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January
2001
This
one is great - the picture is just like one of the Peter Sellers fight
scenes from the Pink Panther Movies!
Well Done Ian for coming up with that one!
Blake: NOT...
NOW... KATO!!!!
 by Ian
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Nick Ross: "Police
are looking for this man in connection a bizzare series of muggings,
where it seems his humanity gets the better of him often leaving
him the victim handing everything over but his bracelet.... But
remember dont have nightmares goodnight."
by Al
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Blake: Do it
to me Michael Hutchence style.
S&M Partner: Here's the ciggy's for after.
by the fan
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Guard: The tent's
mine! Give it back!
Blake: But it goes so well with my belt!... Give me my bin liner
back!...
Guard: Never!...
by the fan
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Guard: I told
you to drop the soap, then bend over and pick it up!
Blake: No!.... Never!.....
by the fan
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Guard: Putting
on four stone like that doesn't fool me, Elvis, I know it's you.
Kiss me!!
by Martin
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Guard: Dyeing
your hair like that doesn't fool me, di Caprio. Diiiiee!!
by Martin
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Guard: Roj Blake,
you are the weakest link. Die!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey!
It's the leader of the Hair Bear Bunch! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey!
It's CondorMan! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
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Guard: No of
course I'm not trying to strangle him. Some clever dick glued my
hand to his throat while we were asleep.
by Martin
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Blake hitting
a brick on his own head, in an attempt to knock himself out.
Guard:Calm down man! If you don't like thw way I smell, just hold
your nose!
by the fan
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Clone: THIS
CAPTION BETTER WIN! BECAUSE I HAVE YOUR GRANDMOTHERS AS HOSTAGES!
Luke s Clone did not spend time thinking of winning captions instead
it resorted to other means of winning
by Lukes Clone!!!!!
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Fish: yeah Waddle!
by cik
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Man Utd-supporter
Federation Guard: No! Di Canio was off-side dammit!!
Blake: Nyah nyah, nyah nyah! Man United loser!!
by Martin
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Female Viewer:
Hmm, I preferred Ken Russell's version of "Women In Love".
The blokes got their gear off in that one.
by Martin
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Guard: Hey!
It's that Freddy Feelgood guy who keeps cloning dangerous loonies!
Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: I've
done it. In my hands I have L. Sutton's genetic code in my hand.
Now I can clone him so he can get some sleep while his clones stay
up all night writing captions for him.
by Freddy Feelgood Ad His 5 Piece Band
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Guard: Hey!
It's the guy who WRITES Neighbours! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Martin: Hey!
It's Max Ramsay from Neighbours! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey!
It's Fred Harris! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Luke Skywalker:
You don't look so tough without your cloak, Dad.
Darth Vader: Oh yeah? Well that hair dye makes you like some camp
over-actor from a British sci-fi show!
by Martin
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Blake: Unclean...
unclean...
Guard: Hey! He's diseased! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Never play twister
with the federation!
by Ian
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Blake: Please
let go, I've already told you,
it's not MY fault; I'M not Kevin Keegan.
by John H
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Blake: It's
my last slab of Thornton's Space
toffee and you can't have any.
by John H (NOT 'Luke S' or 'Martin')
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Guard: I vant
to bite your neeeeckk!!
by Martin
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Guard: He's
a hammy actor. KILL IM!!!
by CTD
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Fed Guard :
"I've had about enough of your hammy acting as I can handle,
I'll show you!"
by Paul Maddox
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The guard is
reading the new book... Idiots guide to the Heimlic manouvre
by Luke S
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Blake: Ok teleport
me we have to go to the next star!
Billy Blanks: That's not what I mean by star jump! ( Begins to strangle
Blake )
by Luke S
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Blake: Ok teleport
now...um guys... i need teleport... Cally... Zen.. Orac... Anybody!
by Luke S
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In all seriousness
Blake is probably round about now trying to say #@&%!
by Luke S
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Blake: Hang
on i havent finished reading this book called... idiot's guide to
taichi.
by Luke S
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The little book
that Blake is holding in his hand is 'The Hitch Hikers Guide To
The Galaxy.'
Hitch hikers guide: The first thing that you must remember when
coming across a black suited federation guard is DONT PANIC!
by Luke S
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Blake: What
are you doing that isn't in the script?
Guard: I'm improvising!
by Luke S
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PRISON MORNING
EXCERCISES
Guard: Ok you've broken your record and done two star jumps, I better
check your pulse!
by Luke S
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You want to
stick that where?
by Double J
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J U N I O R
! ! !
by Double J
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COME ON!!! I
want to lead this time.
by Double J
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Not the Vulcan
grip.
by Double J
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Your just not
my type, I'm sorry.
by Double J
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That's my tickle
spot you Baassttaarrrdd......
by Double J
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The Guard tries
a re;ative simple head transplant!
by Luke S
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Guard: Hey!
