Blakes 7 Caption Competition
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Competition 47
This competition ended on: 30th July 2003

The voting for this competition has ended.
The results of this caption competition are as follows:

TOTAL VOTES: 21


Avon" Our new `Eternity Tours` business idea is a great success Blake ,

trouble is , the driver for the galactic hyper hearse looks more dead than the customers !"

Magic Pebble

Percentage of vote= 19%
Vila: "It says Locutus on the panel"
Avon: "Well I say the implants look highly advanced, who knows what they´re for?"
Blake: "Well I say we should just let him out, what harm can he do?"

BouncingAyatollah

Percentage of vote= 10%
Blake: hello sir, how may i help you?
Avon: I wish to complain about this body what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Blake: ah, uh, what´s wrong with it?
Avon: I´ll tell you what´s wrong with it, my lad. ´E´s dead, that´s what´s wrong with it!
Blake: no, no, ´e´s uh,...he´s resting.

MadMat

Percentage of vote= 10%
After 15 hours Villa´s viagra pills finally kicked in.

Backdoor_uk

Percentage of vote= 5%
Avon: "Blake, if these guardians escape it´ll be brown trousers time!"
Blake: "Avon, this is the 70´s - it´s brown everything time!"

Futsie

Percentage of vote= 5%
Villa: He refuses to leave the filing cabinet unless we let him play Captain.
Avon: I´m telling you, It´s the guy out of Space 1999.

Palyarmerc

Percentage of vote= 5%
Avon: " For the last time,this is the last life-capsule and its mine - bugger off"

ZEN

Percentage of vote= 5%
Avon- What do you mean, this is my new supercomputer, Orac? It looks like a bald dwarf to me.


Marian

Percentage of vote= 5%
It was a tricky moment for Avon, the night when two inquisitive drunks turned up at the back of his kebab shop just as the fresh meat was delivered

MadMat

Percentage of vote= 5%
Vila: If I shut my eyes, I can´t see them, so they can´t see me. I can drink my soma in peace.

Blake: Where´s Vila?

Vila: It works!

Avon: Who said that?

Slave

Percentage of vote= 5%
"And our new extra-large Tupperware comes with a free life-size Picard action figure. It´s a snip at the price, sir!"

Confused Stu

Percentage of vote= 5%
"The Liberator´s in bits all over space, we need a new, state of the art, fighting ship - and Vila has to go and nick a HEARSE..."

De-liberator

Percentage of vote= 5%
Avon: "See that? That´s you that is. That´s you going out on the pull in your best clothes."

Ash

Percentage of vote= 5%
Vila thinking to himself - Avon´s got rather a nice arse.

Rojblake

Percentage of vote= 5%
Avon- I told you cleaning out the attic would be worthwhile, Blake.You wouldn´t *believe* what a mint-condition homicidal maniac in its original packaging will fetch on E-Bay.

Marian

Percentage of vote= 5%
----- CAUTION -----

Never put your hands on a hybernation pod while in use , due to extreme risk of instant freezing ,


as illustrated in example 7a above.

Magic Pebble

Percentage of vote= 5%


Here are all of the captions in the competition:

"And our new extra-large Tupperware comes with a free life-size Picard action figure. It´s a snip at the price, sir!"

Confused Stu


Jesus, I knew British Airways were making cuts, but this is ridiculous!!

Mr-Stabby


Vila thinking to himself - Avon´s got rather a nice arse.

Rojblake


Vila: Thinking to himself...
"I´ve never really looked before, but Avon has got a lovely bum from this angle!"

Tony Manero


Avon- What do you mean, this is my new supercomputer, Orac? It looks like a bald dwarf to me.


Marian


Avon: Blake, I´ll hurt your hand unless you tell me how to get into the box... What´s happening to your eyes?

Blake: Don´t make me angry, you won´t like me when I´m ANGRY!

Slave


Avon: "If you can stand me pinching your hand as hard as I can for 5 minutes we let him out"
Vila: "Right... 4 minutes 50..."
Blake:

BouncingAyatollah


Vila: "It says Locutus on the panel"
Avon: "Well I say the implants look highly advanced, who knows what they´re for?"
Blake: "Well I say we should just let him out, what harm can he do?"

BouncingAyatollah


Avon- ´Right, on the count of three, we release them, and if mine wins the fight, we go to Freedom City.´

Marian


"The Liberator´s in bits all over space, we need a new, state of the art, fighting ship - and Vila has to go and nick a HEARSE..."

De-liberator


"I told you he needed 17 hours and 35 minutes in a 900 watt micro! He´ll still be pink in the middle..."

De-liberator


Avon: "See that? That´s you that is. That´s you going out on the pull in your best clothes."

Ash


Avon: " For the last time,this is the last life-capsule and its mine - bugger off"

ZEN


Avon- Good job I had Gan test Vila´s tanning booth before we tried it, eh, Blake?

Marian


Avon" Our new `Eternity Tours` business idea is a great success Blake ,

trouble is , the driver for the galactic hyper hearse looks more dead than the customers !"

Magic Pebble


----- CAUTION -----

Never put your hands on a hybernation pod while in use , due to extreme risk of instant freezing ,


as illustrated in example 7a above.

Magic Pebble


Vila: If I shut my eyes, I can´t see them, so they can´t see me. I can drink my soma in peace.

Blake: Where´s Vila?

Vila: It works!

Avon: Who said that?

Slave


Avon: All right, Blake, another five minutes and he´ll be ready to go in.
Vila: Whhaaaatt!!

