Blakes 7 Caption Competition
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Competition 59
This competition ended on: 10th January 2004

The voting for this competition has ended.
The results of this caption competition are as follows:

TOTAL VOTES: 13


It was time to wake up the gimp...

AI

Percentage of vote= 15%
Before they were famous: that robot from ~Futurama.

doomwatching eyepatch

Percentage of vote= 8%
Hower: "Will you stop calling me Artoo, you stupid droid!"

Futsie

Percentage of vote= 8%
Hower: Is that you under there Travis? Typical, another crap disguise.

Eighth Member

Percentage of vote= 8%
Over thousands of years Starbucks had become a very strange place...

backdoor_uk

Percentage of vote= 8%
Plankton! Sea greens! and protein from the sea!

BlakNo1

Percentage of vote= 8%
Hower: Now youīre getting a little too close. I have a job for you.
Robot: I am programmed to accept it.
Hower: Could you fish my false teeth out of this puke, thereīs a good fellow?

Tariel Yell

Percentage of vote= 8%
Batmanīs early costumes didnīt quite have that menacing quality Alfred had expected.

Patrick

Percentage of vote= 8%
Robot: Iīve come to see you about that Aibo dog you advertised. I have some electric sheep that need rounding up.

Patrick

Percentage of vote= 8%
Robosistant: Do you want fries with that?
Hower: No.
Robosistant: Will that be Diet Coke?
Hower: NO.
Robosistant: Do you want to SuperSize your Coke?
Hower: NO!
Robosistant: Have you heard about our GalactaMeal offer?
Hower: No...

(later...)

Robosistant: Will you be paying by Instacredits?
Hower: Nooooo....
Robosistant: Do you want Cashback?
Hower: n o
Robosistant: Have a NICE day, enjoy your meal!
Hower: Bah, itīs cold.

Robistant: Would sir like a replacement? (...) Guest: Iīm off to get a Chinese!

BouncingAyatollah

Percentage of vote= 8%
Hower begins to regret pigging out at the:

Big Bang Burger Bar

All you can eat for 50 credits

Night

............"Your anti-indigestion drink sir"

Magic Pebble

Percentage of vote= 8%
Michael Gough was depressed. Heīd just had a vision that one day heīd be the one serving the drinks to a man in rubber.

Craig

Percentage of vote= 8%


Here are all of the captions in the competition:

Hower begins to regret pigging out at the:

Big Bang Burger Bar

All you can eat for 50 credits

Night

............"Your anti-indigestion drink sir"

Magic Pebble


Years before Bender, Allan Prior developed the worldīs first alcoholic robot.

Patrick


Hower: But I asked for a FEMALE sex robot to be sent. Oh well, I suppose beggars canīt be choosers.

Patrick


Hower: Iīm sorry, Gort, but weīve already adopted a code of pacifism on this planet. Why donīt you try Earth?

Patrick


The green cross code convention gets into full swing


Magic Pebble


You know, you Jehovah Witnessesī will do ANYTHING to get through the door!!

AvonsGirl27


Batmanīs early costumes didnīt quite have that menacing quality Alfred had expected.

Patrick


Robot: Iīve come to see you about that Aibo dog you advertised. I have some electric sheep that need rounding up.

Patrick


Hower was beginning to dimly perceive that companions tended to run off whenever he revealed his huge silver manservant

Eighth Member


TABLEAU NO 173847: SERVICE OF THE FUTURE
Howerīs nights at the Black Hole bar on Mars were frequently ruined by the new android service bots which refilled guestīs glasses from their crotches, or worse

Cracked tiles


Android: And as you can see I canīt serve the old Red eye today
Hower: blast

frozen genetalia


Hower: Wait! Watch it again... when the light goes blue he punches me in the back of the head and I catch my false teeth in the paper b-
Guest: Sorry Hower, but I am SO bored my left arm has fallen off, BYE!

BouncingAyatollah


Robosistant: Do you want fries with that?
Hower: No.
Robosistant: Will that be Diet Coke?
Hower: NO.
Robosistant: Do you want to SuperSize your Coke?
Hower: NO!
Robosistant: Have you heard about our GalactaMeal offer?
Hower: No...

(later...)

Robosistant: Will you be paying by Instacredits?
Hower: Nooooo....
Robosistant: Do you want Cashback?
Hower: n o
Robosistant: Have a NICE day, enjoy your meal!
Hower: Bah, itīs cold.

Robistant: Would sir like a replacement? (...) Guest: Iīm off to get a Chinese!

BouncingAyatollah


TABLEAU NO 565: IMMIGRATION OF THE FUTURE
In order to sneak into Scotland now, one must either have red hair, red face, red eyebrows and a dour disposition, or be entirely covered in tin foil.

Cracked Tiles


The Blue Peter Fan Club`s New Years Eve Party 3003

And it`s the paper bag over the head time for Bob
when even the Valerie Singleton lookalike decides to make a run for it !

Magic Pebble


"Sorry Iīm late, sir - I was dyeing one of Avonīs old costumes when I fell into the vat..."

Futsie


TABLEAU NO 564: FOOD OF THE FUTURE
Long after his companions had deserted him in order to vomit or seek swift medical attention, Hower still sat and listened in interest as the Robot continued itīs description of the contents of his Spacecoke.

