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March Competition

Caption Competition picture of the month

This one is good - you can just imagine Avon coming out with the sarcasm, whilst looking straight ahead as he does many times in the series.

AVON: So when is Bruce Lee gonna show up then?

by Alex Henderson

zen..confirmed confirmed confirmed confirmed confirmed........
avon.. will sombody please switch zen off, im trying to concentrate...AGGHHHHHHH

by evil imp not going to do not going to do it.....oh sod it.
avon...ooh saucy!

by evil imp

Avon: When I said we would fly by the seat of our pants I didn't mean you had to take them off

by Hazel

I'm sorry about my high-pitched voice. In Star Trek I was grabbed by the Klingons!

by Wendy Cleave

Dam I have forgotten my lines AGAIN!

by janette

Orac: Zen is nothing compared to me
Avon: You are not at all modest
Blake: Orac is right you know
Avon: Yes but Orac can be turned off [Avon takes Oracs on/off switch andtosses it aside]
Vila: [to blake] Cant we do that to Avon

by Mark

Avon: Shhhhhhhhhhh
Blake: Orac must know where Vilas brain is by now!
Avon: Even the most sophisticated computer needs
a moment with a query like this
Vila: Uhh

by Birrd

avon-iwear black,you wear black,i wear white and blow me if you all don't follow in my plasma trail

by bran

Vila: Avon, you know I don't like that!
Blake: He's right, Avon. It isn't productive to get Orac to do anal probes while operating teleport controls.

by Whovian

The 3 men cursed themselves and each other for their predicament.
They knew now it was a stupid idea to use
hand-to-hand combat to decide who would be the captain of the Liberator.
In a few minutes super heavyweight "Sumo-Gan" would be making all the decisions.
This was a scary thought for all.

by Matt

Vila: Blake, what is that disgusting gurgling noise coming from under the bench?
Blake: you have Cally hiding under under Oracs table again?

by Matt

avon; BUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP.....pardon me....

by evil imp

Blake: Give me the remote.
Avon: No.
Blake: I said give me the remote!.
Avon: No bloody way! What makes you think I'm going to let you have the remote. I't my turn to pick what we watch!
Villa: This is rediculouse...
Blake: I'm the bloody capton on this ship!!!! Now give me the bloody remote!!!!
Avon (calmy): Never...

by Ivana Tinkle

Avon: Brothers, sisters, and others. We are gathered here today to pay our final respects to Orac. I'm sure all of you would be of the opinion that he was the finest, most dedicated, and most treasured companion we ever had the honour to work with aboard the Liberator, and you would all agree that we shall miss his jovial presence, his charm, his humour, his eagerness to laugh... Me? I say rubbish. Good riddance to the freeloading bolt-bucket!

by Martin

Michael Heseltine, Leon Britten and William Hague prepare to address the Tory Party Conference in the heatwave of 1977.

by Martin

blake; so we are all agreed then, we are going to kill vila.
zen; confimed
vila; WHAT??

by evil imp

avon; MY GOD...MY EYES!!!!!
blake; damn you vila, put it away!
vila; but i just wanted you to see these weird spots before i go to the doctors.

by evil imp

Blake: [Whispers] He's not looking well since he crashed that car in Casualty...
Vila: I heard that!

by Martin

Vila: Why are we all wearing white overcoats?
Avon: In preperation for our future roles in 'Casualty'.

by Royal ER

Avon: I am going to become a woman. You may call me Mandy from now on.

by Royal ER

Avon: [Yorkshire accent] Ah've just plopped me pants.

by Martin

Vila watched intensley, waiting for Avon's response to Blake's request

by Steve R

Not knowing what day it was, the crew of the Liberator drifted through space in an endless spin which caused the crew to experience fits of stomping, hair loss, uncontrollable farting and a deep passion for Slim Whitman records.

by Yolanda Squatpump

Avon talking to Blake: Dear God man, we've been doing this for two hours. The red button stops the ship and the green button makes the ship go, got it!
Blake: Huh?

by The One Legged Midget

Villa: I know their talking about me. It's just a matter of time before they find out I put Exlax in tonights dinner.

by Friends of the Pigmy Cowboy

avon ; the instuctins say pull knob to reboot and ive been doing that for about 4 hours my wrist herts like hell
villa ; you stupid sod

by baz_tard

Orac: I must protest! This is a gross waste of my resources.
Avon: Just tell us Orac!
Orac: Very well then it was Roj Blake that farted.

by lucasgd

Perhaps, just a bit too much bleach..

by 99

Avon: {Sings} I am what I aaaamm...

by Martin

We are the new Beegee's tribute - Hah Hah Hah Hah staying alive, staying alive

by C Fudge

Don`t You think we`re a bit old to form a "Boy Band"?

by Tyler

Did I leave the iron on?

by moonface

the gang prepare for a picnic!!

by master of cheese

Avon:"I know you take the resistance seriously Blake, but do really think this Karate course is necessary?"

by Russell Fordred

Vila: Where exactly did you teleport Tarrent to? Blake: Yes, you gave the rest of us falty teleport bracelets, and we didn't go with him? Avon (Calmly): I sent him to a gay bar. Vila: Why did you do that!? Avon: He got mouthy.

by My nose is on strike, so I pickit.

