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March
Competition
This one
is good - you can just imagine Avon coming out with the sarcasm, whilst
looking straight ahead as he does many times in the series.
AVON: So
when is Bruce Lee gonna show up then?
 by Alex Henderson
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zen..confirmed
confirmed confirmed confirmed confirmed........
avon.. will sombody please switch zen off, im trying to concentrate...AGGHHHHHHH
by evil imp
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blake....im
not going to do it...im not going to do it.....oh sod it.
avon...ooh saucy!
by evil imp
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Avon: When
I said we would fly by the seat of our pants I didn't mean you
had to take them off
by Hazel
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I'm sorry
about my high-pitched voice. In Star Trek I was grabbed by the
Klingons!
by Wendy Cleave
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Dam I have
forgotten my lines AGAIN!
by janette
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Orac: Zen
is nothing compared to me
Avon: You are not at all modest
Blake: Orac is right you know
Avon: Yes but Orac can be turned off [Avon takes Oracs on/off
switch andtosses it aside]
Vila: [to blake] Cant we do that to Avon
by Mark
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Avon: Shhhhhhhhhhh
Blake: Orac must know where Vilas brain is by now!
Avon: Even the most sophisticated computer needs
a moment with a query like this
Vila: Uhh
by Birrd
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avon-iwear
black,you wear black,i wear white and blow me if you all don't
follow in my plasma trail
by bran
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Vila: Avon,
you know I don't like that!
Blake: He's right, Avon. It isn't productive to get Orac to
do anal probes while operating teleport controls.
by Whovian
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The 3 men
cursed themselves and each other for their predicament.
They knew now it was a stupid idea to use
hand-to-hand combat to decide who would be the captain of the
Liberator.
In a few minutes super heavyweight "Sumo-Gan" would
be making all the decisions.
This was a scary thought for all.
by Matt
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Vila: Blake,
what is that disgusting gurgling noise coming from under the
bench?
Blake: Avon.....do you have Cally hiding under under Oracs table
again?
Avon:(embarrassed)..............maybe.
by Matt
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avon; BUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP.....pardon
me....
by evil imp
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Blake: Give
me the remote.
Avon: No.
Blake: I said give me the remote!.
Avon: No bloody way! What makes you think I'm going to let you
have the remote. I't my turn to pick what we watch!
Villa: This is rediculouse...
Blake: I'm the bloody capton on this ship!!!! Now give me the
bloody remote!!!!
Avon (calmy): Never...
by Ivana Tinkle
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Avon: Brothers,
sisters, and others. We are gathered here today to pay our final
respects to Orac. I'm sure all of you would be of the opinion
that he was the finest, most dedicated, and most treasured companion
we ever had the honour to work with aboard the Liberator, and
you would all agree that we shall miss his jovial presence,
his charm, his humour, his eagerness to laugh... Me? I say rubbish.
Good riddance to the freeloading bolt-bucket!
by Martin
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Michael
Heseltine, Leon Britten and William Hague prepare to address
the Tory Party Conference in the heatwave of 1977.
by Martin
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blake; so
we are all agreed then, we are going to kill vila.
zen; confimed
vila; WHAT??
by evil imp
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avon; MY
GOD...MY EYES!!!!!
blake; damn you vila, put it away!
vila; but i just wanted you to see these weird spots before
i go to the doctors.
by evil imp
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Blake: [Whispers]
He's not looking well since he crashed that car in Casualty...
Vila: I heard that!
by Martin
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Vila: Why
are we all wearing white overcoats?
Avon: In preperation for our future roles in 'Casualty'.
by Royal ER
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Avon: I
am going to become a woman. You may call me Mandy from now on.
by Royal ER
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Avon: [Yorkshire
accent] Ah've just plopped me pants.
by Martin
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Vila watched
intensley, waiting for Avon's response to Blake's request
by Steve R
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Not knowing
what day it was, the crew of the Liberator drifted through space
in an endless spin which caused the crew to experience fits
of stomping, hair loss, uncontrollable farting and a deep passion
for Slim Whitman records.
by Yolanda Squatpump
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Avon talking
to Blake: Dear God man, we've been doing this for two hours.
The red button stops the ship and the green button makes the
ship go, got it!
Blake: Huh?
by The One Legged Midget
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Villa: I
know their talking about me. It's just a matter of time before
they find out I put Exlax in tonights dinner.
by Friends of the Pigmy Cowboy
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avon ; the
instuctins say pull knob to reboot and ive been doing that for
about 4 hours my wrist herts like hell
villa ; you stupid sod
by baz_tard
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Orac: I
must protest! This is a gross waste of my resources.
Avon: Just tell us Orac!
Orac: Very well then it was Roj Blake that farted.
by lucasgd
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Perhaps,
just a bit too much bleach..
by 99
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Avon: {Sings}
I am what I aaaamm...
by Martin
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We are the
new Beegee's tribute - Hah Hah Hah Hah staying alive, staying
alive
by C Fudge
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Don`t You
think we`re a bit old to form a "Boy Band"?
by Tyler
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Did I leave
the iron on?
by moonface
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the gang
prepare for a picnic!!
by master of cheese
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Avon:"I
know you take the resistance seriously Blake, but do really
think this Karate course is necessary?"
by Russell Fordred
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Vila: Where
exactly did you teleport Tarrent to? Blake: Yes, you gave the
rest of us falty teleport bracelets, and we didn't go with him?
Avon (Calmly): I sent him to a gay bar. Vila: Why did you do
that!? Avon: He got mouthy.
by My nose is on strike, so I pickit.
