Sutton

Villa: I was wondering if one of you two gentleman could help me? I seem to have my you know, stuck in my zipper.

by Luke Sutton

Villa: Are you two clones?

by Luke Sutton

Vila: hello, do you now where the bathroom is, I REALY HAVE TO GO!!!!!

by My name is stoopid

Vila: Now I know you haven't heard this one - two Federation Troopers walk into a bar....

by Skyline

vila: Now once upon a time in a galaxy far far away...Oh so you've heard it!

by Skyline

Vila: And then I said...
Guard(wispering to other guard): Dear god I cant stand these bloddy tourists anymore.

by Lechar

Vila: Would you chaps mind helping me out a bit. You see, my Mum tould me if kept making this face it would freeze... and umm, it did.

by Lechar

Vila: Why Yes, the jumper did come from Woolworths - how did you guess ?

by Skyline

You're smoking in there, aren't you?

by *-*

"Not exactly Armani, is it?"

"Look who's talking, Baldy."

by Phaedrus

Can you help me get this annoying look off my face - I pulled it in the last caption comepetition, then the wind changed direction.

by Vila

I couldn't help but notice that green band on your head - I saw one very similar to that on Kung Fu last night.

by Vila

Hi, Do you need any Star Wars figures - I got several stormtroopers in my bag here you might want.

by Vila

You know - you look just like my Auntie - except you have more hair.

by Vila

He he he...sory, that one was me.

by Lechar

So I have to where this mask because ther is something called the Cold war going on.

by Peter

Vila: "...so I just go straight on, turn left, right, right again and then left..."

by Ewan

Villa: With this bright red and large collared top, how ever did you find me?

by Luke Sutton

Villa: You guys haven't seen Jabba the hut anywhere have you?

by Luke Sutton

Villa: I'll count to ten and you hide.

by Luke Sutton

Villa: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't really be my father.

by Luke Sutton

Villa: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you can't be my father.

by Luke Sutton

hey, did you know I do impressions? this ones a puppet with a hand up it's bum!

by Nixxie da Pixxie

HERE COMES CALLAZILLA!

by Don

Who's vila, I don't see know stinking vila, no one but me Avon

by Don

'Hello, I'm a Jahova's Witness....'

by Anon

What chemical agent? You're joking aren't you? Well, alright! I'll get my mask, but I don't smell anything!

by DooDoo

Sorry, I didn't mean to pee on you, I thought you were a statue

by Steve R

'...So I told him, "Avon, either you start treating me with some respect or I'll jab my lock pick in your eye."'

by Michael Heumann

Vila trip to madam tusards turned into a disarster when he thought the guards were made of wax!

by G-GEE

You want to forget that Gary Numan look.
Get down to Millett's, they've got a sale on, this kagoul only cost me 3 credits.

by John Harrison

Go on, do your Darth Vader impression.

by John Harrison

Hi, I'm a smiley git from some annoying kids Television programme, can I come in and interview Servalan ?

by Doogie

Yes, it is Hi Karate....

by emma

Is this the queue for the garden gnome auditions?

by emma

Hey, have you seen a gold plated watch,i must have left it here somewhere.

by Don

VILA: is that a neutron blaster in your pocket or are yoou just glad to see me?

by Al Henderson

Excuse me.... may I just distract you both for a brief second.....

by Mistress Tufty

 

Untitled Document

View the Results from the following months

June 2000

July 2000

August 2000


September 2000

October 2000

November 2000


December 2000

January 2001

February 2001

March 2001

April 2001

May 2001

June 2001

July 2001

August 2001

September 2001

November 2001

December 2001

January 2002

 

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