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DECEMBER 2000

Caption Competition picture of the month

Thought this one was most appropriate. It was the smug look on Dayna's face whilst the others looked at her questioningly! I can imagine Dayna doing something like this just for a laugh! Good One!

Avon: Um Dayna. Why do those arrows have our names on them?

by Luke Sutton

Dayna: I know a place that does cheap body piercing, if you are interested?

by Luke S

Dayna contemplates suicide.

Avon: YES DO IT!

by Luke S

Avon: Dayna, I think you've been out in the sun too long. I told you about the sunscreen.

by DBT

Avon: Dayna, how nice of you to knit Servalan
a new frock.

by John H

Dayna: Next? Ah. Welcome to the vasectomy clinic. You must be Mr. Avon.
Avon: [Gulps} No I'm not!
Servalan: Don't worry about my husband, he's just nervous. Come along, dear.
Dayna: Yes, come on, lie down on this nice comfortable cash till and I'll whip 'em off in no time with my trusty arrow heads.
Avon: I don't want to.
Dayna: Don't be silly, I haven't killed anyone yet... well I have, but I'm sure I know what I did wrong.

by Martin

Dayna: Don't look so disdainful, Servalan. Living under the sea changes you. It changes you more than words can say.
Servalan: Oh really?
Avon: It's true. When I first met her she was white.

by Martin

Servalan: What are you smirking at?
Dayna: If you look at the Caption Competition page with these arrow heads partly-obstructing your view, the photo looks very rude.
Avon: Bloody hell, my nads look bigger!

by Martin

And straight in at number 3 , this weeks highest new entry is
"The Liberators"
with
"Rescue me"

by Magic Pebble

Dayna:I'm telling you. If it worked for a pesty kid. It'll work for us to. We need to have a new home alone type format. The Cash register falls down here and the two arrows shoot out here!

by Luke S

( Dayna slowly tries to get over her fear of cash registers )
Dayna: Just think baby steps. Baby steps.
( Pokes cash register with arrow head )
Dayna: You can do this. BABY STEPS!

by Luke S

( They are playing a futuristic version of Cluedo)
Avon: So I have narrowed it down to Miss White and that it was in the control room, but did she use the arrows or the cash register?

by Luke S

( Dayna dresses up really special to go out on a date and super glues arrows to her hands )
Avon: Since you've met this Edward Scissorhands character you've gotten really strange.

by Luke S

( The lights go out and then suddenly back on )
Avon: And then there were three!

by Luke S

Avon will soon find out what they mean by Fatal Attraction.

by Luke S
Dayna: Come on Vila, don't be a baby, i just want to give u a little poke with the arrow

by VILA

Servalan: "Dayna, where did u get that arrow?"
Dayna: "Why i pulled it out of Avon's head"
Servalan: "Well, make sure u throw it away"
Avon: "NO!! I want it, after all, Tarrent did shoot it into MY head"

by AVON AVON AVON

Dayna: EENY, MEANY, MINY, MOE!
Avon: I hate it when she does that!

by Luke S

Avon: How do you feel?
Vila under the table: I've got this strange pins and needles and arrows feeling!

by Luke S

Priest in background: Ok who has the arrows?
Dayna: I do!
Priest: Ok now I pronounce you divorced as husband and wife! Now you may kill the ex bride!

by Luke S

Dayna: That's two burgers with the lot, a diet coke, one pan galactic gargleblaster and a large fries. Add VAT. That comes to 30 pounds.

by Servalan's Servant

Avon: This is no time to be coy, Dayna. Answer the question! Are you seeing Servalan behind my back?

by Servalan's Servant

Avon: You girl's have a real cheek wearing white.

by Servelan's Servant

Avon: Ladies, when you've finished plucking that
turkey, perhaps you can get it in
the oven before new year.

by John H

Avon: Dayna you have that dress on back to front and your arms not properly in the sleeve. What's a matter with you cant you dress yourself?

by Luke S

Avon and Servalan are playing Existenz

Dayna: DEATH TO ALLEGRAGELLA. DEATH TO THE PYTHON WOMAN!
Servalan: I think she's talking about you there Avon.

by Luke S

Avon: Now listen Dana, if you don't keep with the script me and ugly here are gonna kick your ass after work.

by The Mad Fornicator

Dayna: Does it hurt when I do this?
Vila: [Out of view] Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Servalan: No I feel fine.

by Martin

( Another not so famous episode of Blakes 7 that never aired. The episode that was translated in semaphore and morsecode at the same time.)

by Luke S

( The episode of Blakes 7 that never aired. The episode that was translated in interpretive dancing.)

