Gan: Hey, listen to this - Iīve got the B7 theme music as my new ringtone!
Vila: You are a sad, sad man....
Vila: Bad news?
Gan: Yes Vila,it is. Iīve been sacked. I will be killed off before the end of season two.
Vila: See,what did I tell you? Go for the canīt miss parts like Vila or Avon,and be a star. But,oh no, you wanted to be the he-man of this outfit. Look what it got you. You ended up a badly written dead lackey. I think...
Gan: I think you need to shut up now!!!!
Vila: May I have your trailer?
It`s a text message for you, Vila... " Come back my hunk of
burning love, all is forgiven. Your sex-starved slave, Servalan.
I already have your number in my little black book thanks sweetie.
Vila: You see Gan, itīs true. Blake really is spending most of our budget on bribing the votes on this competition.
Gan: So thatīs why my limiter came from a ZX81.
Vila: Er, Gan, your limiterīs making a sort of thumping sound...
Gan: Yeah, think the phoneīs about to ring...
Vila: Gan, please stop sending that text and listen... Gan? Gan? Oi... Gan...
Villa: I was looking at the votes for the finished captions and the percentages dont seem to add up to 100%.
Gan: Youre right Villa. Hmmm.......
Vilaīs second attempt to use the miniaturized Orac to cheat at gambling didnīt work so well with Gan as his partner.
Vila: "Gan! If you were going to sit down, you shouldnīt have put Orac in your back pocket!"
Vila: Sorry, Gan, I donīt think Oracīs key has a "mute" button.
Gan: OOOO! Yippy!!! a text message!!
See , told ya it wouldn`t work Gan
Even Avon can`t get an MSDOS game
to work in Windows XP !!!
Gan: I STILL canīt work out this dimmer control. Vila: Iīll HAVE to ask Avon then, these corridor lights are giving me migraines!
VILA: You know, Gan, Iīm going to miss you when you die - oops. People are NOT supposed to know that... Sorry, Gan.
GAN: Never mind, Vila. No one listens to you anyway.
With his huge fingers, Gan found it hard to select just one viscast channel
GAN: According to this, Avonīs been sending text messages to Servalan.
VILA: Typical - and he said he didnīt have enough credit to order a pizza!
Villa: The man said it could receive 1200 TV channels on it, But all I can get is reruns of the Flintstones
Gan: Hey this is a good episode, I like Fred.
Villa: Orac and Avon dont like my new Electronic book, what do you think?
Gann: Hey this is really amazing Villa. I especially like the cover Dont Panic.
Vila: Come on Gan, you said I could have a go on your Gameboy twenty minutes ago.
Gan: Patience Vila, Iīm on level twelve.
Vila: So tell me again why we need an automatic garage door opener.
Ashamed of your mobile?
Youīve got to be kidding! Thatīll not make us rich.
GAN: Well, Iīve set up the video link to Jennaīs cabin, and it looks like she and Cally are playing Cluedo.
VILA: Huh, thatīs another fiver I owe you.
Vila: What do you mean weīve got a parking ticket?
Vila: I didnīt do it, it just fell off the console! Gan: It doesnīt look important. Vila: Donīt tell Blake then, just hide in Zenīs cupboard.
Gan: Hmmmm... "U R ALL D3AD, KILL U L8R... HATE, TRAVIS. XXX"
Vila: So? Gan: The phoneīs nice alright, but Iīve been feeling odd since I installed this plug-in-the-head receiver
Vila: Youīll never get reception here.
Gan: I wonder what happens if I press this button?
Vila: I wouldnīt if I were you.
Gan: Oh! A sign lit up saying "Please do not press this button again".
Vila: Iīm telling you thereīs something seriously wrong with this straight jacket.
Gan: Well thereīs just hold music from the makerīs helpline.
Gan: Well I canīt get your palm top to send e-mail either Vila. Why donīt you ask Avon?
Vila: I did, thatīs why he cut my arms off!
Vila: Gan much as I appreciate your Auntie making this top for me, she made the sleeves far too short, and as for the chest...
Gan: Iīm ringing h
The plans for Vilaīs new remote controlled, electric power suit were scuppered by a dead battery.
Vila: How come you get all the naughty text messages?
G: According to this the clothing budget works out to Ģ3-74.
V: That would explain why my jacket doesnīt do up properly
It was no use, despite Ganīs best efforts they just couldnīt find the porn channels.
Villa and Gan attempt to form a kraftwerk tribute band.
gan "By pressing down a special key, it plays a little meldoy"
Gan: Nearly Ģ5 for a bleedinī packet of fags!
V: Well, itīs my first draft...
G: "Once upon a time there was a lovely little sausage called īBaldrickī, and it lived happily ever after." Thatīs awful, Vila!
V: Well itīs my
G: "Young, handsome male seeks 20īs female for fun and thievery." Young and handsome?!? Vila, who are you kidding...
David Jackson: Iīm sorry Michael but Terry Nations number is still engaged!
G: Susan? No, she doesnīt like bald men. Gillie? No, youīre too old for her. No.. no.. hmm. Sorry, Vila. None of the girls in my book would go out wit
VILA: And would you believe, Avon wrote it all down in his diary afterwards. Blimmin cheek.
GAN: Oh I donīt know, Vila. Heīs given you eight