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November
Competition
Just can't beat the hair jokes! Well done!
Tarrant
desperately tried to escape the hairdressing salon when he saw
what they'd done to the previous customer...
 by Futsie
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TARRANT: The fridddge! I have found a fridge!
SERVALAN: How exciting.
by Currer
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Tarrent: "No Avon, i can see her shoulder! uck help me"
by Annie
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Tarrent: "No Avon! don't lock me in here with HER!"
by Tilly
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Servalan: Come on Tarrant! Hurry up and piddle through Avon's letterbox and let's get out of here!
Tarrant: I forgot about Avon's dog! It's trained to collect the newspaper (whimper)...
by Futsie
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Servalan: Quick Tarrant, close the door! It's Jehovahs Witnesses!
by Darkside
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tarrant: open the bathroom door, i'm going to be sick!
Servalan: yes, i know how you feel. Vila in that see-through dress with no pants on has made me feel rather queasy also.
Avon from inside the door: bleeaaugghh.
by caz
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tarrant: i don't care what you say Servalan, Avons hiding in there with my personality and i want it back NOW!!
Avon from inside the door: you've done well without it so far.
Servalan: yes, i doubt anyone will really notice the difference......
by caz
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tarrant : my god! i must escape this noxious odor
servalan: oh tarrant, don't be so dramatic, that's just my old friend travis
by freakycat
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Tarrant proves his strength to Servalan by opening the largest sardine can in the universe without using the key.
by Slartibartfast
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Just a moment Servalan, the glue on this door handle is still drying. If I let go, it'll fall off!
by Simon
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I told you not to have beans for dinner
by Waylander
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But I only want a little kiss
by Waylander
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tarrant...dammit, i will not be stuck in a lift with you.
servalan.. oh come on, it give us a chance to spend some quality time together
tarrant...come on open, i dont care if we are 2 miles above the ground, ill risk the fall.
by ssj-imp
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servalan..no, keep that wardrobe closed, i dont want to see any of those 70s outfits again
tarrant. ahhh, too full, doors...wont close...they are going to.....NOOOOOOOOOOOO
by ssj-imp
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Tarrant: Where's Vila, he's clever with these things!
by Vila meself
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Tarrant - 'I really don't think saving you're finger nails is worth my hernia, Servalan.'
by Octagonal
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Serverlan "There's a Tarrant on my starbord bow starbord bow Avon"
by Vidar Raven
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Avon: FOR GOD'S SAKE TARRENT OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!!!
Tarrent: Really Avon the place is a bloody mess, you don't want to come in here!
Servelan: O no dear, what are we going to do.
Avon: What are you talking about tarrent! THis is my bloody room!
Tarrnet: Youre a bloody slob Avon. Um...you need to have your room cleaned and I'll do for you!
Servelan: I can sit real still and pretend to be a nightstand.
Tarrent: Shut up Servelan!
Avon: WHAT! I just heard servelan! I knew somthing was going on!
Tarrent: Ugh, he he, somthing going on? here? no nothings going on.
Avon: Damn you Tarrent I'll kill you!
Servelan: Honey, do I make a good nightstand?
Tarrent: What?!
Servelan: Ok, how about a lampost then?
by Armpit danny
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Tarrant attempted to show his strength by pulling the door open... it was a sliding door!
by cmdahms
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Servalan: [backing away slightly] Oh dear... I didn't realize that you couldn't be both resourceful and decorative at the same time.
by DaMo
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Vila: Oh come on, Tarrant, let me in! You said you had something tasty in there, and I'm feeling peckish!
by Vila meself
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EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Of the intergalatic sardines contest shows the riegning chapions holding on to their tital for a third successive year....
by THE DOCTOR ALT 8
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Tarrent thought he had managed to lock out all the members of the Tarrent fan club. Unfortunatly, their presedent had already sneeked in....
by THE DOCTOR ALT 8
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Oh My God - Tufty invasion. If I hide in here he should not find me....
by Jan
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Oh my God, let me outta here!! Servalans here and she's amorous. HELP!!!
by Jan
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Servalan: "hmm, I wonder if I would look that good in a curly wig?"
by Helen
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Servalan is a little worried by Tarrant's attempt to show how strong he is by opening the door.
by Helen
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Tarrant: Look Servalan, I've already told you... If you are the girl next to the door, I'm moving...
Servalan: Moving what?
Tarrant: Moving the door, of course.
by DaMo
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Servalan: I know you said 'If you were the girl next door, I'd move," but do you have to go so soon?
by Patrick Chapman
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Tarrant I don't care if it is the Tuffty baiters society,you can't keep them out forever !
by Vidar Raven
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SERVALAN: This really isn't helping my self esteem...
by Currer
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Tarrant: "look what you could have won!"
by fred the bear
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And things don`t get any better in the BBCs children department either ,
When the back of the clothes cabinet falls off
in...
"The Lion"
"The Witch"
"And The Federation Walk-in Wardobe"
by Magic Pebble
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Oh no! Vila's let chewing gum on the door again...
by Currer
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D'you reckon there's a hull breach, and the flight deck has been evacuated, killing everyone else on board:?
Or is the door just stuck again?
by Manda Benson
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SERVELAN & TARRANT: Let us out! Vila's in here and he's telling jokes!
by Manda Benson
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TARRANT: Time's up! Right, Avon, you've been in there for two hours and I've had enough. Granted, you do have unruly hair and stubble. But there's a big queue forming out here and I'm desperate. Honestly, you'd think with a ship as fantastically advanced as <i>The Liberator</i> they could at least afford to put in a separate shower and toilet.