Anne


Avon: Blake, step back carefully. Your perm is like velcro.

Craig


It was a tricky moment for Avon, the night when two inquisitive drunks turned up at the back of his kebab shop just as the fresh meat was delivered

MadMat


Avon- See the difference? I use Miracle-Gro in all my hydroponics.

Marian


Avon: Now listen to me, Blake. This is the last person who accused me of sentiment. Unless you want to be immortalised in perspex, leave me in peace!

Trilby


Blake and Avon argue over the best way to do the old ´sawing a maniac in half´ trick.
Villa is unimpressed.

Backdoor_uk


Avon: now, when they start going a golden-brown give them another 5 minutes then serve with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti
Villa(Hannibal style): slurpurpurpurpurp

MadMat


Vila: (thinks) Thank god no-one´s sent in a caption with the obvious superglue joke.

Blake: What idiot glued our hands to these boxes?

Vila: (thinks) NOOOOOOOO!

Slave


Avon- I told you cleaning out the attic would be worthwhile, Blake.You wouldn´t *believe* what a mint-condition homicidal maniac in its original packaging will fetch on E-Bay.

Marian


Blake- ´I ´heart´ Avon?´
Avon- ´Nova ´spade´ I´ . You´re looking at his tattoo upside down.
Vila-Avon, your pinny is riding up. Hey! Jenna´ blamed *me* when those panties went missing.

Marian


Blake: hello sir, how may i help you?
Avon: I wish to complain about this body what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Blake: ah, uh, what´s wrong with it?
Avon: I´ll tell you what´s wrong with it, my lad. ´E´s dead, that´s what´s wrong with it!
Blake: no, no, ´e´s uh,...he´s resting.

MadMat


Blake: so, where are these bodies you mentioned?
Avon: err... here!

MadMat


Professor Vila: Hello and welcome to History today.

Avon/Professor Lewis: You see that pathetic shell of a man, with the scarred body and the disfigured face, so much that no women could ever love them, not even his mother.

Professor Blake: I am aware of the condition of the poor wretch.

Avon/Professor Lewis: That´s you, that is.
Professor Vila: Sigh….

The Who


After 15 hours Villa´s viagra pills finally kicked in.

Backdoor_uk


Avon-Considering *your* low budget , I think I did quite well with the Rebel Wax Museum.
Blake-You could have put some clothes and a wig on *me* .
Avon- I couldn´t even afford eyeballs for the half-size Vila.

Marian


Avon: THIS is Ben Kingsley?

Craig


Blake: It´s conceptual. It´s a statement and a handy place to put cups.

Avon: I preferred the old coffee table, and Vila won´t come near this one.

Trilby


In a surprise crossover, the Liberator crew discovered more of Mr Bester´s `weapons supplies.´

Craig


Avon: "Blake, if these guardians escape it´ll be brown trousers time!"
Blake: "Avon, this is the 70´s - it´s brown everything time!"

Futsie


Afraid that he would be next, Avon ran, seeing that another thief had nicked Vila´s eyes.

Craig


´Yes, sir, this handy dandy combination enemy compactor and juice-extractor will not only keep your ship tidy, it will produce healthful nutrient solutions easily added to your favourite adrenaline and soma recipe.´

Marian


Avon: i think we´re going to need buffy for this one

MadMat


Avon(softly): blake, i know this isn´t a good time but... i do love you, you know that don´t you

MadMat


Extra: Mr Darrow, could you please wear underwear for these scenes.

Ash


Who would wake up Snow White? Grumpy, Dopey or Sarcy?

Raff


"Mmm... nice ass."

Raff


Avon: Blake, whatever you do, don´t wake them up, or they´ll try to kill Jenna and Gan when we´re on the planet.

Blake: (sarcastic) yeah right.

Avon: And then they’ll use the gene stock in the back of the pod to grow new homicidal maniacs.

Blake: (sarcastic) yeah, homicidal maniacs, of course.

Avon: Blake, are you taking this seriously?

Blake: Whenever you speak all I hear is "Bleegh, Bleegh"! Vila: not again...

The Who


Avon- " I will now close the magic cabinet, say the mystical words and my volunteer from the audience will be transformed into a beautiful, scantily clad, woman."

Marian


Vila: "I´d stay in there if I were you, mate... Avon´s just dropped his guts!"

Futsie


Avon: "It´ll take several hours for this one to thaw out... you can start chopping the onions..."

Futsie


Avon: Out of my way, I forgot to take my apron off.

Craig


Villa: He refuses to leave the filing cabinet unless we let him play Captain.
Avon: I´m telling you, It´s the guy out of Space 1999.

Palyarmerc


Avon: I´m telling you Blake! If we can keep Patrick Stewart here, Hollywood´s ours!


Palyarmerc


Vila "Avon, are you wearing a pink thong?"

RojBlake


Avon: Blake, you can have that one, I´ll have this one, Vila´ll have to go without.

Vila: (sighs) Again?

Slave


Avon showed the boys his favourite hobby-being a taxidermist.

Blake: Not bad, not bad.

Avon


A split second later, Vila will be reminding them not to get up so quickly again.

Gan


Avon: "This is the previous tenant - he´s spending 6 weeks in traction"
Blake: "Yes, it is rather compact and bijou in here..."

Futsie


A: And this is our ´Male Dom´ model. Programmed for all your S&M needs. Of course, it will cost extra if there are two of you...

Gilthanis


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