Ooohh, look! I found the needle!
Coming to a PC near you
And if England did win the Olympic bid...
The federation entry for the Chelsea flower show proved a dissapointment to the judges
´Get your instruments. Hop it! We need three more guys at the top for the ´F´ in ´Federation´.´ Come on, we don´t want to lose the marching band competition!
Well Where Are They?
"I´ve lost my Invisible Dog"
"I just saw hime over there chasing the invisible sheep"
"Here Shep, here Shep!"
"These blasted invisble dogs always seem to get lost"
The annual invisible dog show was a massive success this year.
Bow to your partner & do si do...
"Are you sure this is how to make crop circles?"
"Oh no, the Sarge has fell in the dog toilet!"
Hurry up and get the ball out, half my team are wandering off!
You lot - hold your positions whilst I try and remember the PIN Number! Shoot to kill if they get too close.
Well... it looks like cheese... it FEELS like cheese... but why is it sculptered into a picnic basket?
The Rebel side thought it was most unfair of the Feds to surround their wicket with a yellow riot shield.
"Ewww, there´s big spidery thing in the picnic hamper!"
I´ve got the flag, I´ve got the flag!
"Ah wonderful... troopers... in the park... yellow boxes for goalposts... those were the days, isn´it wasn´it didn´it? oo I don´t know.."
Can someone re start the music please? This cow pat is seeping into my sock and whiffs a bit!
Can so meone re start the music please? This cow pat is seeping into my sock and whiffs a bit!
Trooper: I´m sure I left it here somewhere
Other troopers: Grrrrr "$$%"£%$!
The hunt for Servalan´s lost contact lens heightens it’s intensity.
"Colonel, I have detected their tachyon signature on then fulse radometer. It appears that they are attempting... oh cut! I trod in a cowpat again."
Gareth(off screen)from Hartbeat: " Gerr0ff my land, before I shoot thy lotta ye"
THE MILKY BARS ARE ON ME
LOOK EVERONE!, I´ve just stood on a little Kairopan spider!
Captain: " You think thats funny, here comes its parents - RUN!"
Tarrant(off screen): "...and here are the Kairopan fields on Kairos..."
Vila: "That planet looks a bit... tufty... reminds me of something... er... ooops..."
The entire tribal culture of the plains would be wiped out a mere 10 years after the appearance of the first Sunny Delight salesmen...
The interglalatic version of I am an Federation officer...get me out of here!!!
Hide and seek on dartmoor proved less and less fun with each subsequent game. With only one decent hiding place (an inexplicably placed yellow box) it soon become quite tedious.. People were even begining to try and imitate rocks, trees and bushes, without any success.
The Federation ORINTATION course got off to a very bad start!!
LOOK EVERYONE! - my lucks about to change, I´ve found a four-leaf clover!
KEEP SEARCHING! - has soon as we find those keys we can lift off!
"Damn - I could have sworn that I left the Scorpio parked round here *somewhere*...."
Upon microscopic examination, the philosophical fleas (seen here worshipping a nail paring) found evolving in Vila´s bunk on the London prove his assertion that there´s ´more life in a prison blanket´.
The Teletubbie hunting season gets into full swing
"Look , i`ve got a Tinky Winky ! "
"Well that`s your problem pal"
Everyone was confused why they were on a planet and there was no quarry
Get that bit of cheese off the Subbuteo table!
The federation test their new secret weapon
`The stealth balloon`
1 by 1 they all climbed into the box and vanished
Man at top: I´m not playing hide-n-seek with you lot anymore, you cheat
The day was drawing to an end and they still hadn´t found the captain´s contact lens
The supply drop had not been a success. All they´d got was a giant yellow cool box and an inflatable dinosaur.
Rick Wakeman´s guest appearance.
... however the script described it as "EXT. DAY. CROWDS GATHER ON A PLANET OF UNSURPASSING BEAUTY"
The famous Blake´s Seven "lost episode" - "The Cornetto salesman of Vangtron 4"
"So we´re doing it without a director again this week?"
They had to admit the turn out for the re-enactment was less than they hoped for.
Bayleaf The Gardner
Fortean Times: Tiny men found stealing piece of Lego.
They all headed to the fridge during half-time at the annual federation 5-a-side football match
If you go down in the woods today , be sure of a big surprise
Cos , some bugger`s cut it down !
It was survival of the fittest when trying to grab the last toilet on the planet.
Musical chairs just wasn´t so fun any more