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January 2001

Caption Competition picture of the month

This one is great - the picture is just like one of the Peter Sellers fight scenes from the Pink Panther Movies!
Well Done Ian for coming up with that one!

Blake: NOT... NOW... KATO!!!!

by Ian

Nick Ross: "Police are looking for this man in connection a bizzare series of muggings, where it seems his humanity gets the better of him often leaving him the victim handing everything over but his bracelet.... But remember dont have nightmares goodnight."

by Al

Blake: Do it to me Michael Hutchence style.

S&M Partner: Here's the ciggy's for after.

by the fan

Guard: The tent's mine! Give it back!

Blake: But it goes so well with my belt!... Give me my bin liner back!...

Guard: Never!...

by the fan

Guard: I told you to drop the soap, then bend over and pick it up!

Blake: No!.... Never!.....

by the fan

Guard: Putting on four stone like that doesn't fool me, Elvis, I know it's you. Kiss me!!

by Martin

Guard: Dyeing your hair like that doesn't fool me, di Caprio. Diiiiee!!

by Martin

Guard: Roj Blake, you are the weakest link. Die!

by Martin

Guard: Hey! It's the leader of the Hair Bear Bunch! Kill 'im!!

by Martin

Guard: Hey! It's CondorMan! Kill 'im!!

by Martin

Guard: No of course I'm not trying to strangle him. Some clever dick glued my hand to his throat while we were asleep.

by Martin

Blake hitting a brick on his own head, in an attempt to knock himself out.

Guard:Calm down man! If you don't like thw way I smell, just hold your nose!

by the fan

Clone: THIS CAPTION BETTER WIN! BECAUSE I HAVE YOUR GRANDMOTHERS AS HOSTAGES!

Luke s Clone did not spend time thinking of winning captions instead it resorted to other means of winning

by Lukes Clone!!!!!

Fish: yeah Waddle!

by cik

Man Utd-supporter Federation Guard: No! Di Canio was off-side dammit!!
Blake: Nyah nyah, nyah nyah! Man United loser!!

by Martin

Female Viewer: Hmm, I preferred Ken Russell's version of "Women In Love". The blokes got their gear off in that one.

by Martin

Guard: Hey! It's that Freddy Feelgood guy who keeps cloning dangerous loonies! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: I've done it. In my hands I have L. Sutton's genetic code in my hand. Now I can clone him so he can get some sleep while his clones stay up all night writing captions for him.

by Freddy Feelgood Ad His 5 Piece Band

Guard: Hey! It's the guy who WRITES Neighbours! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Martin: Hey! It's Max Ramsay from Neighbours! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Guard: Hey! It's Fred Harris! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Luke Skywalker: You don't look so tough without your cloak, Dad.
Darth Vader: Oh yeah? Well that hair dye makes you like some camp over-actor from a British sci-fi show!

by Martin

Blake: Unclean... unclean...
Guard: Hey! He's diseased! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Never play twister with the federation!

by Ian

Blake: Please let go, I've already told you,
it's not MY fault; I'M not Kevin Keegan.

by John H

Blake: It's my last slab of Thornton's Space
toffee and you can't have any.

by John H (NOT 'Luke S' or 'Martin')

Guard: I vant to bite your neeeeckk!!

by Martin

Guard: He's a hammy actor. KILL IM!!!

by CTD

Fed Guard : "I've had about enough of your hammy acting as I can handle, I'll show you!"

by Paul Maddox

The guard is reading the new book... Idiots guide to the Heimlic manouvre

by Luke S

Blake: Ok teleport me we have to go to the next star!
Billy Blanks: That's not what I mean by star jump! ( Begins to strangle Blake )

by Luke S

Blake: Ok teleport now...um guys... i need teleport... Cally... Zen.. Orac... Anybody!

by Luke S

In all seriousness Blake is probably round about now trying to say #@&%!

by Luke S

Blake: Hang on i havent finished reading this book called... idiot's guide to taichi.

by Luke S

The little book that Blake is holding in his hand is 'The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy.'
Hitch hikers guide: The first thing that you must remember when coming across a black suited federation guard is DONT PANIC!

by Luke S

Blake: What are you doing that isn't in the script?
Guard: I'm improvising!

by Luke S

PRISON MORNING EXCERCISES

Guard: Ok you've broken your record and done two star jumps, I better check your pulse!

by Luke S

You want to stick that where?

by Double J

J U N I O R ! ! !

by Double J

COME ON!!! I want to lead this time.

