Cally to Vila *Vila have you starched Tarrant and Avons underwear again*
'And you can all stay in the corner' said Zen 'Until you learn to behave properly!'
Vila: "Don't think much of this Forum meet-up. Nowhere to sit, nothing to drink. It's all a bit too formal for my liking. Certainly not as good as the last one."
Avon For Ever
and dayna, tarrant and avon were the only ones who noticed the pursuit ships...
the zombies are coming...
"Vila, you *are* the weakest link. Goodbye."
Avon For Ever
Vila: "I'm telling you, wearing shoulder embellishments in the posture compeition IS cheating!"
Villa: Meet the Queen you said, Freddie never looked like that on stage, not even with the crown.
Vila realised with dismay that Cally had seen him pinch Tarrant's bottom.
Vila: What's Avon hiding behind his back?
Dayna: Don't worry, he's asked Tarrant to go first, not you.
Vila: I hate the yearly Christmas picture
Avon face frooze up when he saw that the aliens
Orac (offscreen): And when the music stops you must stand absolutely still...I said still, Vila!
Vila: "Pssst, Cally - look what a big nose Avon's got!"
Who dropped that one then?
Three hours 27 minutes and 42 seconds later.......
And watching paint dry , was still more enjoyable than Vila`s last joke !
When boredom had reached new proportions on board the Liberator it was decided to form a barbershop quartet...of course somebody had to be left out.
V:"Why's it always me?"
Vila "tell me we are NOT having to do another series of this show?"
Cally "Not me, I am no fool"
Dayna "I am only here to get my career on the move and plan to disown the fact I was even in this terrible show after the next season"
Tarrant "God, I am a real hunk" as he catches sight of his reflection.
Avon "My diet worked. And if they think I am going to agree to being killed at the end of next season even though I am surrounded by dozens of fed soliders with no hope of escape after having just killed Blake they have another thing coming"
Vila: "I'm going to quit being a shop-window dummy if they're going to keep dressing us up in this dreck!"
Karaoke night hit an all time low with this rendition of the Village People: YMCA.
Space Commander Travis
There was only one lavatory on the Liberator and Orac had been in there for twenty minutes. The queue was getting impatient.
The Terran Federation was vast, powerful and ran itself with an iron fist, but public transport still hadn't improved.
Vila wasn't happy with the decision but Avon insisted that Cally had won the 'Who's got the longest arms?' contest.
This years annual standing contest was just about as exciting as last years
Villa: So that's Earth, doesn't look like much
Look at the correlation of the actors (stars) everyone
this image lineup is unique in TV history
IQs (left to right) 180 , 26 , 4 , 1 , 0
Outfits (left to right) £180 , £26 , £4 , £1 , £0
Grey hairs (left to right) 180 , 26 , 4 , 1 , 0
The total horror of the phone bill Zen had put on main screen was beginning to sink in.
Tarrant stared in terror at the twenty million credits worth of "big burly troopers in leather" he had built up, whilst Avon desperately wished he had made those long distance calls to Blake non-traceable.
Announcer: "And the winner of this week's best dressed aboard the Liberator award is...none of you! Your outfits all suck!"
Avon had thought it would be so much easier to win this contest now that Jenna was gone, but alas, it was not to be.
V: "How come Dana and Cally get to hold hands? Nobody's holding my hand - Tarrant? Avon, will you hold my hand?"
A: "Alright Zen, stand by to run the scan again."
T: "And this time get it right, we want a catagorical definition of whose bum is the biggest in these outfits."
Zen "16 stone 4 pounds , next crew member step up please"
Vila "I just want you all to know , Avon made me have seconds for dinner"
It was five seconds to midnight on New Year's Eve and Vila had a worrying feeling that he wouldn't be kissing Dayna or Cally...
Vila had never noticed before that Cally and Dayna were Siamese Twins.
With a familiar sinking feeling, Cally, Vila and Dayna realised that Avon and Tarrant weren't talking again.
Avon was waiting for the right moment to jump to the front of the dinner queue.
This years Turkish entry to the Eurovision song contest await judement. That's right; this years entry.