"Not that ******* thing again!"
Avon was extremely annoyed by Tarrant's continued use of the Crazy Frog as his ringtone.
"Oh god, I think I'm going to be violently and copiously sick!"
Avon looked on concerned after Vila realised he shouldn't have eaten the out of date mango chutney
Shock , horror , and petrifying panic ,
in no particular order , strikes the crew ,
as the weekly storage list reveals that they are in fact completely out of.......
double chocolate flapjacks
Christmas time was a very exciting one. Tarrant received a video ipod and Vila got a boardgame. However Avon had no gifts and wondered if it was something to do with the fact he had been mean to everyone, that kept him from sharing in Christmas day.
No-one could meet Avon's eye after he asked 'So, do I look fat in this?'
...Does anyone know how to dial a pizza around here..
Vila: 3D puzzle my arse! I'm going blind staring at this thing, and I still can't see the hidden picture!
Tarrant: "You're not alone in losing your ship. The losses on both sides have been tremendous. I've been monitoring the status transmissions."
Vila: "Did I win?"
white afro in space
DONT THINK THAT I CANT SEE YOU AVON TRYING TO NICK ONE OF VILLAS PIECES,THAT WONT HELP HIM AS I HAVE ALREADY NICKED LOADS SIGHS TARRANT
Tarrant: OMG, What have you done to Cally?
Even the gentle , smooth silky touch of Avon`s grip for moral support ,
wasn`t going to change how many hours Tarrant would have to spend cleaning the cargo hold ,
if he lost against Vila ,
nomatter how many buttons he pressed on that calculator
54124? What could it mean?
Vila: This means something. This is important.
Tarrant: "Oh my Tamagotchi just died"
Zen loved Christmas mornings. Vila and Tarrant ,up early and still in their pyjamas, unwraping their presents whilst Avon tried to nudge Santa's corpse under the sofa before anyone noticed.
Staring at it will not make the pieces move you know
Tarrant: "Now remember, the white is Servalan, the black is Travis and the three coloured ones are the three of us. I've computed that with this current formation we should be able to beat them in 9 more moves. However, we might have to sacrifice Vila on move 7."
Avon wondered if Tarrant was still talking about the game.
Avon For Ever
Vila: "You know Avon, I'm not sure how this probability square works. Are you sure you've set it up right?"
Avon For Ever
Vila: "Now look Tarrant - you can cheat all you like with that gizmo, but I'll still beat you. I was junior champion at 'harlequin chess' three years running".
Avon For Ever
Tarrant: "I'm sorry Avon, but it says your boring grey jumpsuit won't be delivered for at least another week."
Avon For Ever
'Well' said Tarrant 'The readings indicate that Vila has been taken over by a giant toblerone!'
'My God!' said Avon
'You didn't expect Toblerone Avon?'
'Mmmm? No, I just can't believe it didn't take over Cally like everyone else!'
Even Vila had noticed Avon wasn't particularly happy about Tarrant holding Avon's hand.
Avon: "Tarrant we are only friends."
'Only ten more minutes Vila' said Tarrant 'And the Liberator's colonic irrigation unit will have done its work'
V: Ok, so the white one is the salt and the black one is the pepper - that's obvious. But what about these others?
T: This one says 'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog'.
A: Another one of Cally's alien spices...
The aftermath of Vila's sneeze was horrific for Tarrant, but mildly amusing for Avon.
Vila "Excuse me, I should not have had the beans last night"
Tarrant times how long it takes his Auto-shoulder pads to fully expand.
Zen "Extreme organic virtical grown detected , in the vacinity of the gaming area"
Tarrant "It`s razuuuur tiiiime Vila me old shipmate"
Vila: Pawn to king's rook. You know what that means! I get to raid the bank again, go ahead 2 spaces, and get all the beer in the fridge!
Avon: Not so fast. You landed on property I own. Now I get $5,000 and a big handful of jewels from the treasure room.
Vila: Since when do you own that space?
Avon: Since I landed on the time machine space.
Vila: Since when is there one of those?
Avon: Well now, you wouldn't have seen me land on it, now would you? I went back in time and made sure you were looking the other way when I designated it as a time machine space.
Tarrant looked on in amazement. Nothing was more fun than watching a game being played by two rule-breakers like Vila and Avon.
"And for people watching in black and white , the yellow triangle is just behind the red one"
If you think you're going to bet me at this game you better think again don't you know by now that i'm invincible?
Tarrant called Toys R Us on his mobile to complain that the remote control Vila figure he'd bought Avon for Christmas wasn't working.
After Avon had superglued Vila's hands to the table, Tarrant waited a good ten minutes before calling 999.