Hower begins to regret pigging out at the:
Big Bang Burger Bar
All you can eat for 50 credits
............"Your anti-indigestion drink sir"
Years before Bender, Allan Prior developed the worldīs first alcoholic robot.
Hower: But I asked for a FEMALE sex robot to be sent. Oh well, I suppose beggars canīt be choosers.
Hower: Iīm sorry, Gort, but weīve already adopted a code of pacifism on this planet. Why donīt you try Earth?
The green cross code convention gets into full swing
You know, you Jehovah Witnessesī will do ANYTHING to get through the door!!
Batmanīs early costumes didnīt quite have that menacing quality Alfred had expected.
Robot: Iīve come to see you about that Aibo dog you advertised. I have some electric sheep that need rounding up.
Hower was beginning to dimly perceive that companions tended to run off whenever he revealed his huge silver manservant
TABLEAU NO 173847: SERVICE OF THE FUTURE
Howerīs nights at the Black Hole bar on Mars were frequently ruined by the new android service bots which refilled guestīs glasses from their crotches, or worse
Android: And as you can see I canīt serve the old Red eye today
Hower: Wait! Watch it again... when the light goes blue he punches me in the back of the head and I catch my false teeth in the paper b-
Guest: Sorry Hower, but I am SO bored my left arm has fallen off, BYE!
Robosistant: Do you want fries with that?
Robosistant: Will that be Diet Coke?
Robosistant: Do you want to SuperSize your Coke?
Robosistant: Have you heard about our GalactaMeal offer?
Robosistant: Will you be paying by Instacredits?
Robosistant: Do you want Cashback?
Hower: n o
Robosistant: Have a NICE day, enjoy your meal!
Hower: Bah, itīs cold.
Robistant: Would sir like a replacement? (...)
Guest: Iīm off to get a Chinese!
TABLEAU NO 565: IMMIGRATION OF THE FUTURE
In order to sneak into Scotland now, one must either have red hair, red face, red eyebrows and a dour disposition, or be entirely covered in tin foil.
The Blue Peter Fan Club`s New Years Eve Party 3003
And it`s the paper bag over the head time for Bob
when even the Valerie Singleton lookalike decides to make a run for it !
"Sorry Iīm late, sir - I was dyeing one of Avonīs old costumes when I fell into the vat..."
TABLEAU NO 564: FOOD OF THE FUTURE
Long after his companions had deserted him in order to vomit or seek swift medical attention, Hower still sat and listened in interest as the Robot continued itīs description of the contents of his Spacecoke.
Android: Your laxative, sir
Hower: Hmmm urrr yes, I really just *have* to poo. Peace and quiet donīt do any good for constipation
Father Jack: Feck, arse, girls
Father Ted (remotely): Now Iīm going to let the robot give you your whisky...
Father Jack: Drink, drink, drink!
Father Ted (remotely): And then youīre going off the see the nuns..
Father Jack: grrrrrrrrrrr! (sounds like a volcano)
Break the in space time continuum
Hower: Heeeeeyyyy, peace man, your threads, like, itīs soooo cool
Robot: Here is a heavy dose of your stimulants which should keep you mooged out for at least a week by which time the filming should be completed
Hower: OK, yeah, whatever!
Break the in space time continuum
Hower: "That costumeīs terrible! You donīt even have a surfboard!"
Android: I hold the glass correctly now, affirmative?
Hower: Yes, yes!
Android: Now what do I do?
Hower: Raise the glass towards your mouth... without spilling it... God, canīt wait to get you rat-arsed...
Unidentified BBC Object
Guest: Well, happy birthday Hower, ooh is that the time, have to ... err .. wash my hair.
Hower: No, no, please, another game of vertical Solitaire? Big Screen Tetris? Another boiled sweet? Have my automated masseur attend to your every -
The 2003 remake of Battlestar Galactica was very disappointing
The robot had been rejected countless times for Dr Who programmes, buried in the BBC props dept, resurrected, made to wait for at least 2 seasons of Blakeīs long-winded speeches about freedom, and now, finally, when it was handed a chance to prove itīs thespian talents, Hower would blow it up
It was very difficult for Hower to say anything with a gobstopper in his mouth
Unfortunately for the BBC budget, this scene cost many hundreds to shoot due to a very bad case of actorīs block, and was only cured when the droid was made to wear a blue rather than a red light
The Restaurant At the Most Boring Middle Part of the Universe didnīt really turn out to be quite as successful as the others for Millibrands
The Windoze 3000 robot wasnīt very impressive - Hower had moved the drinks table to a different location and now the stupid thing couldnīt find it...
Hower: "Ok, you be the cyberman, and now Iīm going to offer you a jelly baby..."
Servant: "Sorry your sandwiches are in a bag again, sir, but Iīve used up all the bacofoil for my costume."
Hower: "Report to the oven immediately."
Hower: What issue android are you?
Android: Anglo-Saxon pre-Federation calendar, Sutton Hoo type 600AD
Hower: Now youīre getting a little too close. I have a job for you.
Robot: I am programmed to accept it.
Hower: Could you fish my false teeth out of this puke, thereīs a good fellow?
Hower: Have you, sir, ever heard of Brownian motion?
Hower: Well, sir, the fashion of these times is brown. What the deuce are you doing pottering about in silver?
Robot: Itīs for best, sir
Hower: Mmmmgagh mmgagh
Robot: yes, Iīm just waiting until you finish puking into that bag sir before I serve more of the same
Hower: Is that you under there Travis? Typical, another crap disguise.
Hower: Whatīs going on? I distinctly remember ordering a robot with nipples!
Robot: Wait till you see what I have under my belt..
Hower knew it was time to press the button when even his robots were begging for small change.
Before they were famous: that robot from ~Futurama.
By the way, I loved you in the Wizard of Oz!
That is it!
The next time you bring me tuna without mayonnaise Iīm putting you on ebay.
So how long are you going to stay in that suit bin laden?
"I say I say I say, we call our robot īHitlerī."
"Whyīs that then?"
"Coz heīs only got one ball!"
Hower: "Will you stop calling me Artoo, you stupid droid!"
Not even the speed-skater could cheer him up.
"I never thought Iīd see the day when I see a robot with a control panel on the crotch and myself carrying a brown paper bag-for no apparent reason."
Michael Gough was depressed. Heīd just had a vision that one day heīd be the one serving the drinks to a man in rubber.
Hower sighed as he realised this was about as exciting as the office xmas party was going to get
Hower: Good lord, man, what happened to you since last time Waverley?
Waverley: My nasal hair caught fire whilst serving flambe Melamonkey
Hower was quite impressed by the silver manīs model but he only came in for a haircut.
The cyber 6000 android... can process 2 billion calculations per second, has the strength of 100 men, the skill of a pro assasin, can translate 2000 languages and contains the knowledge of the universe....
Android: Hereīs your tea sir, would you like me to make you some sandwiches?
He wondered what would happen if he pressed the blue button...
He was so drugged up, he hadnīt even noticed the old man growing out of his arse.
He was so drugged up, he hadnīt even noticed the golden monkey growing out of his chest.
The old man wondered why, when theyīd made everything else out of gold, theyīd made the robo-waiter out of silver.
Itīs true! Jeeves and Wooster were successfully reincarnated in the distant future!
JEEVES ANDROID: Most disturbing sir.
"Tia Maria sir?"
Was it a Cyberman? Or was it a trap? Or was it something else entirely?
Plankton! Sea greens! and protein from the sea!
Over thousands of years Starbucks had become a very strange place...
It was time to wake up the gimp...