Dayna: I'm telling you, interpretive dancing is the way of the future. Not speech!
Avon: But what does dancing have to do with arrows and a cash register?

by Luke S

( Dayna with Alzheimers )
Avon: I don't know which is more frightening. The fact that she's forgotten the bow or the fact that she's forgotten which one of us is the actual target!

by Luke S

Avon: That's a bulls eye!
Dayna: I know, i left the rest of the bull on the planet!

by Luke S

Dayna: I have no idea why people liken this show to a space age robin hood saga!

by Luke S

Dayna: My God i wonder who put these here?
Avon: Elementary my dear Dayna. None other than my arch nemesis, Moriati!

by Luke S

The final round of this years `Operation` game contest is nail bitingly close.

Avon "Come on Dayna , you`ve only got the Adam`s apple and funnybone to get"
..............BUZZZZZZZ..............
Servalan "Oh goody , I win again !!!"

by Magic Pebble

Avon on the intercom: Um houston we have a problem!

by Luke S

Dayna: Trying to connect invisible wires to these arrows is not bloody easy!

by Luke S

Dayna: I know what your thinking Vila. Your thinking but she doesn't have a bow. Well do you feel lucky punk? Do you?

by Luke S

Dayna: Pop quiz hot shot. A woman holding two arrows what do you do? What do you do?

by Luke S

Dayna: Well, yes operating on Vila would be safer with scalpels, but these were all I had to hand. And they're not THAT dirty. Honestly. I've only shot four Sarrans with them since last time I washed them.

by Martin

Dayna: its a radox herbal bath gift set. It'll help you unwind after a hard day slaughtering innocents.

Servalan:You shouldn't have. And I mean that. You really shouldnt have.

by cik

Servalan: its a teletubbie. i killed it with my bare hands.

Dayna tickles it with her arrow

Dayna:but hes still an ickle wickle baby waby

by cik

Avon: A bow might help!
Dayna: Don't be silly. How is a bow tie going to help?

by Luke S

Dayna: It's a swiss army arrow!

by Luke S

Dayna: Go go gadget arrows!

by Luke S

Avon holds a pillow under the arrow as a silencer.
Avon: Just be quiet about it!

by Luke S

Avon holds a pillow under the arrow as a silencer!

by Luke S

Avon: Arrows ha! There useless against the beeblebrox you need pillows says Ford.

by Luke S

Dayna: Avon just place your hand on the table I want to show you a party trick that a man called Bishop showed me from a ship called Nostromo. But he uses a knife!

by Luke S

Avon: Dayna's just had enough of this new atm machine eating her card.

by Luke S

Unfortunately for Dayna Avon and Servalan were her only life lines.

by Luke S

Avon: That cash register will go well with the moose!

by Luke S

Avon: As the old saying goes a rose between two thorns.
Dayna: Why thankyou Avon!
Avon: I was talking about me!

by Luke S

( Dayna as cupid )
Dayna: That's it i've had enough of you looking at me. Your about to fall in love with this cash register.

by Luke S

Avon: What's the matter?
Dayna: Instead of a bow the BBC give me this stupid rubber band!

by Luke S

A very thirsty and desperate Dayna is about to make two fatal mistakes. First she's going to try and use an arrow as a divining rod and second she'll soon find out why she shouldn't use an arrow as a divining rod, when she remembers that her body is made up of mostly water.

by Luke S

Dayna: Hey look, when I poke this cash till with an arrow, Servalan's knuckles turn into a prism.

by Martin

AVON: Nuts, this dialogue is almost as formless as your outfit Dayna. I'm off to the pub!

by The Amazing Chaffinch

Famous Outtake Clip: Ms Simon cuts the cheese.

by The Amazing Chaffinch

DAYNA: As a weapon, these arrows are pointless.