by Double J

Not the Vulcan grip.

by Double J

Your just not my type, I'm sorry.

by Double J

That's my tickle spot you Baassttaarrrdd......

by Double J

The Guard tries a re;ative simple head transplant!

by Luke S

Guard: Hey! He's got my wallet! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: Hey everyone! I've got a picture of Mandelson accepting the money... UNGGHH!!
Peter Mandelson: [In a strange outfit.] Gimme that!!

by Martin


Blake here is trying to do the old fake that you have rabies trick. Sadly he was caught with the foam in his hand!

by Luke S

Blake: Candyman! Candyman! Candyman! AAARRRGGGHHH!

by Luke S

Guard: Ill make sure you save the last dance for me!

by Luke S

Blake: if you tell me ware you got drunk i'll get boozed up myself and we can have a proper brawl.

by Peter

The guard is forcing Blake to eat a bar of soap.

Guard: The word geezer is naughty and out of the question!

by Luke S

This photo which is often used to prove that Blake is still alive is an obvious forgery. Not only are the shadows in the wrong place, but he also has clean teeth!

by Luke S

Without the other two stooges, curly is a dead duck!

by Luke S

Blake: But I don't wont a bath!
Guard: Give me that soap now!

by Luke S

Blake cleverly uses a wet sponge hoping that it will shrink the guards leather suit and ultimately cause suffocation!

by Luke S

I was only kidding, your mother isit that fat.

by Peter

Blake was finding his new dancing partner a little too agressive, especially when Blake insisted on leading.

by Steve R

MAN IN BLACK: "DON'T drop that strange bomb shaped sponge or else!!!"

by Mary

Blake: I thought he would melt if I used this sponge on him. It must be the plastic that's protecting him!

by Medusa

Guard: Hey! It's that Luke Sutton geezer who keeps stealing Martin's catchphrase! Kill 'im!

by Martin

The guard checks for strings while Blake does his finale performance. He flies around the room like the original David Copperfield.
Blake: I call this the man who could fly!

by Luke S

Rising Sun 2
Sean Connery watching camera: This asphyxiation fetish in big companies is sick. It needs to be sent to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!

by Luke S

Position Vacant! One 3rd rate actor!

by Luke S

Interpretive dancing in a rough neighbourhood!

by Luke S

( Blake holding up a chair out of shot )
Blake: Ok, Ok we are getting a bit rough now!

by Luke S

Guard: He's got milk tray kill im!

by Luke S

Blake: Relax! Im not a greenie. Relax!
Guard: Greenie! Kill im!

by Luke S

Guard: He is wearing green kill im!

by Luke S

Guard: He just said kill im, KILL IM!

by Luke S

Neville Chamberlain: [Looking oddly-similar to Roj Blake] I have Hitler's piece in my hand... er, I mean...
Guard: Hey! The Prime Minister's a whoopsie! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: I bring bad news, your Majesty...
King: [Off-set] Hey! A messenger bringing bad news! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: Hey! It's Gideon the goose! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: Hey! It's a nerd! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Guard: Someones been cheating! Because I had an ace up my sleeve and now it aint there. It's you!!!!

by Luke S

I believe that they call this Dirty Dancing!

by Luke S

Guard: And a one step, and a two step and a ticklie under there! ( Blake giggles )

by Luke S

Guard: And this litle piggy went we we we all the way home. ( Blake giggles )

by Luke S

Blake and Guard: Ring a ring of rosies, a pocket full of posies. A tissue. A tissue. We all fall down!

by Luke S

Oh yes this is the classic flight or fight response! The guard here is demonstrating the fight response and Blake well he is demonstrating a novel version of the flight response!
Blake: I'm ready for take off!

by Luke S

The classic fight scene that was stolen from BBC. This is where Blake does a imitation of a bird crane... by standing on one leg and then jumps kicking the guard in the face with that leg!

by Luke S

Instead of going outside and settling it like men. They stay inside and settle it like women!
Guard: If you don't give me that i'll scratch you!

by Luke S

The price of bad acting they make you eat the script!

by Luke S

Sibling Rivalry!

by Luke S

Luke and martin Kill em!

by Luke S

Guard: Hey! It's that Martin-bloke who keeps filling this page with rubbish captions! Kill 'im!

by Martin

Blake: Alright, Avon. I promise I wasn't staring at your bum in the September competition, and I promise I like your new hood, now let me go!

by Martin

Guard: Hey, he looks just like the guy Tarrant was feeling up in the Caption Competition a couple of months ago! Kill 'im!!