He's got my wallet! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: Hey everyone!
I've got a picture of Mandelson accepting the money... UNGGHH!!
Peter Mandelson: [In a strange outfit.] Gimme that!!
by Martin
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Blake here is
trying to do the old fake that you have rabies trick. Sadly he was
caught with the foam in his hand!
by Luke S
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Blake: Candyman!
Candyman! Candyman! AAARRRGGGHHH!
by Luke S
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Guard: Ill make
sure you save the last dance for me!
by Luke S
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Blake: if you
tell me ware you got drunk i'll get boozed up myself and we can
have a proper brawl.
by Peter
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The guard is
forcing Blake to eat a bar of soap.
Guard: The word geezer is naughty and out of the question!
by Luke S
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This photo which
is often used to prove that Blake is still alive is an obvious forgery.
Not only are the shadows in the wrong place, but he also has clean
teeth!
by Luke S
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Without the
other two stooges, curly is a dead duck!
by Luke S
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Blake: But I
don't wont a bath!
Guard: Give me that soap now!
by Luke S
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Blake cleverly
uses a wet sponge hoping that it will shrink the guards leather
suit and ultimately cause suffocation!
by Luke S
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I was only kidding,
your mother isit that fat.
by Peter
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Blake was finding
his new dancing partner a little too agressive, especially when
Blake insisted on leading.
by Steve R
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MAN IN BLACK:
"DON'T drop that strange bomb shaped sponge or else!!!"
by Mary
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Blake: I thought
he would melt if I used this sponge on him. It must be the plastic
that's protecting him!
by Medusa
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Guard: Hey!
It's that Luke Sutton geezer who keeps stealing Martin's catchphrase!
Kill 'im!
by Martin
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The guard checks
for strings while Blake does his finale performance. He flies around
the room like the original David Copperfield.
Blake: I call this the man who could fly!
by Luke S
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Rising Sun 2
Sean Connery watching camera: This asphyxiation fetish in big companies
is sick. It needs to be sent to the morgue. That's the Chicago way!
by Luke S
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Position Vacant!
One 3rd rate actor!
by Luke S
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Interpretive
dancing in a rough neighbourhood!
by Luke S
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( Blake holding
up a chair out of shot )
Blake: Ok, Ok we are getting a bit rough now!
by Luke S
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Guard: He's
got milk tray kill im!
by Luke S
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Blake: Relax!
Im not a greenie. Relax!
Guard: Greenie! Kill im!
by Luke S
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Guard: He is
wearing green kill im!
by Luke S
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Guard: He just
said kill im, KILL IM!
by Luke S
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Neville Chamberlain:
[Looking oddly-similar to Roj Blake] I have Hitler's piece in my
hand... er, I mean...
Guard: Hey! The Prime Minister's a whoopsie! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: I bring
bad news, your Majesty...
King: [Off-set] Hey! A messenger bringing bad news! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: Hey!
It's Gideon the goose! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: Hey!
It's a nerd! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Guard: Someones
been cheating! Because I had an ace up my sleeve and now it aint
there. It's you!!!!
by Luke S
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I believe that
they call this Dirty Dancing!
by Luke S
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Guard: And a
one step, and a two step and a ticklie under there! ( Blake giggles
)
by Luke S
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Guard: And this
litle piggy went we we we all the way home. ( Blake giggles )
by Luke S
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Blake and Guard:
Ring a ring of rosies, a pocket full of posies. A tissue. A tissue.
We all fall down!
by Luke S
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Oh yes this
is the classic flight or fight response! The guard here is demonstrating
the fight response and Blake well he is demonstrating a novel version
of the flight response!
Blake: I'm ready for take off!
by Luke S
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The classic
fight scene that was stolen from BBC. This is where Blake does a
imitation of a bird crane... by standing on one leg and then jumps
kicking the guard in the face with that leg!
by Luke S
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Instead of going
outside and settling it like men. They stay inside and settle it
like women!
Guard: If you don't give me that i'll scratch you!
by Luke S
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The price of
bad acting they make you eat the script!
by Luke S
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Sibling Rivalry!
by Luke S
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Luke and martin
Kill em!
by Luke S
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Guard: Hey!
It's that Martin-bloke who keeps filling this page with rubbish
captions! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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Blake: Alright,
Avon. I promise I wasn't staring at your bum in the September competition,
and I promise I like your new hood, now let me go!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey,
he looks just like the guy Tarrant was feeling up in the Caption
Competition a couple of months ago! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey!
