|
|
February
Competition
This
months winner brings water to your eyes
but
we think that it matches the picture -
Avon: "Now,
I suppose you're wondering why I've brought you all here today...
IT'S NIPPLE-PIERCING TIME!"
 by Kevin Clarke
|
Avon: Right
Vila, this'll hurt, but it'll teach you not to get drunk and
go to dubious tattoo parlours. And I don't know what you're
looking so self righteous about Blake, that Servalan's coming
off your stomach next...
by emmapeel@calvino.freeserve.co.uk
|
Avon: Vila,
Gan's head appears to be growing out of your left shoulder.
Hold still while I...
by Martin
|
OOH
by INKY
|
Avon: Now
Villa don't be scared. We all did it and now its your turn to
get this thing in your you know where. Hehehehe..........Villa:
AAHHHhhhaaa!!!
by Cweam
|
Blake's
idea for a WWF tag-team backfire
as he & Vila teleport up within 20 seconds of their deathmatch
with Stone Cold & The Undertaker.
by John H
|
Avon: Kind
of you, Kyzka, to remove your shirt. It makes it all the easier
to blast your nipples off...!!
by Martin
|
Kyzka: Ok
pal you got it! Gloves off for this caption contest!( Orders
Avon to hold back blake and Vila ) I'll handle this kill im
nut all by myself!!!!!!!
by Kyzka
|
The homeless
situation in Space is getting worse - so Avon takes matters
into his own hands.
by Anon
|
AVON: "Vila
Restal, i knight you.....rise Sir Vila
by gina
|
Avon to
Vila and Blake: "i knew this fancy dress party was a mistake.
Trust you two to come as the same person. who are you again?"
by D.MILLER
|
Avon: Hey!
It's that Kyzka-loony who's trying to kill that immensely-talented
caption writer Martin! Kill 'im!!
by Martin
|
Thinks Martins
got a serious brain loop disorder with the words ' kill im!
' So lets KILL IM!
by Kyzka
|
Avon: I
paid £34.99 for this from Ann Summers. You two can get
your own thankyou very much
by John Tapley
|
Avon: Well
I hope you're happy with yourselves, running around the ship
half naked.
Villa: You're just jealous because Blake has bigger breasts
than you, Avon.
Blake: Shut up Villa.
Gan thinking to himself: I've got bigger breasts than both those
guys.
by Harry Pitts
|
Avon: Look
everyone,Vila has peirced nipples.
Vila: Hey...what wrong with that. Besides, I just wanted to
be like Blake.
Blake(ebarassed):Shup up Vila!!!!
by U. R. Dumb
|
Avon: Hey!
Jenna ISN'T doing a strip! Kill her!
by Martin
|
With the
look on your face, Avon, your first name should be changed to
Wayne.
by Rob
|
Ok, ok.
Its just that Blake and I were hoping the topless policy might
make the Liberator a little more... 'Liberal'.
by Whovian
|
Avon: Come
on, cheap porn flicks are sure to buy us victory against the
federation!
by cik
|
Avon: Hey!
Vila's doing a strip! Kill 'im!
by Martin
|
in terminator
voice: "I need your clothes, and your egg whisk"
by thom
|
Avon: OK
lets go over this again. Blake, tonight you're the 3 legged
cowboy, and Villa it's your turn to be the stuborn mule
by Matt
|
Villa: Gan,
I hope thats your Handgun
by Matt
|
Avon: "Look,
when I said I knew a bit about tattooing, I meant just a bit."
Blake: "Just get on with it, Avon. We're both having a
topless Servalan on one arm and a flotilla of exploding pursuit
ships on the other."
by Gerald
|
Jenna: If
I could just get this hair out my eyes maybe I could see those
manly chests
by cik
|
nice night
for a walk
by cik
|
Take two
bottles into the shower? Not me! Why not try Servalans Patent
Mutoid Transformer for that whiter, bloodless look?
by Loatesy
|
Avon: I
dub thee Sir Vila
Vila: Careful - that things sharp
by Simon
|
Villa: I
know I said I could undo anything but this is getting ridiculous
by Joe Fox
|
Avon: Right
boys, you distract Servalan with a rendition of the full Monty
& I will blast her
Villa: I don't care if Robert Carlyle did this centuries ago
it's too cold, she'll only laugh
by Ian Fuller
|
Avon's comment
'Don't Get Shirty!' meets with several hard stares
by Slave
|
Jenna gazes
longingly at Avon, dreaming of being on the receiving end of
his deadly weapon.
by the fan
|
Vila realised
he'd always lose at strip poker until he found somewhere to
hide the extra aces...
by emma d'avon
|
Jenna: Blake,
why are you in such a bad mood today?
Blake: How would you like it if you had a cheap plastic wall
sticking in your back like this?
by Martin
|
Vila: Let
me tell you something "Mean Kerr"!
Me and the rest of the BWO are going to get the Universe Wrestling
title from Servalan's Creeps in tonights barbed wire baseball
bat cage match.
by The Blakester
|
Its another
one of those boring Wrestling interviews with "Mean Kerr"
Avon interviewing Vila and the rest of the BWO (Blakes World
Order).
by The Blakester
|
Avon: Don't
we usually put our shirts on first before going into battle?
Villa:(Drunk from the solar bar cafe) well now that you mention
it,i can't remember
by Don
|
Avon: [Draws
gun] If just ONE more of you suggests I take my clothes off
too...
by Martin
|
Gan: Well,
Cally?
Cally: No argument. Blake wins the "Who's-Got-The-Largest-Boobs-On-The-Ship?"
award.
by Martin
|
Avon: Blake,
Vila, when I said "Get rid of the gear" I meant put
your guns away...
by Martin
|
Avon holds
the weapon menacingly...
Avon: If anybody makes an offensive/libellous comment about
this situation, there'll be trouble!
by the repentant fan
|
Oh dear,
said Avon, am I in the wrong theme group? I thought this was
Baco-foil wearers association.
No, moaned Vila. It's masculinity night. And I'm losing!
by One Who Knows
|
Blake: "I
know my decisions aren't popular, but do we really have to make
decisions this way?"
Avon: "We took a vote. Mud wrestling won."
Vila: "I wish I'd kept my mouth shut."
by Ewen Campion-Clarke
|
AVON: There
you go Vila love, those chest hairs have curled up a treat!
BLAKE: Me next, me next!
by Oddboy
|
Avon: Hmm,
this "Tarzan"-gentlemen doesn't look up to much when
you meet him in the flesh.
by Martin
|
Gan: Psst,
don't look now everyone, but I've seen something climbing up
Vila's back...
by Martin
|
Rest of
Crew: Avon, don't you ever suggest Paint Balling again!
by olympia
|
Avon: "Look
villa, you cant go to the fancy dress party in the same outfit
as blake. Jenna is going as a fairy, Gan as a medi-evil hangman,
Blake is 1900's muscle man, Cally as princess leia and Im going
as captian Zorg. It was agreed, you should go as a tin of baked
beans. Now go and change your outfit!"
by Paul Maddox
|
Well did
you get the part of He-Man, Vila ?
by Ming
|
Vila: Brrr,
this radiator you've invented's rubbish, Avon.
by Martin
|
Avon: [Sniffing]
Oh... Vila! You could have waited!
by Martin
|
Gan: Dammit,
Orac!! Why'd you have to teleport us just as it was the GIRLS'
turn to strip off?
by Martin
|
Vila: Gan,
what ARE you doing back there?
by Martin
|
Jenna: Ow!
Watch where you point that thing!
by Martin
|
Vila: Look,
Avon, are you sure the cab driver said this was Bermuda?
by Martin
|
|
|