Cracked tiles


Android: Your laxative, sir
Hower: Hmmm urrr yes, I really just *have* to poo. Peace and quiet donīt do any good for constipation

Eighth Member


Father Jack: Feck, arse, girls
Father Ted (remotely): Now Iīm going to let the robot give you your whisky...
Father Jack: Drink, drink, drink!
Father Ted (remotely): And then youīre going off the see the nuns..
Father Jack: grrrrrrrrrrr! (sounds like a volcano)

Break the in space time continuum


Hower: Heeeeeyyyy, peace man, your threads, like, itīs soooo cool
Robot: Here is a heavy dose of your stimulants which should keep you mooged out for at least a week by which time the filming should be completed
Hower: OK, yeah, whatever!

Break the in space time continuum


Hower: "That costumeīs terrible! You donīt even have a surfboard!"

Futsie


Android: I hold the glass correctly now, affirmative?
Hower: Yes, yes!
Android: Now what do I do?
Hower: Raise the glass towards your mouth... without spilling it... God, canīt wait to get you rat-arsed...

Unidentified BBC Object


Guest: Well, happy birthday Hower, ooh is that the time, have to ... err .. wash my hair.
Hower: No, no, please, another game of vertical Solitaire? Big Screen Tetris? Another boiled sweet? Have my automated masseur attend to your every -
CLUNK!
Hower: Bugger.

BouncingAyatollah


The 2003 remake of Battlestar Galactica was very disappointing

BouncingAyatollah


The robot had been rejected countless times for Dr Who programmes, buried in the BBC props dept, resurrected, made to wait for at least 2 seasons of Blakeīs long-winded speeches about freedom, and now, finally, when it was handed a chance to prove itīs thespian talents, Hower would blow it up

Tariel Yell


It was very difficult for Hower to say anything with a gobstopper in his mouth

Tariel Yell


Unfortunately for the BBC budget, this scene cost many hundreds to shoot due to a very bad case of actorīs block, and was only cured when the droid was made to wear a blue rather than a red light

Eighth Member


The Restaurant At the Most Boring Middle Part of the Universe didnīt really turn out to be quite as successful as the others for Millibrands

Eighth Member


The Windoze 3000 robot wasnīt very impressive - Hower had moved the drinks table to a different location and now the stupid thing couldnīt find it...

Futsie


Hower: "Ok, you be the cyberman, and now Iīm going to offer you a jelly baby..."

Futsie


Servant: "Sorry your sandwiches are in a bag again, sir, but Iīve used up all the bacofoil for my costume."
Hower: "Report to the oven immediately."

Futsie


Hower: What issue android are you?
Android: Anglo-Saxon pre-Federation calendar, Sutton Hoo type 600AD

Pearly Gates


Hower: Now youīre getting a little too close. I have a job for you.
Robot: I am programmed to accept it.
Hower: Could you fish my false teeth out of this puke, thereīs a good fellow?

Tariel Yell


Hower: Have you, sir, ever heard of Brownian motion?
Robot: Negative
Hower: Well, sir, the fashion of these times is brown. What the deuce are you doing pottering about in silver?
Robot: Itīs for best, sir

Tariel Yell


Hower: Mmmmgagh mmgagh
Robot: yes, Iīm just waiting until you finish puking into that bag sir before I serve more of the same

Tariel yell


Hower: Is that you under there Travis? Typical, another crap disguise.

Eighth Member


Hower: Whatīs going on? I distinctly remember ordering a robot with nipples!
Robot: Wait till you see what I have under my belt..

Eighth Member


Hower knew it was time to press the button when even his robots were begging for small change.

doomwatching eyepatch


Before they were famous: that robot from ~Futurama.

doomwatching eyepatch


By the way, I loved you in the Wizard of Oz!

AvonsGirl27


That is it!
The next time you bring me tuna without mayonnaise Iīm putting you on ebay.

parsley


So how long are you going to stay in that suit bin laden?

parsley


"I say I say I say, we call our robot īHitlerī."
"Whyīs that then?"
"Coz heīs only got one ball!"

Futsie


Hower: "Will you stop calling me Artoo, you stupid droid!"

Futsie


Not even the speed-skater could cheer him up.

Craig


"I never thought Iīd see the day when I see a robot with a control panel on the crotch and myself carrying a brown paper bag-for no apparent reason."

Rachel


Michael Gough was depressed. Heīd just had a vision that one day heīd be the one serving the drinks to a man in rubber.

Craig


Hower sighed as he realised this was about as exciting as the office xmas party was going to get

MadMat


Hower: Good lord, man, what happened to you since last time Waverley?
Waverley: My nasal hair caught fire whilst serving flambe Melamonkey

Tariel Yell


Hower was quite impressed by the silver manīs model but he only came in for a haircut.

doomwatcher


The cyber 6000 android... can process 2 billion calculations per second, has the strength of 100 men, the skill of a pro assasin, can translate 2000 languages and contains the knowledge of the universe....

Android: Hereīs your tea sir, would you like me to make you some sandwiches?

MadMat


He wondered what would happen if he pressed the blue button...

AI


He was so drugged up, he hadnīt even noticed the old man growing out of his arse.

Craig


He was so drugged up, he hadnīt even noticed the golden monkey growing out of his chest.

Craig


The old man wondered why, when theyīd made everything else out of gold, theyīd made the robo-waiter out of silver.

Craig


Itīs true! Jeeves and Wooster were successfully reincarnated in the distant future!
JEEVES ANDROID: Most disturbing sir.

Currer


"Tia Maria sir?"

Currer


Was it a Cyberman? Or was it a trap? Or was it something else entirely?

pjwrench


Plankton! Sea greens! and protein from the sea!

BlakNo1


Over thousands of years Starbucks had become a very strange place...

backdoor_uk


It was time to wake up the gimp...

AI


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