AVON: Who is writing your stuff, Mel Brooks?

by The Amazing Chaffinch

DAYNA: Ker-Plunk, anyone?

by The Amazing Chaffinch

AVON: Who loves ya, baby?

by The Amazing Chaffinch

SERVALAN: Avon, get your hand off my bum at once!...er... well, in a minute then.

by The Amazing Chaffinch

SERVALAN: Gah! I always hated 'What's My Line.'

by The Amazing Chaffinch

AVON: What do you mean, you always wanted to be Ringo?

by The Amazing Chaffinch

DAYNA: Will that be all madam?
SERVALAN: Yes, thank you...although, maybe I should get a bow to go with those arrows?
AVON: Get a B!@@%# move on you two - I have a ship to catch - 8 items or less indeed!!!

by Cheryl

Avon: She just simply hates micro organisms!

by Luke S

Little did Dayna know that she would have to use fire arrows to melt the ice so that she could press the button which would reveal a hidden treasure chest which contains a silver key that opens the dungeon door where she will have to fight the big boss!

by Luke S

Dayna kills the mouse.
Avon: That was the wrong mouse!

by Luke S

Avon: Why are you using arrows on a computer?
Dayna: Because I don't want to catch a virus!

by Luke S

Servalan: This new microsoft antivirus detector is hideous I tell you.

by Luke S

Avon: That's not being user friendly!

by Luke S

Even though Dayna attcks a cash register with arrows. Avon still finds it hard not to look at Dayna's sexy shoulder.

by Luke S

Avon: That's a very tiny turkey you have there. Never mind. Bring out the microscope and we will have it stuffed!

by Luke S

Avon: Hold still, Dayna, there's an alien life form crawling up your cheek...
Servalan: No there isn't, I just sneezed when we walked in.

by Martin

Dayna: The Sarran's missed me, but their arrows buggered this cash till good and proper.

by Martin

So far this months kill count:

ONE CASH REGISTER.
A COUPLE OF FLIES.
VILA.
AVON.
SERVALAN.
ONE GOLDFISH.
ONE CRISPYDUCK.
ONE GIANT TURKEY.
ONE PSI.
SOOLIN.
ONE BULL.
ONE DUCK THAT IS NOT CRISPY.
AND A RABBIT THAT WAS NOT IN SEASON.

by Luke S

Dayna: So let me get this right. Your suggesting Avon and yourself and me and you want two arrows and a cash register in it. Thats just too damn kinky for me!

by Luke S

Avon: Only 3% of the universes population suffer with cashianolophobia. The fear of cash registers and you had to be one of them!
Dayna: Well this one is yellow!

by Luke S

Dayna hold up a quickie mart!

by Luke S

Dayna: Look guys not only is the pen mightier than the sword it is also mightier than the arrows.
Avon: Your an idiot!

by Luke S

Avon: How the hell did you shoot yourself in both hands?

by Luke S

Soolin on the floor: There has to be a better way of getting my ears pierced.

by Luke S

Avon: This arrow plated suit BETTER WORK!

by Luke S

Dayna gets a job doing Demtel

Dayna: Wait! Theres more not only will you get this arrow but you'll get another one absolutely free and if you buy now we will throw in this cash register!

by Luke S

Servalan "I believe you have an offer on these special Christmas twigs"
Dayna "That`s right , free fairy lights with every purchase madam. Anything else?"
Avon "Crackers !!!"

by Magic Pebble

Dana: So, I heard you two did the wild thing. Is that true?

by Penny Pimples

Servalan: For Gods sake hurry up and toss the salad Dana, I'm starving
Avon: Shut up Servalan, five more ponds and you won't fit into that dress.

by Izzystildead

Servalan: [Whispers] If you stare at her long enough her forehead bleeds.

by Martin

Avon: Dayna, if you insist on trapping rodents with those things, fine, but at least keep your eyes open when you throw them.

by Martin

Vila and Blaarg are fighting under the table.
Avon: Aren't you going to do something?
Dayna: I would, but I might hit Blaarg.

by Luke S

Dayna: Shhhhh I'm concentrating. I'm about to get it.
Avon: That's your shadow you idiot!

by Luke S

Avon: What are you doing with those arrows?
Dayna: These aren't arrows they are giant toothpicks for Blaarg.
Servalan: Who is Blaarg?
Dayna: The monster under the table!
Blaarg: ( Roars )
Avon and Servalan: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

by Luke S

Dayna: What are you two looking at?
Avon: That's what we are trying to work out.

by Luke S

Avon: You were suppose to catch lunch.
Dayna: I did. When I hit the bull, you said" Bulls eye." So i cut it out and brought it back.

by Luke S

Dayna: Hey look, Sensei! I caught the fly in the chopsticks...!
Avon: Grrr, it beginner's luck.

by Martin

Avon: I thought Terry Nation was kidding when he said this show was "Robin Hood in Space."
Servalan: This is embarrassing.

by Martin

Dayna: Har har har...
Servalan: C'mon Avon, you can do it.
Avon: Yes! I can!
Dayna: HA! I don't believe it.
Avon: It's true. EUREKA! After years of research, I have achieved the mystical super-power of x-ray vision! And now I can see right through Dayna's dress.