It's Tony Blair! Kill 'im!
by Martin
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BLAKE: Blake's
7 is better than Star Trek!
TREKKIE DRESSED AS CARDASSIAN: No it <*#/ing isn't!!!
by Martin
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Blake: Ow! Look
are you sure you're a qualified masseur?
by Martin
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Blake: Don't
mention ze war!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey,
he's got the same hairstyle as the guy who was feeling Gerren up
in the Caption Competition a couple of months ago! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
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Blake: Phww!
Did you forget to wash your hands before we started?
by Martin
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Blake: This
isn't a very good picture for a caption competition is it? There's
not a lot you can write for it.
by Martin
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Blake: Im going
to give you this one last chance or i'll be forced to use this weapon
made out of polystirene!
by Luke S
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BLAKE: "i'll
clean that look of your face if you're not carefull mate"
by Mary
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don't drop the
soap
by cik
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Blake: Stop
strangling me or I'll hit you on the head with my fearsome Dalek-eye-scope-and-cheese-sandwich
machine
by Martin
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oy thats my
cucomber & gote chesse sandwich
by rick
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All right1 All
right! You can have the Milk Tray back!
by emma d'avon
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( Blake is about
to hit the guard with a pocket size dictionary )
Blake: I couldn't find any sticks and stones, so i'll just have
to make these words hurt!
by Luke S
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Read all about
it. Ninja mugs BBC TV's 'Blake' for Cheese Sandwich
by Bobafet
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Blakes cover
dressed a tree gets blown!
by Luke S
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Blake foolishly
tries to steal a rare pokemon trading card from the guard!
by Luke S
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Blake in thought:
This guy is every ballroom dancers worst nightmare. Not only does
he step on your toes, but he strangles you to!
by Luke S
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Blake:This...is....the...SPONGE
OF DOOM!!!!!
by cik
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No no we are
learning the foxtrot this week
by Laup
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Blake pours
a cup of water over the guard.
Guard: NO! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!
by Luke S
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Men are like
seagulls. Put a few microchips in a box and watch them fight!
by Luke S
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Blake: Im a
little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout!
Guard: Alright you asked for it Pal!
by Luke S
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Blake attempts
the ultimate revenge in the federation. Stealing their lunches!
by Luke S
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Blakes is using
the old, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing
trick!
by Luke S
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Guard: They
call this the Wartz!
by Luke S
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Avon off screen:
You guys get a hotel!
by Luke S
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Guard: Hey!
It's Leo Sayer! Kill 'im!!!!
by Martin
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Guard: Hey,
he's doing a Nazi salute! Kill 'im!!!
by Martin
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Blake: Bloody
Hell this is a rough fight! We've only just started and they've
already cut my left hand off.
by Martin
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Two men fighting
over Bells number!
by Luke S
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To men fighting
Bells number!
by Luke S
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Little does
the guard know that Blake is constipated!
by You can ring my bell
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Little does
the Guard know that Blake is constapated!
by Luke S
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CATFIGHT!
Guard: MEOOWWWW!
Blake: HISSSSSS!
by Luke S
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If you think
this is a classic example of overacting when the guard is barely
touching him. Wait till the guard slaps him, Blake will go flying
across the room!
by Luke S
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The BBC starts
to film in the looney tunes studio.
Blake: Morning Sam.
Guard: Morning Ralph.
Blake hardly gets time to clock on in the studio when it all begins
to happen.
by Luke S
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Blake calling
out "Bingo!" prematurely one too many times. Is forced
off the premises!
by Luke S
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Blake: Help!
Avon, Vila, Gan, Jenna and Cally rolling around the floor laughing
off screen.
Orac: Now I understand humour!
by Luke S
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The guard stupidly
worries about the sandwhich in Blake's hand and is entirely oblivious
that in his over hand Blake has a frozen banana.
by Luke S
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While fighting
Blake is trying to put his arm up to ask if he can go to the toilet,
but sadly he doesn't get heard!
by Luke S
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Blake goes out
with style doing his Jim Cagney impersonation.
Blake: YOU DIRTY RAT!
by Luke S
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The Director
of the Tv series Batman remakes The Blakes 7 series.
POW!!!!!!!
WHACK!!!!!!!!!!
KATHUMP!!!!!!!!!!
by Luke S
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Guard: Hmm,
good armspan too, and a good neck. Yes I can do a jumper in your
size, Blake, but lose the hankie, it makes you look like a jessie.
by Martin
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Guard: Let go
of my hankie, I need a sneeze!
