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Travis : Now men remember to take the safety off before firing.
Have you any idea what this thing is supposed to do, i brought it out of the readers digest lucky dip catalog, i was hoping it was a sink unblocker.
trooper: he'll have someones eye out with that if he's not carefull.
His team having only won two crystals so far, Travis would deal harshly with whoever failed the next game in the Crystal Maze
I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive!
I'm really impressed!
Travis held a military memorial service for his dead Tamogotchi...
Travis: "Damn, it's out of ping-pong balls..."
Big Brother prepares for a mass eviction of all house-mates
Travis: " This will give the public something to moan about"
Travis was confused on how the new hair drier conected to the hats on his troopers heads, after getting it back home and finding the box was missing the instructions.
After many years loyal service Travis weren't impressed with his leaving gift
Travis: "I say Corporal, you've got your new weapon, jolly good, what! It looks terribly threatening and everything, eh, what!"
Trooper: "Yes sir... (sigh)... Now remember, sir, don't go peering down the barrel to inspect it like last time..."
You've drawn your new weapon from the armoury, I see.
It won't kill, but it may - damage ... so aim at their faces.
We'll still be able to tell them apart.
They might just need a patch.... Fair's fair.
It surprised many when Travis took over from Davina McCall on Big Brother but not as much as it surprised the evictees when they saw the reception he had prepared for them.
'Don't blink Sir.'
But it was too late.
The Statues had come to take Travis into a time that better suited him.
Ahh the 80s when leather and real men's men weren't considered gay.
Another stupid caption
Trooper: That gun your holding isn't a patch on your usual weapon Sir.....er, I'll get me coat.
Travis: This Gay-Dar machine seems to be pointing directly at me.
Trooper: That explains why your bodyguards are wearing make up then.
Last Caption Hero
Travis: My breathaliser tells me you're drunk while on duty, how do you answer that then trooper?
Trooper: I clocked out half an hour ago sir.
Last Caption Hero
Travis: According to my breathaliser Trooper you are six times over the alcohol legal limit.I'll have to charge you with drink driving. How do you answer that then eh, eh?
Trooper: I came on the bus sir.
Last Caption Hero
Damm i^ve just found out from b&q,that this gun that i brought last week is now out of date, and to make it worst it was 20% off day yesterday on all guns.
Travis "It's helmet or gun. I'll take that."
'From the boys in number 7 platoon, with love. Awww, you guys!'
Travis: Aha, the new hair dryers are here at last... No longer will my mutoids have to wear those ridiculous hats... mwa-ha-hahahaaa!
Travis: Damn, how's the "did I fire five, or did I fire six" line going to work with this thing?!
Travis: Instructions for use,
1. Make sure an adult is present at all times
2. Aim away from face
3. If a gun doesn't seem to work, don't attempt to re-load it. Stand back for a while. If you can reach it with a hose or bucket without getting too close, douse it with water.
4. Do not at any time attempt to make your own firng noises
5. Store in a cool, dry place
6. Keep away from children
Trooper: "You hold it the other way, sir."
Blake Was Right
Travis: I don't care if I need a test for Bowel Cancer! There's no way I am sticking this up my rectum
"This is a superglue gun. Didn't I tell you not to superglue your helmets on you muppets!"
Travis: Crucifixion? Gooood
Travis: 'Cold fish? There must be something wrong with this love tester.
Travis: "New gun?"
Guard: "Yes sir"
Travis: "Cheep Chinease rubbish"
Guard: "Costcutting Sir. All the money was spent on the security Robot"
Trapped in on of Cockroach Boy's more fetishistic fantasies, Travis was going to have to shoot his way out...
Travis: What's this, made in Taiwan?
Ever the disciplinarian, Travis punished failure with instant glueing to the nearest wall.
'Oh. It was a gun in your pocket after all'
Due to budgetary constraints, the kitchen staff were now forced to undergo basic weapons training too.
"Ooh, it looks just like a big black cake decorator, space commander."
"Yes, it - What? I'm a field officer, not one of your decorative cakes."
Hmmm , got it off EBAY you say huh ,
let`s test it , shoot that mutoid on my left.
Travis: "As I was saying, we all have to learn to live with disappointment"
white afro in space