Vila: Will you two stop singing "They're comming to take me away haha" Its makeing me very nervous. oh and why did you make me put on this jacket with long sleeves and and no zip at the front?

by Paul Maddox

Blake:- Sorry Avon, you won't bend that spoon like Uri...
Vila:- Boys and their toys. Tck

by James

Vila: Well do you think we will pass as the Bee Gees?

by Shaza

Yes.....We are more than good friends!!!

by paul

Blake: What game shall we play next?
Avon: How about a "Who-can-pee-the-highest-up-Orac?" contest. I'll go first...

by Martin

avon; hey, where are the keys to my porsche?.
vila; heh heh heh, the perfect crime, now to burn some space rubber.........

by evil imp

avon; hey, this hole in ORAC is just big enough for me to fit my kno.....
blake; avon!, this is a family show.

by evil imp

"I'm the idiot? At least I didn't star in Timelash!"

by Nick Zbu

Avon: Feeeeeee-lingssss! Nothing else but feeeeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeee-lingsssss!
Orac: Oh yes, catch that mellow rhythm, baby!

by Martin

Avon: I know this is not exactly the perfect moment to bring this up...but I think we should shove Vila in an air lock.
Blake: ....

by Pug-lover

Avon: I'll figure this out yet...
Vila: What's his problem?
Blake: He can't figure out how to get the clock on the VCR to stop blinking.
Avon: ...Bloody Technology!!!!

by Lechar

Blake: Look Avon, if you can't figure out how to use the Telly remote than let Orac do it. Avon: Shut up blake, I can figure this out!!!
Orac: <pause> No you can't...

by Richard Breath

Avon: Damn this ancient 20th century technology - why is it you can never get a remote control that works. Now which one of these buttons is play?

by Dungeon Master

The others cringed as Avon began to tell his old joke about Servalan, the bounty hunter and the banana.
They had heard it many... many times before

by Matt

Okay Tom, the stage lights are set. Now it starts like this, "It's not unusual to be anyone."

by The Worm

So You Can't Remeber How Drunk You Were?

by Timothy John Cook

Avon: since my hair is identical to the background if you squint i look like i have a really bumpy deformed head!

by cik

..and in the year 1970 the popularity of the Moonies already reached far beyond basingstoke..

by Al

Blake: Hey, has anyone seen these markings on Orac before? Avon, your opinion?
Avon: It's in Braille. Hang on, I'll translate... "This... device... is... a... novelty... item... All rights reserved. Made... in... Taiwan..."

by Martin

There was a moment of silence on the Liberator flightdeck after Orac announced that he had a vibrate function.

by Slartibartfast

Villa: OK, which one one of you cut the cheese?
Blake: Avon......?
Avon: It was ORAC I tell you. IT WAS ORAC!!!!

by Matt

Avon: Blake I have asked you before, Please do not go pee pees on the flight deck!!!

by Matt

Blake:(sexy voice) So, Avon, would you like to come back to my cabin.....

Avon: Villa! I told you NOT to give Blake the keys to the medical supplies again!!!

by Matt

Blake and Avon promised not to look whilst Vila adjusted his codpiece.

by Avon

AVON: Of course I can turn on ORAC without looking, Blake! I just press... right here... Damn!
BLAKE: Missed again?

by Terri

Clothes like these, they make you feel like the president of the universe

by cik

Vila "I don`t know Avon , it calls itself a super computer , we have to go out and buy our own package to get Sky Digital"
Orac "May I remind you , decoding quiz shows is not the purpose for which I was built"
Avon "You are the weakest link Orac"

by Magic Pebble

Avon: Um, could someone help me please? I think I've just nailed my finger to Orac's casing.

by Martin

Vila: Hey! Who cut my arm off?!?
Blake: [Suspiciously] Avon...?
Avon: [Innocently] Moi?

by Martin

Blake: Is this the audition for the part of Shelley in Blackadder?

by Martin

Go away Vila, there can be only 2 pet shop boys

by cik

BLAKE: This is the self-defense class right?

by Alex Henderson

Blake you *git*. You knew I was coming to the party as 'Hopkirk Deceased.' Now sod off and find your own costume idea.

by emma d'avon

Blake:I'm sorry Avon... I didn't mean to burn your favourite outfit.
Vila: Blake! How could you?

by the fan

Vila catches part of the conversation and isn't pleased.

Blake: He can't help it... he doesn't even relise...
Avon: Don't lecture me Blake! I will tolerate the stench no longer. If he doesn't leave I shall!

by the fan

Avon: I don't believe it Blake you tart - you've been in my wardrobe again and stealing my shirts!

by Avon

Vila: Hey, what's happened to Avon?
Blake: I don't know, it looks like he's been frozen in time. It must have been that belt of ionized particles we've just flown through! Quick, Vila, this is an emergen-...
Avon: Ah-CHOO! Sorry, were you saying something?

by Martin

Vila: Hey, this is terrible, there's no fighting or weapons in this picture. We can't do any "Hey! It's X! Kill 'im!!" gags this month.
Avon: Calm down. At least we managed to do a "Stop feeling my bum" caption.

by Martin

Avon: Blake, stop feeling my bum, please.

by Martin

Avon: The Bay-City Rollers are back, I'm telling you.
Zen: Confirmed. Oh yeah. Break it down.

by Martin
Untitled Document

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June 2000

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