by Martin

Guard: Hey! It's Tony Blair! Kill 'im!

by Martin

BLAKE: Blake's 7 is better than Star Trek!
TREKKIE DRESSED AS CARDASSIAN: No it <*#/ing isn't!!!

by Martin

Blake: Ow! Look are you sure you're a qualified masseur?

by Martin

Blake: Don't mention ze war!

by Martin

Guard: Hey, he's got the same hairstyle as the guy who was feeling Gerren up in the Caption Competition a couple of months ago! Kill 'im!!

by Martin

Blake: Phww! Did you forget to wash your hands before we started?

by Martin

Blake: This isn't a very good picture for a caption competition is it? There's not a lot you can write for it.

by Martin

Blake: Im going to give you this one last chance or i'll be forced to use this weapon made out of polystirene!

by Luke S

BLAKE: "i'll clean that look of your face if you're not carefull mate"

by Mary

don't drop the soap

by cik

Blake: Stop strangling me or I'll hit you on the head with my fearsome Dalek-eye-scope-and-cheese-sandwich machine

by Martin

oy thats my cucomber & gote chesse sandwich

by rick

All right1 All right! You can have the Milk Tray back!

by emma d'avon

( Blake is about to hit the guard with a pocket size dictionary )
Blake: I couldn't find any sticks and stones, so i'll just have to make these words hurt!

by Luke S

Read all about it. Ninja mugs BBC TV's 'Blake' for Cheese Sandwich

by Bobafet

Blakes cover dressed a tree gets blown!

by Luke S

Blake foolishly tries to steal a rare pokemon trading card from the guard!

by Luke S

Blake in thought: This guy is every ballroom dancers worst nightmare. Not only does he step on your toes, but he strangles you to!

by Luke S

Blake:This...is....the...SPONGE OF DOOM!!!!!

by cik

No no we are learning the foxtrot this week

by Laup

Blake pours a cup of water over the guard.

Guard: NO! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!

by Luke S

Men are like seagulls. Put a few microchips in a box and watch them fight!

by Luke S

Blake: Im a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout!
Guard: Alright you asked for it Pal!

by Luke S

Blake attempts the ultimate revenge in the federation. Stealing their lunches!

by Luke S

Blakes is using the old, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing trick!

by Luke S

Guard: They call this the Wartz!

by Luke S

Avon off screen: You guys get a hotel!

by Luke S

Guard: Hey! It's Leo Sayer! Kill 'im!!!!

by Martin

Guard: Hey, he's doing a Nazi salute! Kill 'im!!!

by Martin

Blake: Bloody Hell this is a rough fight! We've only just started and they've already cut my left hand off.

by Martin

Two men fighting over Bells number!

by Luke S

To men fighting Bells number!

by Luke S

Little does the guard know that Blake is constipated!

by You can ring my bell

Little does the Guard know that Blake is constapated!

by Luke S

CATFIGHT!

Guard: MEOOWWWW!
Blake: HISSSSSS!

by Luke S

If you think this is a classic example of overacting when the guard is barely touching him. Wait till the guard slaps him, Blake will go flying across the room!

by Luke S

The BBC starts to film in the looney tunes studio.

Blake: Morning Sam.
Guard: Morning Ralph.

Blake hardly gets time to clock on in the studio when it all begins to happen.

by Luke S

Blake calling out "Bingo!" prematurely one too many times. Is forced off the premises!

by Luke S

Blake: Help!
Avon, Vila, Gan, Jenna and Cally rolling around the floor laughing off screen.
Orac: Now I understand humour!

by Luke S

The guard stupidly worries about the sandwhich in Blake's hand and is entirely oblivious that in his over hand Blake has a frozen banana.

by Luke S

While fighting Blake is trying to put his arm up to ask if he can go to the toilet, but sadly he doesn't get heard!

by Luke S

Blake goes out with style doing his Jim Cagney impersonation.

Blake: YOU DIRTY RAT!

by Luke S

The Director of the Tv series Batman remakes The Blakes 7 series.