Blake: Me first... aaa... aaaa...
by Martin
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Look Gareth,
I want my Clock Card back otherwise the boss won't pay me.
by Simon
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That's my vanity
mirror I tell you!
by Bobafet
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A classic fight
scene that never aired. This is where the guard reaches into Blakes
chest pulling out his heart and shouting: KALI MA!
by Luke S
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The classic
fight scene that got cut. This where the guard reaches into Blakes
chest and pulls out his heart shouting: KALI MA!
by Luke S
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Blake bearing
a message for the king finds out that it wasn't a good one!
by Luke S
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Men in black:
You will not remember anything! You have never seen aliens!
by Luke S
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Blake mocks
the guards hostile attempts by doing his John Travolta impersonation.
Blake: Staying alive! Staying alive! Oh, oh, oh, oh, STAYING ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Luke S
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Gan, Jenna,
Avon, Vila, Orac, Zen, Guards and a million tv viewers: FIGHT, FIGHT,
FIGHT, FIGHT!
by Very sleepy Luke
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Blake: Ok now
you done it. Your well within my personal space!
by You know! LS
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The problem
here children is called Tostesterone!
by Luke S
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If you do the
vulcan nerve pinch and check for their pulse at the same time it
makes sandwhiches fly into their hands!
by Im a tired Luke
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To really impress
the ballroom judges. Blake slides down the corridor on his knees
and then quickly moves into the pasa doblay!
by Guess who? Luke
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Blakes main
concern is the guy behind the grassy knoll!
by Luke S
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It's just the
Federations way of saying " Hello!"
by Luke S
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Blake: Rape!
Rape!
Guard: Dream on!
by Luke S
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This picture
proves that men can fake it too!
by Luke S
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WWF Blake!
by Luke S
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Music in background:
You do the hokey pokey and you turn around. That's what it's all
about!"
by Luke S
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I've heard of
actors fighting over lines but this is ridiculous.
by Luke S
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( Two guys fighting
over a centrefold )
Guard: SHE'S MINE I TELL YOU!
by Luke S
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Monty Pythons:
How to protect yourself from a guy weilding a piece of cheesecake!
by Luke S
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A snap shot
of how the federation handles Bible bashers!
by Luke S
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Anaesthetic
or no anaesthetic, there was no way Blake was having that dentist's
drill in his mouth!
by Odyssey
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And all because
the lady loves Milk Tray
by Simon
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Blake really
should have learned by now not to mess with the new gerneration
of WWF wrestlers as one of them slams him against the wall
by gina
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Guard: Gimme
that back!
Blake: Ooooo, look everyone, the big tough Federation guy got a
love letter. Shall I read it out?
by Martin
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Blake: Alright,
Avon! That hood doesn't make you look like a nancy, now let me go!
by Martin
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Blake: I don't
know who invented this dance step but I bet he comes from a rough
neighbourhood.
by Martin
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Blake's attempt
to get a refund from the dry cleaner for ruining his sleeves met
with a rather humourless response...
by Slave
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All because
the lady loves....Milk Tray!
by Slave
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ASSAILANT: You
can't fool me, you're not Roj Blake! You're Jimmy Tarbuck!
by Slave
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Blake: Oh no,
I'm gonna... aahh... aahh...
Guard: Don't worry, I'll tie a knot in your neck.
by Martin
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Guard: I'm not
wearing any pants you know.
Blake: Aaaaarrrghhh!!
by Martin
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Guard: Uurghh!
Stop pulling that face while I'm strangling you, I can see right
down your gob!
by Martin
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Blake: I can
reach higher than you can, NYAH NYAH NYAH NAYH NYAH!
by Martin
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Blake: Stop
it, that tickles!
by Martin
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Guard: Blake,
will you get your bloody neck out of my hand, I'm trying to play
catch.
by Martin
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Blake's rendition
of 'Night Fever' did not cut any ice with the critics.
by Slave
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BLAKE: Aaaaaaaaaa.....CHOO!
by Slave
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Man in Black:
Stop making that silly face, Blake, you're making me giggle!
by Roderick
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Vila had previosly
gone on a Mexican food binge....
Avon: FOR GOD'S SAKE,BLAKE, GIVE ME THOSE CHARCOLE PILLS!!!!!
by American Pigdog!!!
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Blake: Let go
of me!!!!! It's my bloody peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, make
your own!!!!!
by I'm with stupid
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Dayna: Hand
over the winning lotery ticket, you fat honky!!!!
Blake: Never!!!!!!
by Lechar
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DROP THE CHELUPA!!!!!
by Lecher
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No Blake - you
can't eat that sandwich.
by Simon
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