Off-screen Voice: And here are today´s fashions, ladies and gentlemen, beautifully displayed by these two gentlemen and the cube...
By the look of you, you have already eaten one cube, surely your not going to eat another?
This is a clever optical illusion. If you remove the cube you will see that the two men are in fact exactly the same height.
Buddha still lives on!
Please form an orderly cube... ha.... ha......
The Generation Game: er... lemme see... er... big pink cube thing... er... two dodgy looking geezers... er...
Avon "I hate these base station lifts"
Keeler: "Is it in?"
"Well this is the cheapest VCR we have at the moment sir - was £99 but reduced to £49 due to slight cube damage..."
Avon: "Look Keeler that must be the new Game Cube!"
Keeler: "Sure is, maybe if we act like we don´t want it The Federation will let us have it."
A: Keep staring at the wall, we may just be able to knock it down! And if we´re lucky, we´ll get the cube, too!
A: The Federation will never know that it was us who knocked their wall down!
K: Oh, I dunno, I could swear the cube´s watching us...
the killer pixie
(Avon thinking) Maybe it was a mistake, taking door number three. Now I´ll never know what was in the red cube box...
Keeler: Is that diagram of the ship following us accurate and is it what I think it is?
Avon: Yes, it´s a Borg cube ship.
Keeler (panicky): What are we gonna do?
Avon: Maybe if we stare at the wall and act like we´ve been assimilated they´ll ignore us!
Avon: You mean the BORG are after US??
Keeler: Well, if we look like we´ve already been assimilated we MIGHT just get away with out minds!
Avon: Did you press the button? Or do you possibly have difficulty reaching it?
Avon: Orac said something about a sub mutronic overlap shift meaning that we couldn´t use the teleport, but I think it´s just a plot device to get me stuck with you.
Avon hated waiting in the queue at the bank, there was always someone with a huge rotating red cube to cash in front of him
Avon: Is it me or is it getting bigger?
Keeler: Please tell me you´re talking about the cube.
Keiller: I hate these modern space ships. The lifts take forever.
Avon: And the muzak is enough to drive one to crime.
Keiller: There´s a big red cube in here somewhere.
Avon: Well, keep looking, it can´t be far away.
Avon and Keeler were looking for the next exhibit in the year 9 federation school craft competition
The future of man kind will go through an interesting cycle, in mans never ending search for perfection of the human form.
Psychopath -> short fat man -> Translucent Red cube
Keeler: Let me know if you see any red, green and blue caterpillars - some escaped from a cargo shipment and they´re deadly!
Avon: Keeler, do you polish your bald patch or is it natural shine?
Keeler: I use that red cube, it´s patent patent polisher
Neither Avon nor Keeler had what it took to do a really convincing Alfred Hitchcock impression
Keeler: The ship´s got state-of-the-art red crystal security cameras hidden everywhere, they´re virtually undetectable.
I told sony that the Playstation 27 would be to big
Avon ( thinking ) "Ah well , I guess if you can`t have two weeks in the Algarve then a week at Butlins is better than nothing"
Senior Redcoat "This is your chalet sir , breakfast is served at eight"
Avon: Conditions in this toilet are dreadful.
Keeler: you´re not the one standing at the front.
Keeler: You know, I don´t think modern art is what it used to be.
Avon: That´s because you´re too shallow to appreciate it.
Keeler: You made this one didn´t you?
Avon: Oh I´m so sorry, I didn´t see you there.
Keeler: Not at all, I enjoyed it.
Avon begins to regret taking Orac up on his advice of checking into a clothes rehab clinic
"See , it`s a red day today Mr Avon , tommorow it`s pink"
Avon decided to try out for the next Penguin advertisement. Looking at the competition, he might have a chance!
GUARD: So, Madam, can you see the individual who stole your gold in this line-up?
Remember Keeler , green is clean.............
AVON: So . . . do you come here often?
Avon never quite got over his rejection from The Krypton Factor.