POW!!!!!!!
WHACK!!!!!!!!!!
KATHUMP!!!!!!!!!!

by Luke S

Guard: Hmm, good armspan too, and a good neck. Yes I can do a jumper in your size, Blake, but lose the hankie, it makes you look like a jessie.

by Martin

Guard: Let go of my hankie, I need a sneeze!
Blake: Me first... aaa... aaaa...

by Martin

Look Gareth, I want my Clock Card back otherwise the boss won't pay me.

by Simon

That's my vanity mirror I tell you!

by Bobafet

A classic fight scene that never aired. This is where the guard reaches into Blakes chest pulling out his heart and shouting: KALI MA!

by Luke S

The classic fight scene that got cut. This where the guard reaches into Blakes chest and pulls out his heart shouting: KALI MA!

by Luke S

Blake bearing a message for the king finds out that it wasn't a good one!

by Luke S

Men in black: You will not remember anything! You have never seen aliens!

by Luke S

Blake mocks the guards hostile attempts by doing his John Travolta impersonation.

Blake: Staying alive! Staying alive! Oh, oh, oh, oh, STAYING ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Luke S

Gan, Jenna, Avon, Vila, Orac, Zen, Guards and a million tv viewers: FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

by Very sleepy Luke

Blake: Ok now you done it. Your well within my personal space!

by You know! LS

The problem here children is called Tostesterone!

by Luke S

If you do the vulcan nerve pinch and check for their pulse at the same time it makes sandwhiches fly into their hands!

by Im a tired Luke

To really impress the ballroom judges. Blake slides down the corridor on his knees and then quickly moves into the pasa doblay!

by Guess who? Luke

Blakes main concern is the guy behind the grassy knoll!

by Luke S

It's just the Federations way of saying " Hello!"

by Luke S

Blake: Rape! Rape!
Guard: Dream on!

by Luke S

This picture proves that men can fake it too!

by Luke S

WWF Blake!

by Luke S

Music in background: You do the hokey pokey and you turn around. That's what it's all about!"

by Luke S

I've heard of actors fighting over lines but this is ridiculous.

by Luke S

( Two guys fighting over a centrefold )
Guard: SHE'S MINE I TELL YOU!

by Luke S

Monty Pythons: How to protect yourself from a guy weilding a piece of cheesecake!

by Luke S

A snap shot of how the federation handles Bible bashers!

by Luke S

Anaesthetic or no anaesthetic, there was no way Blake was having that dentist's drill in his mouth!

by Odyssey

And all because the lady loves Milk Tray

by Simon

Blake really should have learned by now not to mess with the new gerneration of WWF wrestlers as one of them slams him against the wall

by gina

Guard: Gimme that back!
Blake: Ooooo, look everyone, the big tough Federation guy got a love letter. Shall I read it out?

by Martin

Blake: Alright, Avon! That hood doesn't make you look like a nancy, now let me go!

by Martin

Blake: I don't know who invented this dance step but I bet he comes from a rough neighbourhood.

by Martin

Blake's attempt to get a refund from the dry cleaner for ruining his sleeves met with a rather humourless response...

by Slave

All because the lady loves....Milk Tray!

by Slave

ASSAILANT: You can't fool me, you're not Roj Blake! You're Jimmy Tarbuck!

by Slave

Blake: Oh no, I'm gonna... aahh... aahh...
Guard: Don't worry, I'll tie a knot in your neck.

by Martin

Guard: I'm not wearing any pants you know.
Blake: Aaaaarrrghhh!!

by Martin

Guard: Uurghh! Stop pulling that face while I'm strangling you, I can see right down your gob!

by Martin

Blake: I can reach higher than you can, NYAH NYAH NYAH NAYH NYAH!

by Martin

Blake: Stop it, that tickles!

by Martin

Guard: Blake, will you get your bloody neck out of my hand, I'm trying to play catch.

by Martin

Blake's rendition of 'Night Fever' did not cut any ice with the critics.

by Slave

BLAKE: Aaaaaaaaaa.....CHOO!

by Slave

Man in Black: Stop making that silly face, Blake, you're making me giggle!

by Roderick

Vila had previosly gone on a Mexican food binge....


Avon: FOR GOD'S SAKE,BLAKE, GIVE ME THOSE CHARCOLE PILLS!!!!!

by American Pigdog!!!

Blake: Let go of me!!!!! It's my bloody peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, make your own!!!!!

by I'm with stupid

Dayna: Hand over the winning lotery ticket, you fat honky!!!!
Blake: Never!!!!!!

by Lechar

DROP THE CHELUPA!!!!!

by Lecher

No Blake - you can't eat that sandwich.

by Simon

 

Untitled Document

View the Results from the following months

June 2000

July 2000

August 2000


September 2000

October 2000

November 2000


December 2000

January 2001

February 2001

March 2001

April 2001

May 2001

June 2001

July 2001

August 2001

September 2001

November 2001

December 2001

January 2002

 

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