The Saurian Major franchise of Fame Academy was somewhat more compelling than the Earth original.
TARRANT: It doesnīt matter how long I stare at it, I still canīt see anything except a brown blob.
VILA: try looking at it crosseyed, its really amazing.
Tarrant was beginning to have doubts about spending his Saturday nights taking part in these consumer surveys.
Vila liked to relive the old earth days by inviting a couple of friends round to watch the latest shit on the telly.
The weekly episodes of Morph helped them get through an otherwise drab existance
After several years in space with no xmas crackers the vr-hat was starting to look decidedly tatty.
Tarrant: "Iīd say those are... Choco-flakes!"
Cally: "No, they havenīt turned the milk brown... maybe theyīre Wheatybits?"
Vila: "Iīm fed up with you two always watching these stupid cereals..."
CALLY: Wake up, Vila! Itīs that programme about geology that you like!
Are you sure thatīs it?
Yes, thatīs what happens to people who eat too much chocolate
They all agreed, the prizes on game shows werenīt what they used to be.
The crew never could work out why they had to sit in a tea cup to make the monitor work.
Sadly Tarrantīs arm just wasnīt long enough to reach round behind Cally to clip Vilaīs ear for yet another bad joke.
Plastercine modelling night was a real disaster
Tarant: I donīt care how noble Blake is supposed to be, his shit still smells bad.
After intense study the crew still couldn’t distinguish between OG faeces and hash. But either way they decided it was good shit.
The Liberator crew were disturbed to find themselves hallucinating about what theyīd smoked to make them hallucinate.
After 5 minutes they all came to the same conclusion... it was crap
Everyone looked on in wonder as Villa completed level 4 in the īrevenge of the turdsī video game
Tarrant: "ZEN, you can scan round that thing as much as you like, it still looks like a rock!"
Avonīs holiday snaps werenīt impressing anyone!
Tarrant: " Day time TV still hasnīt improved any"
Vila: Yep, thatīs all that was left of Avon after he got zapped on Fosforon. Crispy bacon. He was wrong though, there was enough for a sandwich. I only just stopped that bastard Tynus from eating it.
Tarrant: " I wonder if that the BBCīs new test-card!"
This fishtank is rubbish....
"Looks like they left the pursuit ships over by the radiator again..."
Well I must admit that Mars looks small from space, but I didnīt know it looked like that!
the killer pixie
V: (in awe) Thatīs it, is it?
C: Itīs so small and shriveled.
T: What did you expect Avonīs heart to look like?
Avon and Dayna having already failed Zenīs Rorschach Test, the remaining crew attempt to prove their sanity.
Vila: Itīs a womanīs pelvis. A woman with long legs.
Cally: It is an alien butterfly, callously trodden underfoot by the Federation.
Tarrant: Itīs a Mark 10 Planet-hopper blasted by Pursuit ships.
Zen: Off my flight deck! The lot of you! Iīll take care of the ship-eating fungus myself!
This years rock festival
( for the seriously short of cash )
What d`ya mean the teleport system appears to have malfunctioned Zen ?
Where`s Avon , he can fix...... erm , ah
Vila: Bloody īell, that Zenīs let himself go a bit hasnīt he?
"Are you sure thatīs what Chocolate Mousse looks like?"
the killer pixie
Tarrant: Zen are you sure this is what a Big Mac looked like in the 21st century?
"And welcome to another edition of Through the Lug-hole packed with exciting celebrity ear-wax!"
C: You would think the pictures they use for the take out menu would look more appetizing.
V: Aw, hurry up and pick something, Cally. Iīm starving!
A second later Cally slapped Tarrant one for trying to make out in the cinema.
V: I may not know art, but I know what I like!
Cally: Oh no, repeats again!
The ancient art of Alchemy was alive and well, if not very sucessful, on the Liberator.
The crewīs latest atempt to create a secret weapon to bring the Federation down with was a little disappointing. The Kryptonite hadnīt really worked as the video replay showed.
Vila: Iīll name that meal in two.
Blake gets sudden voice in head whilst sitting on toilet: "I wonder what on Earth Cally meant by that!?"
Tarrant "Oh for god`s sake Vila , we don`t want QVC , put the damn film back on"
Cally "YES !!! i`ve got to have it , it`s only 5000 credits"
Vila: You know, we really should get round to cleaning that off.
Cally: Weīve been had again. Thereīs no way thatīs pure.
Vila: Oh I can see it! You need to tilt your head slightly to the right though. These Magic Eye 3D pictures are amazing.
Tarrant: I donīt fancy yours Vila.
The seasonal game of Pictionary was in full swing. Avon was getting so animated that the crew couldnīt get the answer heīd dropped the pen in a fit of rage.
Vila: So itīs true, we really have īdesicatedī the opposition. What?
Vila: Dayna still doesnīt understand why a giant spider called Brian would want that stuff.
No-one was absolutely sure what it was, but its size was very impressive
Zen: Information. Dinner is served.
The B7 Crystal Entity was predictably a bit low budget...
Blake booked emergency appointments at the hairdresserīs and the dental surgery when everyone thought Tarrant was him...
TV: "the news today, the world wide shortage of crystalised ginger (shown here) has began biting hard in the upper eschelons of the Federation"
VILA: "Thankgod for that, does this mean we can stop eating all this damn stuff now Tarrant?"
Everyone agreed that the standards of FOX TV had gone downhill.
Vila: Maybe we should get Avon to have a look at it - I still say thereīs a green tinge.
Cally: *Not so clever Blake, you forget I am telepathic*
Blake sneakily inched his arm behind Cally waiting for the inevitable "scary bit"
Vila: Same old crap on TV...
Avon’s chocolate soufflé was the outright winner in the Liberators baking competition.
Orac’s slide show on alien droppings proved to be surprisingly engrossing.