by Martin

Dayna: Its Servalan and Avon season!

by Luke S

Avon: It's duck season.
Servalan: It's rabbit season.
Avon: DUCK!
Servalan: RABBIT!

by Luke S

Vila under the table: Did I ever tell you that I'm allergic to pain.
Dayna: Dont worry you wont feel a thing.
Vila: I wont feel anything? Oh my god your going to kill me aren't you?

by Luke S

Dayna: This wont a bit.
Vila under the table: Yeah I know. It'll hurt a lot!

by Luke S

Avon: HOW!

by Luke S

it's a message, it's from Robin (hood)

by THE MASTERS OF CHEESE

Avon: They did not nickname the Sagittarius constellation after you?

by Luke S

Dayna: I'm a Sagittarius and my horoscope tells me that today I have to look out for cash registers!

by Luke S

Avon: Your using the wrong end of the paint brush!

by Luke S

Avon: I dont think its going to fight back!

by Luke S

KILL COUNT: ONE CASH REGISTER.

by Luke S

Dayna: The only way out of this caption competition that i see is to take out our voice boxes.
Avon: So your going to shoot us in the voice box with those arrows. ARE YOU CRAZY?

by Luke S

Avon: They are the biggest damn splinters i've ever seen. Get a hacksaw!

by Luke S

Avon: I thought you were playing cowboys and indians with Soolin. Where is she?
Dayna: Well she's not as quick as she thought.

by Luke S

Avon: I'm straight as an arrow I tell you, straight!

by Luke S

Avon: What are you doing?
Dayna: I'm sending some hate mail!

by Luke S

As Dayna shoots Avon blows into her ear putting her right off.

Avon: Well least the bow hit the target!

by Luke Sutton

Avon: I'm not standing with no apple on my head!

by Luke Sutton

Dayna: "Price check, one child's William Tell kit."

by Bobster

Avon: "Some Soda Stream!"

by Bobster

Avon held back his grimace & hoped Dayna was telling the truth when she told him that large acupuncture needles would cure his itchy penis

by Lord Jimmy Savile

Dayna: If you concentrate. You can get flies this way I tell you.

by Luke Sutton

After an eerie and long silence from Psi's captioning. Avon and Servalan deduce who Dayna just shot!

by Luke Sutton

As she fits explosive tips onto her arrows. Dayna in a Sylvester Stallone type voice says: I'm afraid I can't. My war is over.

by Luke Sutton

Dayna on loud speaker: I need a price check for the Klingon pregnancy test.
Avon: It's $4.45. I tell you.
Dayna: I've got to make sure and put it on the loud speaker so that everyone else can hear! ( Smirks )
Servalan: You wretched child.

by Luke Sutton

Dayna doing her morning Sermon

Dayna: The Bible says that the love of money is like stabbing yourself over with many pains. I would just like to illustrate this with a live demonstration. Avon and Servalan. Can you please step forward.

by Luke Sutton

After Dayna runs around the ship with arrows in her back and hair and shouting: Indians are coming! Indians are coming!
Avon gets really serious and says: That wasn't funny!

by Luke Sutton

Avon: Just because you painted that cash register yellow. Tv viewers will never fall for it when we try and tell them that it is really space station alpha beta.
Dayna: Yes they will havent you ever heard of the power of suggestion.
Servalan: And what are you doing with those arrows?
Dayna: These aren't arrows. They are skud missiles!

by Luke Sutton

Avon: Those are the biggest Damn Voodoo needles I've ever seen. But wheres the dolls?
Dayna: You don't use dolls with these needles! (Smirks to herself).

by Luke Sutton

Dayna is being interviewed for the employment of a checkout assistant. Avon and Servalan are the managers.
Avon: So do you know how to use a cash register?
Dayna: No! But if any one tries to hold us up. I can take them out with these arrows.
Servalan: Your hired! Your just the person we're looking for.

by Luke Sutton

Dayna: I just finished reading a book its called ' Idiots guide to accupuncture!'

by Luke Sutton

Avon: What a strange planet this is. Where arrows are used as currency!

by Luke Sutton

Avon: What are you smiling about?
Dayna: Someone sent me a bouquet of arrows and they say that romance is dead!

by Luke Sutton

Vila grimaces painfully on the floor as Dayna pulls out the poisonous darts from his backside.
Dayna: If some one doesn't suck out the poison in five minutes your going to die.
Vila: So what's going to happen then?
Dayna: Didn't you hear me? Your going to die!

