Tarrant: All right, where did you hide it? Where did you hide my giant-sized Snickers bar?
the killer pixie
Dayna and Tarrant were shocked at how rough Avon looked the morning after.
Tarrant: You´re holding out on us, aren´t you, Keeler?
Keeler: No - er, no, no...
Dayna: You get one chance before I tell Tarrant to stop just standing there trying to look pretty - now, for the last time, WHERE IS MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT??!
the killer pixie
Tarrant: "Dayna´s put a lot of effort into boiling those sprouts and you´ll SIT there until you´ve eaten every last one!"
It wasn´t that Dayna disliked Keeler, it was just that he spent so long in the Vibro-chair that she finally had to resort to one of Tarrant´s gun point slide shows just to get him out.
The William Tell re-enactment had not gone well...
Dayna was wondering how long this would take as she really wanted to adjust her bra strap
Keeler was not keen on Tarrant’s suggested constipation cure, no matter which type of clip he was going to put in the gun.
Dayna: That´s the 5th assistant you´ve killed this week!
Tarrant: Damn, I felt sure this one could catch the bullet in his teeth.
Tarrant, who had always wanted to be a dentist, sometimes practised on unsuspecting guests.
Tarrant: "Come on, you´ve only got to eat one more fun sized Crunchie Bar and you´ll have broken Blake´s record of 300 in one sitting! Come on, you can do it!"
Keeler: "Blloooorp... oh, no please... Hooorrrrp... o god the carrots... oog..."
Tarrant had recently noticed that his hairline was receding and he´d had it in for bald people ever since...
Tarrant: Don´t get funny with me - I´ve done things that´d make your hair curl!
Keeler: Speak for yourself, mate!
Tarrant: RIGHT!....one more chance before something bad happens to you....where did you hide daynas razor!?
tarrant: ahah, that´ll teach you to laugh at my perm and try to tell me bald is best!
DAYNA: Tarrant, did you pull his plug out?
TARRANT: Erm, I, er, um...
T: You were holding out on us, Keeler. We found this in your pocket.
K: It´s only a fun size crunch bar! I only had the one!! There´s not enough for everybody!!! For pity´s sake, I´m a big man! I need it!!!!
Tarrant: (To the tune of "By the Waters of Babylon")
...and rinse out your mouth,
With the medication,
Spit it out,
In the reciptical by your side,
On the right...no, the right.
Tarrant readies his mister and snippers "Short back and sides, sir?"
Keeler: "What do you think, a mohican? I don´t have a lot of choice do I?"
Dayna "Come on Santa , make it easy on yourself , tell us who the elves are and my friend here won`t have to use this thing"
Santa "No , please , it`s more than my job`s worth !!!"
It was no use, Keeler was out for the count and nothing would wake him, not even Tarrant´s electric remote controlled whoopy cushion.
Keeler: Ahhhh. I come for the service, but I stay for the legroom.
Tarrant: Another bag of peanuts sir?
Tarrant: Okay Keeler, that´s seven minutes on the stopwatch, you can stop playing dead now - you´ve won the bet.
Dayna: I don´t think he´s ´playing´...
Tarrant: You leave me no choice Keeler, if you don´t answer this time I´m turning Channel 5 on.
Keeler: No, please! Not Jonathan Pearce´s Football Night! Please!
Tarrant: I don´t think much of your ventriloquist routine Dayna.
Dayna: You can´t see where my hand is.
Dayna: I can see my face reflected on the top of his head.
Now I vill ask you again. Is it safe?
Tarrant: " Avon, You can stop that now, I think he´s under your control now"
Orac: "The contagient is highly infectious, people coming into even sight of the contagient may misspell their own nickname..."
Orac: "I have analysed the airborne contagient - a sono-vapour derivative which will cause instantaneous sleep paralysis - hello?"
I told you to watch out for those caterpillars! It´s going for my throat!
Fortunately for Tarrant a lucky ricochet compensated for his appalling aim