SERVELAN: Oh, stop whinging and go out the airlock, you great wet ninny.
by Manda Benson
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TARRANT: Avon, open this door. Your mother's here to see you.
by Manda Benson
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Ow Tarrant! You're trapping my fingers in the door!
by Manda Benson
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With Tarrant cornered, Servelan reveals her sado-masochistic tendencies.
by Manda Benson
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Unfortunately for Tarrant the builders supply yard dumped fourteen tons of green sand right outside the only door of Duntuftin' - and worse yet it was just after Servalan had come round for tea and crumpet.
by Slartibartfast
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Servalan: This is the last time I let you book the package holiday.
by Slartibartfast
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Servalan looks on as Tarrant realises his hands are glued to the rapidly closing door...
by Slartibartfast
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quick tarrant. We MUST get into Avons wardrobe. I'm dying to see you in that black leather number, and i'm sure vila would suit that silver anorak perfectly!!
by CAZ
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And our third guy behind door number 3 is Kerr Avon, no need to be shy, you'll like this one.
by Jonny
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And you two can stay in your bedroom until you can tidy it up!
by Currer
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Tarrent: O god help me!!! I'm trapped in this hell hole of a place with Servalen!
Servalen: Come here big boy.
Avon(outside door): Ha, call me crazy will you. That will teach you.
by Armpit Danny
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AVON: Who's in my bedroom?
SERVALAN: Okay, Tarrant, you open the door and I'll whack Avon one when he comes in.
TARRANT: Damn! And all I wanted to do was see his space porn collection!
AVON: I don;t have space porn!
by Currer
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SERVALAN: Sorry, Tarrant, but you're NEVER going to win "World's Strongest Man!.
by Currer
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SERVALAN <backing away>: No Tarrant! Keep that door closed! It's where they keep the BBC script writers!
by Currer
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Tarrant "AVON! LET ME OUT, Im not going to play kiss-me-quick with her"
Servalan "Oh the shame of it"
by Lord_Avon
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Even Servalan felt a little nervous as Tarrant prepared to let in Space Command's 'Bad Boys' First XV after they'd already had eight pints of lager, a curry and a stripper...
by Jo Grant
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Tarrant: Ming! Just as I suspected.
by CIK
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"...Now we just leave the door ajar like this and when Avon walks in, the bucket falls on his head and spills water everywhere!"
by Dave B
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As Servalan pressed herself into the ridiculously poor hiding spot in plain sight, Tarrant abruptly lost all peripheral vision and assumed that she must have left the room through the locked door.
by Chaos
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Avon: (on other side of door) Avon calling!
Tarrant: We don't want any!
Servalan: D*mn door-to-door salesmen.
by Chaos
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Servalan: What's in there?
Tarrant: Cybermen! I think we teleported into the wrong soundstage...
by Chaos
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Tarrant: "You can't come in, guys, we haven't even started yet."
by Octagonal
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Servalan: Quick! To the escape hatch!
No Tarrant that's the fridge.
Tarrant: Oh well I could do with a cold beer. Damn! It won't open.
Servalan: Well I told you we should have gone to Tempo!
Tarrant: But it was cheaper at Vila Reatal's Econemy Appliances!
Servalan: Quick we've got to hide the TV detector van's comming.
Tarrant: Shall I hide in the fridge???
by Minty-Lee/Al
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Tarrant: You couldn't find the manual for this door thing could you?
Servalan: Men!
by M&M
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Tarrant: I know Avon's here somewhere... aha! The old hiding-in-the-wardrobe I'll bet!
Servalan: Honestly darling there's nothing going on!
by futsie
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Look out! The set's falling down again!
by futsie
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Avon and Vila's evil laughs could be heard as the Servalan and Tarrant discovered that they'd smeared glue all over their washing.
VILA: Let this be a lesson to you Tarrant- wash yer own bloody thongs.
by Currer
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TARRANT: Hrraaagghh! Bliablke! Blooop!
SERVALAN: Uh, oh, he's flipped, he's finally flipped.
by Currer
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Servalan: Oh look Vila's comming down the corridor! He can open the door!
Tarrant: No! I CAN DO IT! GR!
by Al
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Tarrant I know some men find me frightening,but they don't bolt for the toilet as soon as I say hello.
by Vidar Raven
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Tarrant: #@*%!! Avon calling!
by Ewen Zathras
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Tarrant: NO!NO!NO!
Servalan: You've got to keep Chris Boucher out, Tarrant! Who knows what'll happen if he gets a chance to write again!
Tarrant: I know! Why don't you help me.
Servalan: I am helping. I'm supervising
by Ewen Zathras
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You idiot Tarrant,the notice said push not pull to open the door!
by Vidar Raven
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Tarrent. " Let me out, Let me out ! I don`t want to be in another Tanith Lee episode... "
by THE DOCTOR ALT 8
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Servalan to herself, " Dammit.. Stuck on a planet with only Tarrent for company... and he`s more interested in braking into my wardrobe than me !"
by THE DOCTOR ALT 8
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Oh no !
They`re going to discover our secret affair
Look out of the door Tarrant
What do you see ?
It`s just a small bunch of trees
It`s the COPSE !
by Magic Pebble
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Tarrant: Look, open the door, somebody! We've got a woman who's been glued to the wall in here!
by Martin
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Tarrant: ...98...99...100... Ready or not, here I come!
Servalan: [Snigger] He'll never think of looking here.
by Martin
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Tarrant: ...98...99...100... Ready or not, here I come!
by Martin
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I need the loo!
by Tufty
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