by Luke Sutton

Cash Register: Ching, ching, chong.... ching, ching changga ching.
Avon: Dayna what are you doing with those arrows?
Cash Register: CHING CHJING CHONG CHING CHING.
Dayna: This cash register is playing up and it's about to go down I tell you. DOWN!

by Luke Sutton

Dayna: Call me cupid!
Avon: Why's that?
Dayna: Because if you fall in love with Servalan I'll be forced to shoot both of you.

by Luke Sutton

Avon: Um Dayna. Why do those arrows have our names on them?

by Luke Sutton

Dayna the checkout chick: And would you like fries with that?

by Luke Sutton

Servalan:what in the world are you doing?!!
Dayna:Sticking your bow and arrows in this here pudding,ohh it was all avon's idea

by Don

Dayna:So servalan,I hear avon has a crush on you
Avon: (blushing) be quiet dayna,don't be a fool.
Servalan:ohh what was that?
Avon:she was just rehearsing for a play that will have a roll for "servalan".

by Don

Avon: Servalan, do you see Qupid too?

by Ewan

Dayna: Yes, Vila, well you shouldn't have called the Chief a wet ponce, should you? Now lie still while I get these arrows out of your bum.

by Martin

Servalan: You know, you'd type a lot faster if you just used your fingers instead.

by Martin

With a flourish, Dayna plucks the last two feathers from the giant turkey.

by Roderick

Avon: "Hey, wheres my Christmas present? Dayona got a pair of arrows and Servalan got a yellow tonka truck" <Stamps feet> "I wanna pressy" <sulk>

by Paul Maddox

Avon and Servalan suddenly realise that they've been hustled by an "Operation" Grand Master

by Johnny Boy

Theres a small queue waiting for Dayna to finish her game of Space Invaders. Unfortunately shes having trouble killing them.

by Simon

Avon and Servalan are once again annoyed at Dayna's childish habit of hiding the Scrabble board.

by Steve R

Servalan: Oh what ghastly ear-rings, there so tacky! And that dress you're wearing! It makes you look like a tart. And, uurrgghh, that make-up is just hideous...
Avon: No Servalan, that's a mirror, Dayna's over here.

by Martin

Servalan: Avon, you're standing on the hem of my dress.

by Martin

Avon: Excuse me, we're looking for Dayna Mellanby, where can we find her?
Dayna: Just follow the arrows.
[Boom boom]

by Martin

Servalan: [Sings} Go left, go right, go pick up sticks, go left, go... No, Dayna, it's a song, I don't want you to do any of it.

by Martin

Dayna: I see you're both admiring my ear-rings.
Servalan: Is that what they are? I thought a sea-gull got you.

by Martin

[Replacement for earlier caption]
Avon: Servalan, I can see daylight...!

by Martin

Dayna: This "Orac" thing of yours is even less impressive than you said, Avon...
Avon: That's a cash register, you moron!

by Martin

Servalan: No Avon, don't wake her, they say it's dangerous.

by Martin

Avon: Dayna, did you know your left ear's fallen off?

by Martin

Dayna: I'm almost done knitting this thong for you, Avon.
Servalan: Dear God! That thong is SO SMALL...
Avon: *Blush*

by Urza's Mistress

Servalan: Don't you think those chopsticks are a little on the large size for a bowl of crispy duck?

by Martin

Avon: [Whispers] No Servalan, keep staring at her, I bet she'll say "What?" after a moment.

by Martin

Avon: Did you know I can see right through her ears?

by Martin

Dayna: Alright so harpooning a goldfish isn't very dramatic but there's no need to look at me like that.

by Martin

*Dayna tries to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the Xylophone*

Dayna: Listen, Avon, I've almost got it! *dink dink dunk*

by PrincessGrasshopper

Dayna: These sex toys worked GREAT last night, didn't they Avon?
Avon: Shut UP Dana.
Servalan: You little trollop. He's MINE, dammit!

by Princessgrasshopper

"DING DONG!"
Dayna the checkout person: I need the price for these two arrows. The customer says that they were half price but the till isn't bringing them up"

by Simon

Dayna: So Servalan. You, me, and Avon?

by Urza's Mistress

 

Untitled Document

View the Results from the following months

June 2000

July 2000

August 2000


September 2000

October 2000

November 2000


December 2000

January 2001

February 2001

March 2001

April 2001

May 2001

June 2001

July 2001

August 2001

September 2001

November 2001

December 2001

January 2002

 

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