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Vila: Will
you two stop singing "They're comming to take me away haha"
Its makeing me very nervous. oh and why did you make me put
on this jacket with long sleeves and and no zip at the front?
by Paul Maddox
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Blake:-
Sorry Avon, you won't bend that spoon like Uri...
Vila:- Boys and their toys. Tck
by James
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Vila: Well
do you think we will pass as the Bee Gees?
by Shaza
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Yes.....We
are more than good friends!!!
by paul
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Blake: What
game shall we play next?
Avon: How about a "Who-can-pee-the-highest-up-Orac?"
contest. I'll go first...
by Martin
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avon; hey,
where are the keys to my porsche?.
vila; heh heh heh, the perfect crime, now to burn some space
rubber.........
by evil imp
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avon; hey,
this hole in ORAC is just big enough for me to fit my kno.....
blake; avon!, this is a family show.
by evil imp
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"I'm
the idiot? At least I didn't star in Timelash!"
by Nick Zbu
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Avon: Feeeeeee-lingssss!
Nothing else but feeeeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeee-lingsssss!
Orac: Oh yes, catch that mellow rhythm, baby!
by Martin
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Avon: I
know this is not exactly the perfect moment to bring this up...but
I think we should shove Vila in an air lock.
Vila:WHAT!!!!
Blake: ....
by Pug-lover
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Avon: I'll
figure this out yet...
Vila: What's his problem?
Blake: He can't figure out how to get the clock on the VCR to
stop blinking.
Avon: ...Bloody Technology!!!!
by Lechar
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Blake: Look
Avon, if you can't figure out how to use the Telly remote than
let Orac do it. Avon: Shut up blake, I can figure this out!!!
Orac: <pause> No you can't...
by Richard Breath
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Avon: Damn
this ancient 20th century technology - why is it you can never
get a remote control that works. Now which one of these buttons
is play?
by Dungeon Master
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The others
cringed as Avon began to tell his old joke about Servalan, the
bounty hunter and the banana.
They had heard it many... many times before
by Matt
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Okay Tom,
the stage lights are set. Now it starts like this, "It's
not unusual to be loved...by anyone."
by The Worm
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So You Can't
Remeber How Drunk You Were?
by Timothy John Cook
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Avon: since
my hair is identical to the background if you squint i look
like i have a really bumpy deformed head!
by cik
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..and in
the year 1970 the popularity of the Moonies already reached
far beyond basingstoke..
by Al
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Blake: Hey,
has anyone seen these markings on Orac before? Avon, your opinion?
Avon: It's in Braille. Hang on, I'll translate... "This...
device... is... a... novelty... item... All rights reserved.
Made... in... Taiwan..."
by Martin
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There was
a moment of silence on the Liberator flightdeck after Orac announced
that he had a vibrate function.
by Slartibartfast
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Villa: OK,
which one one of you cut the cheese?
Blake: Avon......?
Avon: It was ORAC I tell you. IT WAS ORAC!!!!
by Matt
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Avon: Blake
I have asked you before, Please do not go pee pees on the flight
deck!!!
by Matt
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Blake:(sexy
voice) So, Avon, would you like to come back to my cabin.....
Avon: Villa! I told you NOT to give Blake the keys to the medical
supplies again!!!
by Matt
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Blake and
Avon promised not to look whilst Vila adjusted his codpiece.
by Avon
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AVON: Of
course I can turn on ORAC without looking, Blake! I just need...to
press... right here... Damn!
BLAKE: Missed again?
by Terri
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Clothes
like these, they make you feel like the president of the universe
by cik
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Vila "I
don`t know Avon , it calls itself a super computer , we have
to go out and buy our own package to get Sky Digital"
Orac "May I remind you , decoding quiz shows is not the
purpose for which I was built"
Avon "You are the weakest link Orac"
"Goodbye"
by Magic Pebble
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Avon: Um,
could someone help me please? I think I've just nailed my finger
to Orac's casing.
by Martin
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Vila: Hey!
Who cut my arm off?!?
Blake: [Suspiciously] Avon...?
Avon: [Innocently] Moi?
by Martin
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Blake: Is
this the audition for the part of Shelley in Blackadder?
by Martin
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Go away
Vila, there can be only 2 pet shop boys
by cik
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BLAKE: This
is the self-defense class right?
by Alex Henderson
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Blake you
*git*. You knew I was coming to the party as 'Hopkirk Deceased.'
Now sod off and find your own costume idea.
by emma d'avon
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Blake:I'm
sorry Avon... I didn't mean to burn your favourite outfit.
Vila: Blake! How could you?
by the fan
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Vila catches
part of the conversation and isn't pleased.
Blake: He can't help it... he doesn't even relise...
Avon: Don't lecture me Blake! I will tolerate the stench no
longer. If he doesn't leave I shall!
by the fan
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Avon: I
don't believe it Blake you tart - you've been in my wardrobe
again and stealing my shirts!
by Avon
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Vila: Hey,
what's happened to Avon?
Blake: I don't know, it looks like he's been frozen in time.
It must have been that belt of ionized particles we've just
flown through! Quick, Vila, this is an emergen-...
Avon: Ah-CHOO! Sorry, were you saying something?
by Martin
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Vila: Hey,
this is terrible, there's no fighting or weapons in this picture.
We can't do any "Hey! It's X! Kill 'im!!" gags this
month.
Avon: Calm down. At least we managed to do a "Stop feeling
my bum" caption.
by Martin
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Avon: Blake,
stop feeling my bum, please.
by Martin
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Avon: The
Bay-City Rollers are back, I'm telling you.
Zen: Confirmed. Oh yeah. Break it down.
by Martin
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