Avon is extremely annoyed that Sarran was advertised as an unspoilt undiscovered paradise off the beaten track, but in reality is infested with overdressed and overbearing tourists who´d kill for a deckchair.
Servalan: (Sings) Stand and Deliver, your money or your life...
Avon: Servalan, I´m afraid you´re a poor substitute for Adam Ant.
In her panic to grab a weapon, Servelan had picked up the extra large corkscrew by mistake!
Time to try out my inflatable Avon lilo.
"The joke´s on you Servalan, I swapped it for a mastic gun. It was worth the mess the plumber made in the Liberator toilets just to tell you that you´re marooned with nothing but silicon sealant to fight your way off this planet."
Servalan: "It´s very simple - all you have to say is "I do.""
OK Servalan, I´ll take back what I said - you are not a stalker...
Avon: Phew! Servalan, where have you been sticking that gun, it stinks.
Servalan: Sorry, I had to scrape some cow poo off my shoe back in that other field.
Avon "Not until you use the magic word"
Avon "I thought I found it hard to ask for directions"
S: "I´m afraid that´s a failed test, sir. Walking at excessive speeds in overly tight leather is code violation."
Servalan: "Get off that computer and look at my new dress. I´m not asking."
Servalan: Don´t Move!... There´s a bug on your cheek.... There, got it.
Avon:its no use servalan, my ego cant get anymore inflated"
Tell me Avon, have you ever been threatened by a cow inseminator before?
Despite being lost in the middle of nowhere, Servalan had to resort to desperate measures to get Avon to let her look at the map.
"It´s your head or your boots, Avon. You decide. My shoes are killing me!"
Servalan: What did you say, Avon?
Avon: I asked if that dress was from the Queen Mother´s rumage sale.
Servalan: That´s what I thought. Prepare to die, Philistine!
"Shoot if you must, Servalan. I will NOT dance a ´Strip the Willow´ with you or anybody else!"
Avon: Make me diet, Servalan. It´s the only thing you can make me do.
Avon (disdainfully): When I want my ears pierced, Servalan, I´ll let you know.
Servalan: Come on, one more tube of whipped cream and we´ve beat the record.
Avon: I can´t, i´m absolutely stuffed, pass the bucket.
"Tag! You´re it!"
SERVALAN: ´say it Avon! say ur haircut is worse....´
Avon: Shooting your mouth off is one thing, Servalan. Shooting mine off is another thing entirely.
Servalan: I know what you´re thinking Avon. Did she fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I´ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a cheap BBC prop, that could explode any second, and would blow your head clean off, you´ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?
Servalan "Your money or your life"
Avon "Do you take American Express ?"
Servalan "That`ll do nicely"
Paul "Jackie !"
Jackie "You don`t seem surprised to see me Paul"
Paul "Why should I be , i`m at my caravan in Filey , outside the holiday season , it`s cold and there`s no other bugger on the beach , fancy a chocolate cornetto ?"
Servalan "Tell me where you`ve hidden my jelly babies and i`ll let you go"
Avon "Vila ate them all"
Servalan "Then we`re going shopping , move !"
Servalan thought that her new blow-up doll looked like being a good investment, however she was beginning to wish that she´d bought the optional electric pump instead.
The sealant gun worked perfectly to reattach Avon´s head, Servelean wondered if she would have enough left to go round the windows of Residence one!
Avon was dubious about the industrial strength black-head remover, and even more dubious about the "beautician" wielding it... Still, beauty is pain.